Sometimes I am a little harsh on my parents. It took me too many years to figure that out and believe it. Now that I am on the other end I am getting a better understanding that adults are still figuring things out even if they don't let the kids know it.
One night on the visit to my parents after everyone else had gone to sleep I had a discussion with my mom and sister. Among the topics discussed was how we used to view sin.
I sometimes point out that I grew up in a conservative environment. This is true, but my mom grew up in a much more conservative environment. Her history is from when our denomination actually reflected its holiness movement roots very strongly.
My mom's revelation to me over the holiday was her feelings about some of the things she was taught. Some of the points of contention she dealt with were related to whether women could wear much jewelry or makeup. She also mentioned that it was a big deal when the church camp that she attended started allowing girls to wear pants to services.
My mom pointed out that when she learned that a lot of this stuff wasn't important she felt duped. Being duped implies that someone is purposely trying to trick someone else, so she probably wasn't really duped in the literal sense. Even so, though, I am amazed because I often feel very similar to how she described.
I remember having the mindset that specific things were right and wrong not for particular moral reasons, but just because there was a rule somewhere that said it was wrong. Essentially, rules influenced morals rather than morals influencing rules. This is how I read the Bible and this approach was not discouraged in church. The approach isn't absolutely horrible if it is temporary, but it is technically inaccurate and immature.
This history is why Romans 14 is one of the most important passages of Scripture to me. Reading that chapter is what ultimately moved me out of this stage of life, and it remains foundational to my beliefs of how a Christian should live.
Any more, I have to bite my tongue any time I discuss Scriptural things with someone who has a very rule-based (rather than priciple-based) doctrine. It is not usually worth arguing, but I don't like to see people who I think are being duped.
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5 comments:
It is interesting when someone realizes their legalistic upbringing and starts to evaluate right and wrong.
Sometimes I'm immature about what I believe and why and other times I can take a broader perspective. I think for me it depends on the topic. I've noticed that with my mom as well. I guess we do get some traits from our folks after all!
I've always thought of myself as being a non-legalistic believer. Saddly, the older I get the more frequently I find my self playing the part of Tevya.....
... there are some things I will not - I cannot allow .... Tradition!!!!
I've seen so many example of traditions that were just plain silly - but as 'the papa', I'm starting to know what he means about how traditions can leave us feeling when the are gone - as shaky as a fiddler on the roof.
thanks for the good post holiday trip posts. Glad to know I'm not the only one that struggles with holiday loafing. Falling Waters sounds really cool.
Are your folks near the guy that has built a castle in his backyard there in PA?
I'm not aware that they are. Do you know where it was?
I remember having these exact same conversations with my parents several years ago. It is interesting hearing the history of moral fundamentalism through my parents and theirs.
I think everyone has a similar church camp story.
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