genetic testing

I just rewatched Gattaca for the first time since the 90s last night.  For those unaware, the premise is that in the near future children who are not genetically engineered are discriminated as such, and cannot get the same opportunities as those who are genetically engineered.

This calls to mind a concern I have had, and how it affects some minor decisions.  If given the opportunity I probably would not have genetic testing done, and I probably wouldn't get screening for diseases which lack a cure, such as Alzheimers.  The reason is not because I am morally or intellectually opposed to such testing.  The reason is that I think it will eventually mess up my insurance.

In Gattaca, the protagonist experiences discrimination in his desired profession of astronaut because his health makes him a risk to a mission.  He is instead only able to get a job cleaning offices.  The plot of the movie involves how he gets around the system in his attempt to get into the space program.

I don't fear my genetics or the results of a test would eliminate me from jobs like the main character in this movie, though I am already medically eliminated from a few. I am alert to the possibility that one day such a test could cause me to be unable to get health insurance or life insurance, however.

Right now in the U.S. it is not legal for health insurance companies to refuse to sell insurance to someone based on pre-existing conditions.  That may or may not be reversed in the future, as there is a lawsuit going through the federal court system which may do just that.  This is something that I always need to keep in mind when getting tested.

Furthermore, the pre-existing condition limitation also does not apply to companies who sell life insurance.  If I were to have a test done that showed I had a mutation that made me a bit more likely to have a stroke or get Alzheimers, I would be obligated to share this information with a company I was planning to by life insurance from, and potentially get myself priced out of the life insurance market as a result, in the case that I decided to get additional life insurance to what I currently have.

Some would jump to the insurance company's defense and say that their job is just to provide a service that sets a price based upon a calculated risk.  I am not casting blame, however.  I am just saying that in the current environment, there is a potential motivation to not know everything about your health and genetics.

Policy makers should keep in mind that systems which allow for filtering on pre-existing conditions or genetic conditions motivate some people like me to simply avoid pursuing that data.  There has to be a better way, so that willful ignorance isn't a winning strategy.

food after effects

When we visit my in-laws the kids love going to their local Godfather's Pizza.  They enjoy the food, and they enjoy the arcade area in that Godfather's.  So, we always have to make a trip there, which we did this past weekend as well.  This reminded me of something I have been noticing over the past couple of years.

Ever since I have been eating healthier I have noticed that I can seriously tell when I don't eat healthy.  It makes sense that eating healthier makes your digestive system feel and operate better, but the surprise to me is how much eating unhealthy makes me feel generally achy, inflamed, and lethargic.  Weird things happen like my tongue feels swollen, my legs don't seem to want to move, and my feet get a little tingly.  None of these effects are extreme, but they still pop out to me.  I'm now not sure if this is something that I've experienced my whole life and just never identified the pattern, or if it is something that is more noticeable since I am getting older.

As someone who doesn't normally eat breakfast, I've even noticed that if I do eat something unhealthy in the morning I feel worse than if I don't eat anything.  My stomach has always been a bit queasy in the morning anyway, but having something with a bit too much sugar also makes me feel generally achy and distracted for a short stretch of time afterward.

The positive from this is that it does provide extra motivation to eat right.  However, part of how I've stuck with eating healthy is planning out my cheat meals and snacks, and enjoying them to the fullest.  Understanding the repercussions may take away some of that enjoyment.

Am I the only one who has noticed this?  How do you feel after you've had a healthy or unhealthy meal?

construction

When I was in high school I received one of the greatest gifts possible--a job that I desperately didn't want to make into a career.  The summer I turned sixteen I was having trouble finding places that would hire someone my age, and so a contractor friend of the family offered me a job on his crew.  I learned a lot from the experience, as I worked there the next three summers, but frankly most of it had to do with how I was not well-suited to working in construction.

The primary lesson regarding my incompatibility with construction had to do with the fact that didn't, and I still don't, do well working in the elements.  I recall one specific roof that we worked on on a day that was closer to 110 °F than 100 °F.  The sun was unrelenting, and it sapped the energy from the body as we did anything.  One of the guys in the crew who took a lot of pride in his work ethic got wobbly at one point, and had to take a long break in the shade on the ground.  It was impossible to do anything for more than a couple of minutes without downing a huge gulp of water, because we were sweating it out faster than it could be drunk.  I distinctly remember riding home from that job thinking that I clearly cannot do this for the rest of my life.

As bad as hot days were, the cold days were worse.  We didn't work many cold days, but I would help on random jobs in the spring or autumn.  I remember siding a house on a breezy October day wondering why anyone would put themselves through that.  At some point I couldn't reliably use my hands because they were too numb.  I cannot imagine how someone working construction outside on a winter day must feel.

I think about these situations a lot on days that are very hot or cold.  I am fortunate to have the opportunity to work in an office setting with a controlled climate.  That fact alone is worth the effort and expense I put into my education, and I am fortunate enough to know that I am fortunate.

A secondary lesson I received from that job was the fact that I realized that I am a klutz.  I have to have a job away from dangerous equipment, because otherwise I'll eventually hurt myself or someone else badly.  In the short time I was there I was able to observe that I got more cuts and bruises than the rest of the crew.  I have at least one scar from that period of time in my life, and I was fortunate it was as minor as it was.  I understood very quickly that it was only a matter of time before something very bad happened.  This was compounded with the fact that I took more chances on scaffolding than I probably should have.  My boss confessed to my parents once about watching me nervously on a scaffold, I assume it was from concern that I'd take a misstep from two stories up.

I didn't really need extra motivation to stay in school.  There was no chance of me quitting once I started, and it's the setting where I've always done best.  However, having a job like that, which I worked even through my freshman year in college, provided quite a bit of clarity regarding the sort of life I did not want to have, and the choices I needed to make to keep from going down that path.  There are probably a lot of people who don't have that opportunity, and they make life decisions without that same clarity.  I can now, twenty years after the fact, say that this clarity was a blessing.

fruits and vegetables

I know I have to be getting irritating to those around me all I talk about food nowadays, but the last year has represented a huge shift in how I think about food so it's frequently on my mind.  Believe it or not, this is keeping my thoughts on the matter short.

I have completely changed how I think about American healthcare system and the causes of disease and chronic health problems. When I talk about weight loss with other folks a lot of them comment about being hungry all of the time when they're on a diet. That was historically the primary thing that kept me from watching what I ate. I had that a little when I started watching what I eat, but once I started eating fruits and vegetables in significant quantities to where I was getting 30 to 40 grams of fiber a day that was rarely a problem. The only days that I get hungry are when I eat too much red meat, breads, or sweets and run out of calories by the end of the day.

Because of my experience, I'm realizing that one major factor that is driving health issues in the United States is simply access to fresh produce. When I visited a General Dollar near my in-laws a few months ago I was struck by two things. First, food there is very reasonably priced.  Second, there is very little produce. If that was my nearest shopping option and my transportation was limited I would have to go out of my way to get the amount of fiber that I now try to consume. I'd probably have to mostly eat beans. Without knowing any better, which I didn't until very recently, I am certain my health would be negatively affected, and I wouldn't really know why other that to blame myself for snacking too much or not exercising enough.

I don't know what the solution to this problem is. Some people say that national policy should be changed to encourage farmers to grow healthier crops, or focus less on red meat production, or whatever. There are a host of potential consequences from that, and there is debate as to how effective it would be anyway, so I don't know what to think at this time. I suspect that agriculture policy could be tweaked to improve people's health, though.

I have also noticed that some fast food places have made it easier than others to get a low calorie option from their menu than others.While healthy fast food is an oxymoron, I have noticed some fast food places providing reasonable alternatives to fries in their combo meals. However, if your primary local options are Burger King and KFC, it's going to be difficult to stay on a calorie budget with a combo meal.

I'll just conclude with the thought that I'm realizing how extremely fortunate I am. I have been able to adjust my diet in a reasonably affordable way because I have access to healthy foods. I also don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, and I've grown to really enjoy many of snack foods I now have available at home. There are a lot of people in food deserts who can't afford healthy, satisfying foods.

soft drinks

It's weird to me that, as I am shifting away from drinking soft drinks, I am seeing that I am not the only one doing so.

Growing up, my family drank some soft drinks, but limited our intake far more than other families around us.  I have a distinct memory of going to a restaurant, our whole family ordering milk, and the waitress commenting how we must be a health-nut family.  I was so embarrassed because I felt that drinking soft drinks was what normal or even cool people did.  At a younger age I understood that soft drinks were unhealthy, but I did not see any correlation between the people who drank soft drinks and their health.  The athletic kids didn't avoid sugary drinks so there was a disconnect between what I "knew" and what I saw.

Through college and early adulthood I didn't binge on soft drinks, but I didn't hold back either.  They were included in the lunch plan in the school cafeteria, they were a cheap treat at home, and I could get them free at work.  In the years after college I gained quite a bit of weight, but I started very skinny and my vitals on my doctor visits in my twenties were always fine.  So, why not get refills on my Coke or Pepsi when out to dinner?

I've already gone through a phase where I limited my soft drinks but still drank more than I should.  I also went through a phase where I drank Diet Pepsi for a while.  I never thought that I would be in my current state, though, where I might have a can of some soft drink every two weeks to a month.  We don't even buy soft drinks in our house any more unless we're having company, which an earlier version of myself would have found insane.

In our office we get drinks stocked by what people want and actually drink.  We used to fly through Coke, Pepsi, and root beer, but people in the office don't drink it in any volume any more.  As of late this means that we get a lot of Le Croix and Diet Mt. Dew.  I don't drink a lot of the La Croix and I don't even like regular Mt. Dew (let alone the diet version), however I have zero complaints about what is stocked because I wouldn't drink the regular soft drinks even if they were available.

These trends are occurring nationwide as well.  Coke and Pepsi are relying more on their diet soft drinks and other alternatives to their traditional soft drinks to drive profit.  This is odd to me because I grew up thinking of drinking soft drinks as the normal and cool thing to do, and now it's more cool to order flavored seltzer.

All of this is probably a good thing.  Seltzer has to be more healthy than cola.  I'm just struck by how things change for me and for society at large, over something as pervasive as what we regularly drink.

brain health

This past year I have been devoted to improving my health, especially as it relates to my cholesterol level.  In a not-so-humble brag, I was able to bring my overall cholesterol down 68 points (and, less importantly, lose 42 pounds) in just over a year's time, so the effort has not been in vain.  Given this new focus and my increasing age, I am starting to think more about how my lifestyle now will affect my quality of life when I am older and how it will affect how long I live.

One concern that I've had for a while is that there's Alzheimer's in my family.  My grandfather on my mom's side had it, and his mother probably had it as well.  While my dad's side of the family is clear of the disease, I take after my maternal grandfather in a lot of respects, so it would make sense that I get this risk factor from him.  This makes the following video hit close to home.


I've gotten the cardio-vascular health issue under control for now, for the first time in my life, and I am actively attempting to learn new things at a far greater volume than I have in past years.  This is the good news for me.  There are other risk factors I haven't addressed, though.  Specifically, I've got downright horrible sleeping habits, and I allow stress to get to me more than I should.  Since my last step toward being healthy in my old age was addressing eating and exercising habits, sleeping and stress habits are the next logical step.

I have always had trouble going to sleep on a good schedule.  Part of that has to be genetic, but part of it stems from the observation I've made about how I handle stress.  I figure I'll need to address how I handle stress if I'm to crack the code of sleeping properly, so that's priority #1 for me now.

So, my question to everyone else out there is what do you do to manage stress, and do you find you get enough sleep during the week?  Do you have any helpful strategies you follow to manage that?

everlasting deodorant

A while back--around fifteen months to be exact--Golden bought me a two-pack of deodorant. This isn't ground-shaking news, but I've long believed that my deodorant lasts longer than usual, so I decided to keep track of precisely how long it actually takes me to use up a typical stick of deodorant. The last stick I used lasted from mid-October, 2016, to this past Sunday (January 14, 2018).  I thought it took a year-and-a-half for me to get through a stick, but fifteen months is still pretty close.

I started to think that maybe everyone's deodorant habits are like mine.  However, a quick online search returned people in forums stating their stick would last anywhere from one to six months.  That immediately makes me second-guess whether I'm a walking case of B.O., but I really don't think I am.

I think the reason I use less is the same reason I don't wear cologne.  I find the scent overpowering, so I am sparing in my deodorant use.  My sense of smell is a bit more sensitive than average, so I consciously try to avoid adding too much strong scent to my person.

I'd ask how long everyone else's deodorant lasts, but that might be too personal of a question.  So, I'll ask a related question instead.  Does fifteen months for a stick of deodorant seem excessive, or about right?

fiber

When thinking about today's topic, my mind keeps going to the old SNL skit below.

When I started watching my calories this past March I very purposefully avoided putting too many rules in place.  I figured if I started trying to manage carbs, or sugar, or anything else I'd eventually give up.  So, I kept it to simply managing calories, and that was a very effective approach for me in cutting weight.

In the course of managing my calories I noticed a side benefit to this as well that minor digestion issues that regularly flared up for me largely died down.  Over time, I have concluded that this is because my fiber intake has increased some as I've started eating more low-calorie fruits and vegetables.

This confused me a little since the way fiber helped me seemed to be the opposite of what it's reputation is.  I was visiting the bathroom less frequently rather than more.  The jokes I had always heard were always about how fiber kept you chained to the toilet.

With this evidence behind me and having learned about some of the purported benefits of a high fiber diet I decided a few weeks ago that I would increase my fiber intake.  If increasing my fiber intake a little helped out my digestion increasing it a lot would make it even better, right!?

WOW, have I learned a life lesson!  Specifically, it is not wise to increase your fiber intake between 50% and 75% overnight.  The body has to adjust to this new way of life.  Fiber has to be stepped up gradually.  The problem is, this is hard to do.  Too much fiber produces just so much gas (Sorry for that detail!), but too little fiber will not adjust my body to being able to handle the volume of fiber I need to have in my diet.  Furthermore, it's not always easy to know whether I've properly hit my fiber target.

So, I'm hopefully at the tail end of this adjustment period.  Having gone through this, I really don't ever want to fall off the fiber wagon because it'll be painful getting back on.

actually healthier dust

Sorry for the length of this post.  My health routine has sort of taken over my life, so there's a lot I want to report.  No one is under any obligation to read this entire thing.

As should be obvious, I have had the longest hiatus from posting to this blog since I opened it.  This wasn't intentional, but was a direct result of my exercise routine and church teaching prep cutting into the spare time I would have had to post.

I did want to report back in on how my healthier lifestyle is progressing.

When I started this exercise routine I wasn't extremely excited about it because I had real doubts that I would be able to stick with it, and to me it was worse to start and give up than not to start at all.  I still have those concerns because it's an extraordinary challenge to squeeze my routine in, but I have stuck with it.  I don't know if I'll be still doing this in a few years, but my mindset right now is that nothing I'm doing now is worth it if I don't stick with it over the long haul.

One thing that changed since I last posted is that I did actually start watching what I eat.  I didn't at first because I didn't want to commit to more than I could stick to.  However, in March I determined to try modifying my diet because I felt like if I'm already exercising hard I should do what I can to see good and more speedy results.  I started using the app Lose It! to keep track of what I eat, and I've been a real stickler to keep on top of it.  This has actually helped me stick with the exercise routine because it's undeniable now that there's a benefit to what I'm doing.

At this point, the benefit I can see is having lost about 35 pounds and somewhere between three and four inches of belly fat (belly-button level).  My body fat levels have gone from somewhere in the 25% to 28% range to 20% or 21%.  I know my VO2Max (how much oxygen your lungs can take in) is improved too because I can breathe better when exercising, but I don't know how to measure that.  All of this is gravy (hmmmmm... gravy), however.  My real goal is to lower my triglycerides and LDL cholesterol, and I won't have a reading on those until my next annual doctor's appointment in January.

I've had a few observations along the way.

• Most of the diet challenge was finding foods I'm happy to regularly snack on at night.  For now I've settled on a rotation of apples, celery, pickles, oranges, and carrot sticks.  I'm convinced that this is the change that has effected my health the most.
• Early on, I'd occasionally still be hungry come time to go to bed, but I rarely am any more.
• I still snack on cereal and cheese and crackers occasionally.  The difference is that it is more sparing, and I'm careful to limit the amount of milk I swallow with the cereal.  I remember my great aunt telling me that I should use all of the milk that I poured into my cereal when I was a kid, but I believe now that advice made more sense when she was a child during the Great Depression than it does today.
• I used to make peanut butter and jelly regularly just because it was easy.  I very rarely do that any more because it's a high-calorie food.
• If I'm ahead in my calorie count for the day, I absolutely splurge on some food I'm craving.  There are two reasons for this.  One is that eating too few calories negatively affects metabolism.  The other is that there's a great psychological benefit to being able to regularly eat higher calorie foods when I'm ahead for the day.
• I track calories because those are quantifiable, but I'm coming to believe the calories matter less than that I'm eating more fruits and non-starchy vegetables.
• I personally avoid diet and fat-free foods and beverages.  I used to drink Diet Pepsi, so I cast no judgment on those who use those.  In fact, if you like the taste it might make sense.  Whatever research I've been able to find on those products has made me doubt that diet and fat-free foods are beneficial, however.
• My weight loss has been reasonably steady at around a pound a week (maybe a little more) throughout this whole process.  Everything I'm reading indicates that you don't want to lose more than two pounds a week.
• Just in the last few weeks I've started watching videos from NutritionFacts.org.  They basically just walk through what the research says about different dietary habits, and it's extremely interesting.  I'd recommend it for anyone who's interested in improving their health through (possibly minor) dietary changes, such as consuming a few more nuts a day or eating brown rather than white rice.
• I never dreamed I'd be the sort to look into supplements because that's the world of snake oil salesmen and bodybuilders.  In fact some research indicates that vitamin supplements have a negative affect on peoples' health.  However, I just ordered creatine supplements for the first time because the effects that specific supplement has on the body align with my personal health goals (namely, I'm targeting18%-ish body fat).  It's a whole new world for me.
• Even after exercising for this long it's still obvious that my body has not been gifted with endurance or the ability to get a runner's high.  Maybe it's because running is not part of my routine?
• I'm actually amazed at the number of minor things that these life changes have helped with (example), and I've also discovered some things that I didn't realize were an issue that I still need to put a plan together to address.
• I have never once exercised in a gym, and I don't ever expect to have a gym membership because I don't have time to go.  If my exercising relied on me going to the gym, I wouldn't exercise at all.  Everything I'm doing right now is from a FitnessBlender YouTube video in my living room.

So, lest anyone make the mistake of thinking I'm doing anything extraordinary, the following is the routine I've been doing.

When I first started out I was very out of shape, so I just rotated through the following routines, exercising five or six times a week until I started seeing some improvements.  Mind you, they felt very slow in coming, but I did start to see them after a few weeks.

Then, I started working in some resistance exercises into my routine because I had read that it was important to have a mix of cardio and resistance to lower LDL cholesterol.

As I improved I slowly started working in more challenging and/or targeted routines and dropping old routines.  Right now I have a five-day rotation that I typically go through in a week.

Day 1: Abs/Core (The hardest of all days)

Day 2: Tabata Style HIIT Aerobics

Day 3: Arms and Legs

Day 4: Beginner HIIT Aerobics

Day 5: Total Body Workout

I'm constantly reassessing this, so there will be changes in the future.  I still have a lot of room for improving how challenging my cardio routines are, and I need to start stepping up my weights on "resistance" days.  For now this is what I'm doing, though: about 140 minutes of exercise a week plus some watching what I eat.

Golden sometimes joins me in my exercising as well.    Those are fun days.

new year, healthier dust

I inadvertently scheduled a physical in the last couple of weeks last year.  The timing was an accident, but it has led to a bit of an odd situation.

Every year I make a point of not making a New Year's resolution.  I know that most people break their resolutions (if they're even specific enough to break) before the end of January, and so making a New Year's resolution always feels to me like an impulsive or a showy move.  I know many people have great reasons for making resolutions, but for me to do it doesn't feel natural.

Since I went to the doctor's office and had the typical blood work done right before Christmas, I got a call over the Christmas holiday that my triglyceride and bad cholesterol levels were consistently elevated enough that I need to start exercising more regularly.  For me this means that I need to start exercising at all.

Golden's first reaction was that we should get a membership to the local community center and work out there.  My first reaction was thinking that I don't want to be one of those guys the regulars see as an annoyance who will give up in a few weeks.

What I have done so far is find a YouTube channel called FitnessBlender and start with some of their beginner routines.  It turns out my boss uses the same channel for some of his exercises, so I'm not the only person I know who uses the channel.  He's more active and healthier than me, though.  I've committed to doing twenty minutes of routines every day, even when I'm very busy.  This sounds great on the surface, but to this point I have primarily proven to myself that I am horribly out of shape because I have a hard time completing anything other than the beginner routines.

My short term goal is to get healthy enough to regularly complete the normal, not-beginner routines without too much trouble.  My medium term goal is simply not to gain more weight, and ideally trim some (five pounds in a few months would be great at this point).  That goal is more psychological than anything.  My long term goal is to not have given up on this endeavor in one, two, five, or ten years.

Thus far, I have not modified my eating habits because I don't want to make major changes all at once that are unsustainable.  To me, this whole thing is pointless if I don't keep this up over the long term.  We'll see how committed I can remain to this since it's now more directly a question of health rather than just clothing size.

to dye for

I almost posted this on Facebook, but it seemed more appropriate here. The following conversation occurred last week in our house.

Golden: "Should I look for hair dye for you, or do you think it's already too late and it will look too obvious?"

Me: *Loud Laughter*

From certain angles and in the right light it looks like I am going salt-and-pepper. I still have a few years to go before I will truly be salt-and-pepper, but I'll be there at a younger age than the average.

I'm actually not all that bothered about the idea of having some gray hairs. I've had random ones for years, and I don't think it harms a man's image much to be graying. Going very gray in my early thirties probably is not ideal, though.

So, the question is should I dye my hair at some point in the near future? Is it one of those things that once I start I have to keep up? Am I actually at the point where I need to be taking steps to make myself look younger rather than older? What's next? Eating right and exercising? The horrors.

workspace

I recently moved from my old office in the interior of the building to an office with an outside view. I have not really stopped to look outside during the day, but I wonder if just having the natural without paying much attention to it makes a health and mood difference. My moods are affected by the weather, so I suspect there's something to that.

For a while I actually wanted to keep my interior office largely due to familiarity and inertia, but on one specific day a few days before I found out that I would be moving I noticed that I felt very out of sorts for most of the day. I could not put my finger on it. I was a bit tired, but no more than typical and I did not feel sick. I suspected at least one factor was the lack of natural light. I have been in the office three years now without a day quite Ike that until now, though, so it could just have been some weird bug.

I would be interested in finding out if a study has been done on people who spend more time in the sun versus people who do not, and whether one group is more healthy than the rest or more happy than the rest when things like level of exercise is controlled. There has got to be something behind that.

to cure or not to cure

I have noted before that I have self-diagnosed protanopia color-blindness. Everything I have read or heard about colorblindness to this point has always emphasized that it is completely untreatable as well. I have never really seen (pun not intended but not avoided, either) this as a big deal. Since I have no clue what I am missing and there has been absolutely no possibility of my experiencing that which I have been missing, I haven't put a lot of thought into possible treatments. Apparently, through the wonders of medical science, I may actually have a possibility of experiencing real colors some time in the future.

I heard a story yesterday about a recently published study where researchers from the University of Washington were able to get two color-blind squirrel monkeys to differentiate reds and greens by injecting them with a virus containing the gene that is deficient in color-blind humans and all squirrel monkeys (story here and here). According to the reports the results took several weeks, but the are still able to see colors two years later.

At this point I am not sure how excited I should be. If this actually turns into a treatment, which I cannot imagine that it would not some time in the future, the question I would have is whether it is worth going through a procedure to fix my color-blindness. It probably would not be a horribly invasive procedure, but I would imagine it would at least initially be relatively expensive.

In college we had representatives of a deaf organization visit one of my classes and I was struck by what one of them noted about her condition. This is just a rough summary, but she said that if she had the choice she would still not choose to get her hearing back because being deaf was who she was. Obviously, deafness is far more impactful on a person's life than color-blindness, so that contrast in my mind does make getting my color-blindness addressed seem a bit more trite.

I can imagine a few valid reasons for having the procedure done. First, if I were ever in my life to consider a career change, it would open a lot more doors. Also, it would help to be able to differentiate colors when people use them to describe people or things (e.g. "Do you see that guy in the red jacket?"). Another consideration is that, since I already know what it is like to be color-blind, I think I would like to know what it is like to have normal vision. I am sure that there is some part of being able to see all of the visible spectrum that would add some unexpected value to my quality of life.

All of that said, I cannot imagine spending a large sum of money on something like this unless I could come up with a good rational reason why seeing a few extra colors is worth the expense. I would not hold back because due to some sense of self-identification with being color-blind, but I would hold back due to valuing other things for which I could use the money over the ability to differentiate a few extra colors. I might also have some concern about potential side effects for a procedure that impacts such an important area of the body.

So, some day in the years ahead I will probably get to decide whether I want to change the way I see the world. At that time I will have to determine if it is really worth it. It wouldn't be a surprise if I decided it wasn't.

self-diagnosis

I have mentioned on several occasions that I am OCD. Golden and I even joke that together we complete most of the OCD symptoms. It turns out that neither of these is completely true. While I have some mild quirks, such as preferring things in fours and preferring to not step on cracks in the sidewalk, those quirks do not come anywhere near causing me the disability that true OCD would cause. My mild tendencies do not really mess with my actual life on any level deeper than determining the number of chips I will pull out of a bag.

I think that I am like a lot of people, or at least a lot of Americans, in that I figure that everything that seems different from the norm about me must be a condition of some sort. I sometimes misread things so I have questioned whether I have dyslexia. I cannot go to sleep many nights, so that must be some sort of medically-caused insomnia. At one point I figured I had a good chance of having COPD because I was easily winded.

The truth of the matter is that I would guess that most people have little quirks that, if they analyzed them, would appear to point to some medical condition. I just happen to be the type of person to analyze my quirks. I wonder what condition could cause me to be that type of person?

frozen peas

I have debated whether to discuss today's topic at all because some people may be a bit uncomfortable with it. The option I have chosen is to discuss it delicately here and not mention it at all on Facebook. If the topic bothers you, just stop reading.

Today, I went to the doctor to take steps to not have any more kids. I figure most people can figure out what that means. A few things about the visit stick out.

First, there were a couple of guys in the office who had apparently ridden there together with the intention to have their procedures done at the same time. One guy was called, then the next was, then the first one came back to the waiting room when he was done and waited for the other. I think that I would sooner do this alone than with a friend.

Second, the doctor's office was way behind schedule today. When I was called from the waiting room the individual who took me to the room where the procedure would be performed apologized and made a comment implying that one of the procedures earlier in the morning had some complications. Had I been nervous about my procedure this would have probably disarmed me. It really didn't register high on my radar, though.

Next, the procedure was a bit more painful than I expected, but it was much shorter and the recovery has been much better than I expected. I'll leave it at that.

Also, I determined today that pretty much my entire sense of modesty is culturally derived. I expected to be more uncomfortable with the level of exposure the procedure involves. I really wasn't. That probably sounds more disturbing than it needs to sound. I don't intend to become an exhibitionist any time soon.

Finally, the doctor recommended using an ice pack for a day, but Dash has noted many times that frozen peas are effective. I am thankful for this advice. I don't know if I will be psychologically able to force myself to eat peas for a few weeks now, but they work for this tertiary purpose.

put a cap on it

I understand most common etiquette. Generally, it's a good thing, because it allows for interaction between people who might not be able to do so otherwise. It also is a means of shielding your true feelings about a situation, which I have heard lauded and denounced. I think etiquette is generally motr og a good thing a bad thing. There are some individual manners issues that I simply don't understand, though.

Two issues I have already discussed are holding the door open for others and tipping. In both of these cases the issue is that the standards for how to deal with those situations are not standard enough. Today's issue is wearing hats indoors, which is more an issue of me not knowing why it matters.

My hair has a very peculiar nature. If I get within a few feet of a hat it spontaneously gets hat head. It could take the form of a yamaka shaped ring on my head or it could take the form of an Alfalfa-type tuft of hair sticking up for the world to see. In some cases what about my hear has changed is not immediately obvious, to me at least, except that something in general just doesn't look right.

There is actually video of me at my college graduation that perfectly illustrates what I am describing. When I put my mortarboard on I knew something was not quite right, but I did not figure that it mattered. However, at some point during the ceremony there was a prayer where the men were expected to remove their mortarboards. At that moment my mom focused the camcorder on my head. There was one tuft of hair that was pointing the wrong direction and it seriously looks like I had a bald spot there in the video.

Because I am so prone to hat head, I have long avoided wearing any kind of hat. There is no use putting one on if I am going to have to take it off indoors and have everyone find out what my hair decided to look like today. Really, in the last fifteen years I have only worn hats with any frequency in two specific situations. The first was to minimize sunburn when I worked for a general contractor in high school and the second has been to keep from freezing when scraping off my car on frosty or snowy mornings.

If hats were not considered a faux pas for men to wear indoors, I might sport one more often. For example, in the winter I could wear a functional hat outside, like a tuque, and I could wear a less sweltering and more stylish hat indoors to hide the hat head, like a fedora. I know that I would be more likely to wear a cap in the summer months as well if I didn't think I was violating some social rule by wearing it indoors. As it is, I don't own any baseball caps that I am aware of because I wouldn't wear them.

I should look at the positive side of things, though. This rule in etiquette is saving me all of the money that I would otherwise be spending on caps and fedoras. Some day I really should calculate how much I would have saved by not buying hats and invest it in a company that makes head gear. If nothing else, it's would be something mildly interesting to talk about.

sawing logs

Maybe a month or two ago Golden pointed out something that NJ does on occasion. He will grab his blanket, lie down with his head on his pillow, and make snorting noises. Since I am the only one in the house who regularly snores, we think he is imitating me. This is backed up by the fact that if I make a snorting noise around him he immediately identifies it as, "Daddy."

I don't know how loudly I snore because Golden hasn't complained about it. I know that I do snore, though. It was one of those things that was unavoidable. My dad snores and a lot of people on my mom's side of the family snore as well. It would have been noteworthy had I not become a snorer.

It's funny that NJ points out my snoring because I actually heard NJ snoring ever so softly last night, so he will probably have the same issue in when he is older. I assume I was hearing NJ snore. I don't know what other sound a toddler could make that would sound like that. I guess that not all heavy breathing during sleep is snoring.

I have figured for a while that I'll probably eventually get that surgery where the uvula is cut off if it starts bothering Golden and if the cost isn't a real hardship. The idea of the surgery is a little bothersome, though, because I think I would miss my uvula. Why, I don't know. I just get the feeling that I would.

That's probably a ways into the future, though. I don't think Golden is losing sleep over it yet. If she is, she hasn't mentioned it to me yet.

odd tastes

There are certain foods that I simply do not like. Of the foods that I do not like, most do not fit into the category of foods that I do not like due to some repressed memory that manifests itself in a gag reflex. Most I genuinely distaste because of the flavor, texture, or some combination of the two. These include most forms of fish, squash, and liver, among other things. Why it is that I naturally don't like the foods while there are people who absolutely crave them, though, I don't know.

Why is it that food tastes are not universal? I like tastes such as coffee, dill pickles, and spinach but many other people do not. In my mind it would make more sense if everyone in the world had roughly the same tastes rather than the wide variety of tastes that exist. I assume that the human tongue and nose are pretty standard in how they operate, so I would think this would lead to stronger standards as to what foods taste good or bad.

I think most people also have foods that they have disliked for psychological reasons at one time or another as well. This makes sense to me. I just do not understand the difference between the physical repulsion and craving that different people can have for the same foods.

If I were somehow transported into someone else's body would I acquire that person's tastes? Do different food flavors taste different to different people? Do certain cravings indicate a lack of specific nutrients?

I have said in the past that I eat because I am hungry rather than for a food experience. This is mostly true, but not completely. There are foods that seem to release more endorphins in me than others, like a Chipotle fajita or one of those miniature chocolate doughnuts. Does everyone have a list of foods that essentially performs the same function?

Now that I have typed this and started thinking about the foods I like, I can't think too clearly. All I can think about is that I'm getting hungry.

something lighthearted

Every topic I can think of lately is either dull or deep. That is a problem because a person can only take so much of that. Here are a few random lighthearted thoughts off the top of my head.

Golden and I are expecting to find out the sex of our new baby today. She will probably post that information before I do, unless I just add it as a comment to this post.

I never realized how much kids can talk without using real words. NJ will talk for extended periods of time and I know that he is genuinely trying to rely information to me, but I can't decipher most of what he says. There are random words I recognize, but the words I pick out represent so little of everything that he is saying. How much of his conversation is real and what is he actually talking about?

There is very little that is more enjoyable than sleeping in. Everyone knows I feel this way. I have taken the opportunity to sleep in since I am not at work this week. Does anyone else get a weird feeling that his or her brain has not fully turned on for a couple hours after waking up late? I get this all of the time, but it is the most strong for me when I sleep in.

I'll never understand people who drive slow in the passing lane. The passing lane is for passing.

Our house has felt overrun by bugs in the last month or two. I have seen more insects inside the house this year compared to every other year we have lived here. I am seriously considering a call to the exterminator, but I don't know if most exterminators have simple, spray around to discourage bugs from coming inside rates.

This is my first post that is automatically posted. If all goes well, it should post while I am still happily asleep at the moment that this is posted. The very thought brings a contented smile to my face.

breakable

In the opening scenes of the movie Unbreakable Bruce Willis' character realizes as an adult that he has never been sick a day in his life. While it is entirely unrealistic even in a comic book world that someone could be an adult before noticing that they don't get common illnesses or injuries, the concept has stuck with me. Some people just don't get sick nearly as often as others.

I developed flu-like symptoms last Friday night and, though I have started to get past them, some of the symptoms are still lingering. This is uncommon for me, though. I haven't been genuinely sick, meaning sick enough to miss work, more than a handful of times in the past five years. At least two of the times I was "sick" it was not an illness, per se, but related to the gall bladder problems I was having. This time around I didn't even miss work because the time when I felt the sickest occurred over the weekend.

While I certainly have been known to get sick, and allergies in particular get me worse than the average person, I don't think that I get sick nearly as frequently as is typical. I could be wrong. I could just be more willing to go to work when I am feeling questionable, so I just notice that other people take more sick days. I know that some take sick days when they are not sick. I think I have accounted for this, though. It seems to me that others in my life, like Golden, are sick more frequently than I am.

So as I cough and wheeze and try to get past this last bug, I have to be happy that I am as healthy as I am. If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.