do not call list

One Remaining Number Not on "Do Not Call" List

AYNOR, SOUTH CAROLINA, January 11, 2007 (OTB)--Telemarketers are annoying. Telemarketers are evil. Telemarketers are out to get consumers' every last cent. Just don't tell that to 83-year-old Ellen Carmichael, whose home phone number is the only remaining landline number in America not yet added to the Federal Trade Commission's "Do not call" list. "I considered adding my name to the list because everyone else in my bridge club was doing it," Carmichael remembered, "but I couldn't give up the pleasant interactions I have with those wonderful people every day."

Carmichael pays for all the items she purchases with the proceeds she received selling her late husband's quarrying business. "Ronald would have preferred it this way," noted Carmichael. "He left me more money than I can use, so I like to think all the nice telemarketers who call me so frequently can really do more with it. Plus, I'm not as lonesome as I was right after he passed when I am answering the phone every ten minutes."

Since Carmichael is now the only consumer they can call, the remaining major telemarketing firms have had to plan calls around each other's and her schedule. Darling Brothers Telemarketing, based in Orono, Maine, gets the first two-and-a-half hours of Ellen's day starting at six in the morning. After a half hour delay phone representatives from Best 4 Less Telemarketing, based in Sandpoint, Idaho, call Ellen for the next two-and-a-half hours. This pattern is repeated throughout her day.

While selling products to a woman who will buy anything sounds like an easy task, it is not without risks. "We had to shut down operations for two weeks when some [idiot] from Specialty Telemarketing sold her a ten day cruise," recalled Tom Howtzer, director of sales with Darling Brothers. "I'm sure he made a good commission, but he put us out of commission for a while." That incident was one of the motivating factors for an agreement signed by the telemarketing firms that have reserved the right to call Carmichael, known as the Carmichael Five.

Now, per contractual agreement, only products that all the firms in question approve as not likely to keep Carmichael away from the phone may be sold to her. She may not be peddled vacation packages, cars, or satellite television service.

Ellen is not going to live forever, and this is not lost on the Carmichael Five. "We know we have to find someone else like Ellen who is willing to be removed from the 'Do not call' list," remarked Howtzer flatly when the subject was mentioned. "I don't want to say too much, but we believe we have inside information on a wealthy 62-year-old widow whose son added her to the list against her wishes. If we can get her removed from the list, we can double operations."

Even when presented with the negative, the Carmichael Five try to stay positive. Of course, that's their call.