a night out

The past few days have been all about NJ and the grandparents. On Thursday the bulk of the day was spent sitting in the living room or a restaurant talking with my parents about him. Friday was spent at his great-grandmother's house where some more family got to see him (including his great-great-grandmother who couldn't remember my name :)... ).

Tonight, though, my parents agreed to take care of the baby while Golden and I went to see a movie. We picked Lady in the Water because it was a full forty minutes shorter than Superman or Pirates of the Caribbean: We Just Like Extremely Long Movie Titles. We knew that NJ wouldn't deal well for an extended time without mommy.

When we arrived we discussed it and could not remember the last time just the two of us have gone to the theater. It does feel like a special treat when you haven't done that sort of thing a lot.

The movie itself is entertaining, but if you are looking for certain things in the storyline you may be disappointed. First, it does not have a typical M. Night Shyamalan ending. Second, the process of how the story is laid out is very different than is standard. Third, there are a ton of characters to keep straight. Fourth, it was forgivably hokey at points. It was worth seeing, though.

As we were getting in the car to drive home my dad called and asked if Golden minded if they fed NJ some formula. NJ had eaten more than expected, and he was unhappy at the idea of waiting for more food. We hurried home and everything turned out alright.

After a night like tonight I have but one question on my mind. Will we get to see a movie together again before Shyamalan puts together another film? I certainly hope so.

twenty-seven

Age: It's what separates the men from the boys.

Today is my 27th birthday. Given that it is also July 27th, this is officially the only day in my life that I turn the same age as my birth date. It's all downhill from here.

As I have gotten older I have observed several things about personalities at different ages. One of the things that has stuck out the most to me is that people really don't change as they get older. Let me explain what I mean.

Generally speaking, if you surround yourself with people who have a certain type of personality when you are in high school, you'll do the same after you graduate. If you let someone else determine your tastes in music, fashion, or anything else, you will probably continue letting others influence you. If you are in a popular or unpopular crowd at school age, you will probably stick with a similar type of crowd as an adult.

I used to think that adults were more or less impervious to peer pressure. That was before I had fully thought through the situation. I thought that since senior citizens aren't generally up on the latest trends that they must not care what others think. I found out this was wrong when I made the obvious observation that they were not being influenced by what was cool right now, but rather what the people they hung out with considered normal or cool. Sure, pulling your pants up to your armpits may not be the in look right now, but if all of a seventy-year-old man's closest friends wear clothes like that, he'll fit in to do that too.

Bringing this a bit closer to home, at twenty-seven I don't feel any less susceptible to peer pressure today than I did ten years ago. It's just that now most of my peers are in their thirties with kids.

So, the next time I am tempted to think about how easily manipulated teenagers are to what happens to be hot right now, I will try to remember that I'm probably not any different. Maybe I should work on that this year.

cleaning... again

My parents show up today to see NJ for the first time. This can mean only one thing: The majority of the day will be spent cleaning. I already know that the yard needs mowed, beds need prepared, items around the house need picked up, and several errands need run. There are probably several other chores that I am not even aware of that I need to work on as well.

What I can't figure out is how the house degenerates so quickly. It seems that every weekend (and now in the middle of the week), there have been a ton of chores that need done. How is it that two adults and one baby can mess up a house so quickly?

When I go through areas that were cleaned a few short days ago I have to ask whether cleaning was even worth it. The jury is still out on that one.

blurkers

A blurker is a blog lurker. Basically, it is someone who reads a blog but leaves no evidence that he or she has been there.

Sometimes when I post I think of myself as having an audience equivalent to the number of people who will comment on that specific post, which tends to be between three and six people. I sometimes forget that other people read this site on occasion as well. I was discussing this with my sister, who sometimes comments on this site, and she was pointing out that she tends to lurk rather than post on the site.

I think I have a few actual blurkers on this site who don't ever post, but I don't really know how many. I am actually curious as to whether my pastor read this every once in a while because I haven't been asked to pray in church after this post. (I don't really mind. It was just humorous because I am not spectacular at public prayer.) It makes me wonder what sort of things I should attempt to post, though.

I have always had the philosophy that I should write with my audience in mind. If I don't know who my audience is, how can I consider them? So, I am not trying to force anyone out of the darkness, but don't be afraid to comment if you want to. If you don't have anything relevant to say, that makes at least two of us.

dust sampler

I don't have many big cohesive thoughts this weekend, so this is just a sampling of little ones.

First and foremost, I have been thinking about the responsibility of taking care of NJ. I am very glad we had him, but I am even more glad that we had him now rather than earlier in life. The level of commitment from a time and money perspective is significant enough that I know I wouldn't have been ready for this even a year ago. I think I am ready now.

I can think back through all the times when people told me that you shouldn't wait until you can afford kids, because you can never afford kids. I kind of agree with that with the caveat that you shouldn't completely abandon all common sense. We actually didn't wait until we could afford kids, but a few things in our finances have lined up in the past six months or so that NJ won't break the bank, though Golden will still need to work for a while. Given that I don't really have a bad job and our house payment is lower than average, I don't know how people who make much less than me do it.

On a related note, we'll never be able to afford the time NJ requires. :)

Next, my parents are visiting us next week so we can have NJ dedicated on the July 30. This is only the second time they will have seen my house (and obviously the first time they will see NJ). The last time they were able to visit us in KC was three years ago.

Also, I've seen three movies in the past couple of days. Two were duds and one was pretty good. I wasn't that impressed with Domino or Carrie. It wasn't that they were particularly bad movies, but the elements that some might find appealing were wasted on me. However, the 1954 French version of Diabolique was very entertaining. It was one of the first plot twist movies made, and Golden said was the scariest she has seen since she watched What Lies Beneath six years ago. I was concerned that the subtitles would detract from the movie, but in this case the story was strong and intelligent enough that the subtitles weren't a big deal. The movie actually concluded with text requesting the audience to not spoil the ending for their friends.

Finally, a couple of people I didn't know real well struck up conversations with me today. First, I was outside when the mailman came by, so he stopped and talked about how nice it is now that the heat has died down some. I like our mailman, so I enjoyed this conversation. Someone else started griping to me at the gas station a little later, though, that he couldn't believe he has to pay for gas before pumping it. He started with, "This isn't Iran, is it? These people act like they can't trust American citizens any more." I pointed out that since I pay at the pump that policy doesn't affect me as much. Then I heard about how people put too many purchases on plastic nowadays. Sigh.

I have a new idea, though. I think I'll start commenting to posts before reading them. That way everyone will know that I am not trying to fill up on their stories without providing the proper textual payment.

canada secedes from union

Canada Secedes from the Union

WASHINGTON, July 20, 2006 (OTB)--In a move that is sure to heighten tensions between Washington and Ottawa, President Bush and an array of congressmen and women from both major parties accused Canada of attempting to secede from the United States, or at least attempting to avoid contributing its fair share to the federal government's bottom line.

"I was looking through the Federal Treasury's account history online," commented Bush, "and I noticed that there is not one entry that indicates a citizen from Canada has ever contributed taxes to the federal government. Citizens from all states except West Virginia are supposed to at least do that." Bush was making a reference to the fact that no one in West Virginia with the exception of a few government employees is actually employed, so citizens of the state are exempt from making federal tax payments.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada assured reporters in a press conference this morning that a bipartisan task force was investigating the government's options. "If the allegations that President Bush has made are true, then both Democrats and Republicans feel the American people have a right to know why Canada has refused to pony up their tax obligations. This is one area where we share common ground."

Leaders from both parties agreed that such actions constituted an attempt to secede from the United States and could lead to an invasion of Canada and a second civil war. A statement signed by both Dennis Hastert, the Speaker of the House, and Nancy Pelosi, the House Minority Leader, supported this position. "If left with no choice, the United States must not shrink from the duty of taking decisive action to ensure the stability of the Union."

Canada's Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, was visibly agitated when he heard the news of the actions in Washington. In a frustrated manner he blurted, "We are a separate country from the United States! Really! We have our own flag and our own anthem and everything!"

Few from south of the Canadian border are willing to accept the idea that Canada is a separate country, though. In a recent USA Today poll, a shocking ninety-three percent of Americans expressed the belief that Canada is the fifty-first state. Six percent claimed to have never heard of Canada. Just under one percent answered, "Pat Buchanan." The only U.S. President known to have acknowledged that Canada is not part of the United States was Bill Clinton, though that acknowledgement was in the late 1960s for reasons he claimed had, "absolutely nothing to do with Vietnam."

The only resistance expected to an invasion of the "Great Northern State" is a small grouping of left-leaning pacifist activists and right-leaning states' rights advocates. "Just because Canada no longer wants to be a part of the United States does not give us the right to attack them," stressed a blogger sympathetic to the pacifists' cause. "They should be allowed to do whatever they please. It's a free country and they should feel free to separate from it without the fear of being attacked." A comment from a reader of the site chimed in agreement with the encouragement, "The North will rise again!"

"Maybe I'll agree with that," retorted Bush upon hearing these opinions, "when Hell freezes over."

In related news, official weather reports predict Hell to be a balmy 1,374 degrees today.

fire and ice

Fire and Ice by Robert Frost:

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

When I first heard this poem in junior high or high school I thought it was a simple poem about an end of the world scenario. In college I was informed it was an comparison of passion and hatred. The poem does outright mention desire and hate, so I guess that makes sense. Part of me wishes I could hold onto the end of the world scenario, though.

There is something I find morbidly attractive about going through disaster scenarios. I think that I am not alone, because a large percentage of sci-fi and action films get most of their attraction from disaster portrayals. It is my understanding that even the Left Behind series caters to this desire. Not only that, a lot of the programming on the Discovery Channel, Science Channel, and other "educational" channels appeal to that part of me that wants to imagine the scope of large disasters.

The following are just some of the ways that I have heard that could end civilization (or damage it significantly) as we know it from some TV documentary.

• Supervolcano: To hear the documentaries tell it, you're a goner if you live anywhere within a few hundred miles of Yellowstone National Park. If the supervolcano that is there erupts, it could kill millions or billions and affect the world climate for years.
• Mega Tsunami: When the volcano in La Palma in the Canary Islands colapses, it's lights out for every city on the east coast from New York to Miami to Rio de Janeiro.
• Asteroid: A relatively small rock hitting Earth could doom us all either from actually being hit, or being scorched by debris heating up the atmosphere, or being frozen by a sort of nuclear winter, or the famine that will likely also result.

For me this is mostly for entertainment purposes. Even if it is the end of the world as we know it, I feel fine.

standoff

A few months ago I was shipped video of a show called Primary to review for a survey. At least it was called Primary at the time. I gave a generally positive review, though I decided that I probably wouldn't go out of my way to see the show. Perhaps you remember my writeup.

For the last few weeks I have been seeing commercials for a show that looks a lot like what I saw, but it is called Standoff instead. When Golden saw that she got a little excited and decided that she would have to watch it (even though it is on Fox :)... ).

There are two things that stuck out to me about the commercials. First, the new name is much better than the original. Second, all the scenes in the commercial are from the one episode that I saw.

I hadn't thought through the fact that maybe this was the only episode that had been created. I guess I figured with the expense that would have gone into making that first episode, maybe they would have at least started the process on further episodes. I think it's amazing that the entire fortunes of a show--whether it will ever see the light of day--are tied up in the quality of one pilot episode. I wonder how many potentially good shows have been canned due to a lousy pilot. I'm glad my job doesn't rely on something like that.

what are we running?

In taking care of NJ over the past couple of weeks I have noticed a couple of things.

First, we wrap NJ up so that he looks like he is in a straight jacket, then we place him in a padded bassinet to sleep. We also spend large percentages of the day consoling him to calm him down.

Second, NJ looks like an old man because he has no teeth and his hair in the front of his head is thinner, so it looks like he is balding. Also, he cannot perform any tasks on his own like eating, relieving himself, or moving from one room to the other.

I just have to ask myself, are we running an insane asylum or a retirement home? It has to be one or the other.

cold coffee

I have always liked coffee. I think that is because I was exposed to it as a kid by my dad and grandfather. I quickly became a kind of connoisseur of the coffee I liked. I say "kind of" because my tastes are much different from most people who call themselves coffee connoisseurs. I like regular Folgers and don't care for the stronger coffees that places like Starbucks tend to serve. In my experience, most people who claim to know anything about coffee frown on Folgers.

Like all coffee snobs one thing that I don't like is overheated coffee. Once it has been heated too long coffee tastes a bit too bitter. I used to think this taste caused my aversion to overly hot coffee. I have since determined that I simply like cold coffee more.

Just about every time I mention to someone else that I like cold coffee, I am informed that this sounds gross. Considering that coffee ice cream, frappuccinos, and some flavored drinks use a cold coffee flavor, though, I think I am not alone in my love for cold coffee.

I have been thinking lately about the fact that I like cold coffee, and it occurred to me that maybe I should prepare some for myself. So, I purchased two plastic containers and have been keeping chilled coffee in the refrigerator for the past couple of weeks. It is one of the best decisions I have ever made. Bean there. Doing that.

scheduling conflicts

Golden and I have learned a lot about taking care of a newborn in the last ten days. We can change his diaper without a second thought, we can distinguish what some of his cries mean, and we can even usually come up with ways to stop him from crying if we need to. What we haven't successfully done, though, is get NJ on a schedule that doesn't rob me of significant sleep.

NJ goes through what I think of as waves of sleep. He will sleep for a few hours, then he will be awake for about two hours. If the awake time starts between midnight and 2AM, then this messes with my sleep because this is when I am responsible to take care of the baby. After I go to sleep NJ is not capable of waking me, so Golden has been taking care of any issues after that point.

I know that we should be manipulating his awake time in the evening, but that can backfire. On Monday evening NJ was awake for most of the evening, then slept until 1AM and was up until after 3AM. If that is what happens when I manipulate his schedule, I don't know that I will really be helping things by stepping in.

Two nights ago, NJ robbed me of a lot of sleep. Last night NJ kept Golden awake most of the night. I hear that this phase of childhood is rather short, so I think we can tough our way through it. Otherwise, we might be investing in Children's Tylenol PM shortly.

nj

Today I am back at work for the first time in what seems like a lifetime. Since NJ was born Golden and I have been trying to get a routine down with NJ, and while I think it is kind of working, we still have work to do.

Also, I have been picking out little quirks that are either from Golden or from me. He sleeps like I do (meaning he can sleep through anything and wakes up real groggy). He has Golden's face shape. He has my chin and he has Golden's toes. He is more stubborn than either of us (must be a recessive gene). I am looking forward to seeing him develop and pick out more subtleties as they appear.

If you did not receive an email with a link to pictures of NJ and you want one, let me know. I don't have everyone's email address. I have included a small sampling of the pictures here.

This is the normal picture.
This is proof that NJ isn't always a perfect angel.I just thought this was a cool picture.

the super long baby post

There is a lot to write, and I know I won't get all of it, but a summary of the events of the past few days follows. Golden will probably post her thoughts as well a little later. Also, I have not had time to process any pictures that I have taken, so that is why no one has received any yet.

Saturday, July 1

Golden and I were both pretty frustrated on Saturday. She had already gone to the hospital twice, and her contractions were not very frequent on that day. We did receive a DVD-RW camcorder that we had ordered earlier in the week, but it was looking like that might be the only special delivery we would see in a while when we went to bed Saturday night.

Sunday, July 2

I should point out that only Golden really went to sleep on Saturday night. I dozed off Sunday morning around 2. At 4AM Golden woke me up and told me that her water had broke and she was having serious contractions.

We arrived at the hospital at 4:50, and had to go through the emergency room entrance for the second time in three days. Annoyingly, we had to call security to get into the main part of the hospital because the doors don't unlock until 5AM. If Golden's water had only broken ten minutes later... but I digress.

When we got to delivery room one of the nurses checked Golden and assessed that she was already dilated to ten centimeters. They paged the doctor on call (coincidentally, Golden's doctor) and she arrived to determine that Golden was actually only at four centimeters. Oops. This actually worked to our advantage as it gave Golden the opportunity to get an epidural and she progressed real fast to ten centimeters. It took maybe two and a half hours to get to that point.

The pushing labor was a little more difficult. At first, Golden progressed very quickly, and we saw the baby's head within twenty minutes (I say we because I was very actively involved in this process). For more than an hour after this Golden fought to get the baby out, and it took just about all she had, and NJ was born at 9:09 AM. He was six pounds, three ounces, and he was eighteen inches long.

Throughout the day I was struck by how well behaved little NJ was. He would cry, but only if something was truly wrong like his diaper needed to be changed or he wasn't properly swaddled.

BB and Wah Wah visited us later in the day and some comparisons were drawn between NJ and Woogy and Nibbles.

Monday, July 3

I slept in until 9AM. This was an accomplishment because I slept through countless visits from the pediatrician, nurses, someone to collect blood, the person bringing Golden her breakfast, etc. Golden was amazed at the vast numbers of people who came through our room throughout the day, even as early as 6AM. Someone came in to take her blood at that time, which caused her to be suspicious, because who would come through for blood at six in the morning?

I am convinced now that just about anyone could randomly walk into a maternity ward and do just about anything and the patients would assume that person is associated somehow with the hospital. The wide variety of people we saw over two days to discuss personal information or run very personal tests was amazing.

Dash and T visited us in the afternoon. T recalled being in labor with N and Dash recalled the seventeen fish he caught over the weekend.

Golden's parents arrived in town to see the baby and visited for about an hour and a half until Golden had to have some more personal tests run on her.

Tuesday, July 4

We spent the bulk of the morning getting ready to leave and waiting for the doctor to arrive to give the OK for Golden to be discharged.

There were two things that I had to do to make sure that we would be allowed to leave the hospital. First, I had to pay a deposit toward any extraneous expenses that insurance may not cover. Second, I had to make sure the base for the baby carrier was installed in my car. I would really like to know what the hospital does in situations where people genuinely do not have the means to afford either of these requirements. It is not like they can hold the babies there indefinitely.

We celebrated the fourth with Golden's parents and they went out and got us a bassinet for little NJ. We hadn't thought through the fact that he may not sleep in a crib in a different room from us very well.

Wednesday, July 5

Last night through this morning was a real challenge. NJ was either hungry or gassy for most of the night and cried more than he ever has in spurts until around 5:30AM. I got much more sleep than Golden, so I am feeling better than her today.

We've got years to figure out how to get NJ on a good sleep schedule, but I hope it doesn't really take that long.

ambivalent

One of the guys in my office has a word of the day tear-off calendar that contains a word, its definition, and its etymology. Some of the words I have heard of before, but not in relation to the definition provided. For example a mare is a dark area on the moon and lyric can be an adjective (and not just a noun) describing prose that is melodic. The most recent word that I thought I knew that came up was ambivalent.

I have always understood ambivalent to mean indifferent. I have two choices, but I am ambivalent about my options because I don't care all that much. This is inaccurate. To be ambivalent is to care strongly about both options or positions that are available. Ambivalent also describes my current condition pretty well.

Right now, Golden and I are in the middle of waiting for something to happen that will indicate that either she is in labor or she isn't. The signs have been strong in both directions for two days now. Throughout, I have been torn. If it is best for this process to go slowly, then that is what I want. However, I don't know how much more of this waiting game we can take.

As Golden pointed out, we were in the hospital for four to five hours Thursday night through Friday morning. Given the frequency and strength of her contractions, I figured that was proof that we were going to have June 30th baby. I was excited about the prospect, but bummed that I would be so very short on sleep when the event occurred. After they sent us home and I got some sleep I was still convinced the baby would arrive on the 30th because Golden still appeared to be in labor.

Now it is July 1, and no matter how much Golden walks or sits or sleeps or stays awake, we still don't have a clue when this is going to occur. She is having consistent contractions again like she had before which we are monitoring, but with as many false starts as we have had I just don't know what to think.

Hopefully, I will have better information the next time I update this site. The best news would be that we have a healthy baby boy. That is something that I am not ambivalent about.