cat's in the cradle

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today
I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
Said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, dad?
I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

- Jen Chapin ("Cat's in the Cradle")

The song "Cat's in the Cradle" has been on the rotation in my office building's Muzak, so I've heard the song a couple of times in the past weeks while in the bathroom.  I'll tell you, that's a hard song to listen to as a father.

I expect that everyone here has heard it before, but listening through the lyrics it's pretty heavy-handed.  I also understand that the song is from a different era, and I think that accounts for the image portrayed in the song.  There are certainly dads today who could be well-described by those lyrics, who really prioritize their job over their kids, but there are probably many more who feel like most decisions are trade-offs, and working a job is caring for the family.

Our two kids are now nine an eleven.  Our nine-year-old daughter loves to spend time with me, and I love spending time with her.  We read together, watch TV together, and sometimes get opportunities to talk.  I'm enjoying this now as much as I can because I know that I'm not guaranteed that the relationship won't change as she gets older.  When I know I have something that's going to keep me from home before her bedtime it saddens me because I know she enjoys our time together too.

Our son is eleven, and I spend what time I am able to with him.  However, like I did when I was younger, he values his alone time very much.  He has things he enjoys to do, but the natural father-son things like sports, board games, and Legos aren't on that list.  I try very hard to find things that will keep his attention that we can do together, and I try very hard to find good topics of conversation.  I feel that we've made recent progress, but it is a real challenge.  His natural tendency is to wander back to his room as he gets bored.

My schedule is also packed.  I tend to work late, I teach in church, I'm on the church board, I regularly meet with different folks in the church, and I do other random things that fill the calendar.  I have avoided work that involved travel, but I still frequently feel a tension between the importance of time with the family and time with my other responsibilities.

Probably the issue that I most have with the song that opened this post is that it's written from a mildly selfish point of view.  Spend time with your kids now, or it'll be your fault that they aren't around to meet your needs later when you want to spend time with them.  What most concerns me has less to do with those regrets and more to do with the fact that these are the kids' formative years.  Their perspectives of everything in the world are going to be based on a foundation of what they learn and experience now.  Their abilities or lack thereof later in life are being set based on what happens now.  How can a parent affect things when they can only be around so often?

rolling in the deep

In what appears to be an embarrassingly growing trend in me liking songs about women standing up to or wishing revenge on their exes (What's that about?), I'm finding that I'm somewhat drawn to Adele's ridiculously popular Rolling in the Deep.  The lyrics are not written for me at all, but for whatever reason I enjoy the song.



I have every reason to not like the song.  I think it's the anthem of a woman who does not understand the role she had in someone leaving her, so she wants to stew in revenge mode.  One line from the song, emphasized below, gives away the singer's mistaken perspective.

The scars of your love remind me of us,
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all.
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
I can't help feeling,

We could have had it all,
Rolling in the deep,
You had my heart inside your hand,
And you played it to the beat.

This hearkens back to something that I noted that I have learned in the time since being married.  Many phrases mean something completely different to a typical woman than a typical man.  In my opinion the "it all" that they "could have had" has almost no connection with whatever the guy who left her wanted in the relationship in the first place, and that is why he left her.  He didn't understand her and she didn't understand him.  She had some fantasy about the relationship that she assumed had meaning to him, but that he probably did not even know existed, and so things played out the way they do when two people don't understand each other because they're only concerned about fulfilling their own irrational fantasies.

I am torn on enjoying this song for this reason.  Vengeance fantasies feed off self-righteousness, and this song is definitely a revenge fantasy, but in this case it seems screamingly obvious that the self-righteousness is unfounded.  The woman isn't without the man because she is too good for him.  She is without him, can't figure out why, and feels self-superior because she is stuck in the mindset that her fantasies should have been their fantasies.

I think that a lot of the popularity for this song comes from the fact that a lot of people—while it would be women in this case men are just as guilty—see relationships as ways to meet their own fantasies without concern for the other person's needs.  When the other person either takes advantage of the him or her using the fantasy or breaks up recognizing how much effort the relationship is going to be, a song like this speaks to the person whose heart and fantasies have been broken.

This is probably too much thought to give to a pop song, isn't it?

the turkey butcher

In honor of the Thanksgiving holiday I present a poem my sister and I wrote for a creative writing assignment when she was in junior high and I was in in high school. It is a parody of the poem "The Village Blacksmith" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I'd encourage you to read the original before reading the parody because it makes more sense that way.

The Turkey Butcher

Under a spreading chestnut tree
The turkey butcher stands;
The butcher, a bloody man is he,
With red and calloused hands;
And the muscles of his scrawny arms
Are strong as rubber bands.

His nails are crisp, and black, and long,
His eyes are like the tan;
His hands are wet at the turkey’s debt,
He years to clean his hands;
The whole world looks him in the face,
He is a mental case, you understand.

Week in, week out, from morn till night,
You can hear his mallet blow,
You can hear him swing his heavy hand,
As he screams, “Yowwwwwwwww!:
Like an Angus ringing his old cow bell,
When the evening sun is low.

And children coming home from school
Looking at the open door;
They love to see the fatal hand,
And hear the turkeys roar,
And catch the feathers that fly,
Like the snow of the blizzard of 1624.

He goes on Sunday to the church,
And sits among the boys;
He hears the parson pray and preach,
He hears an angel turkey’s voice,
Singing with the village choir,
And it makes his heart rejoice.

It sounds to him like dinner’s voice,
Singing from Paradise!
He needs not think of it once more,
How in the pot it lies;
And with a hard rough hand he wipes
A tear out of his eyes.

Toiling, hungry, sorrowing,
Onward through life he goes;
Each morning he sees the turkeys come in,
By evening on a plate it goes;
Something attempted, something done,
Will this poem never close?

Thanks, thanks to thee my sort of worthy friend,
For listening when thou needed not!
Thus at the flaming oven of life
Our turkeys must be brought;
Thus on the butcher table shaped
Each cutting deed and thought.

permissive legalism

Legalistic people suck
Legalism makes me sick
I wonder what makes them tick?
I wanna go puke on it
Ephesians verse 2:8 states
God has saved us not by works but by grace
So what's it gonna take?
There's no getting through to you- MxPx ("I'm the Bad Guy")

I have never liked the lyrics above because being accusatory doesn't solve anything, but the words fit too well into my topic today not to post them.

Probably the biggest sticking point for whether the typical American accepts Christianity is their perception of sin. I struggled for a long time reconciling what I saw as legalistic and permissive passages in Scripture, as a lot of people do. I still do struggle with it a bit and I probably always will. I now believe I have a better understanding of why the dichotomy should not be between legalism and permissiveness, though. The dichotomy should be between legalism and commitment.

I have always believed, as I do now, that legalism is the process of setting up exacting rules for what is right and wrong. I used to take it a step further, though, and believe that it was only the people who followed those exacting rules or who forced others to follow those rules who were being legalistic. Until recently, it did not sink in with me that the permissive person who assumes that God is fine with the things that he or she is doing is often legalistic as well.

The foundational tenet of Christianity is that humans are hopelessly fallen and need a savior, and that salvation is impossible without Christ because of our fallen nature. We can't be good enough on our own. This is where trying to live by a set of rules, or legalism, is pointless. My epiphany was that most people who rationalize why some thing that they want to do is not sin use the same legalistic mental framework to determine whether it is sin. "Did the Bible explicitly forbid it? Were there any apparent loopholes? In that case, it's not really a sin." They may have fewer rules that they follow, but they are slaves to legalism nonetheless. The whole process of labeling the activity as sin or not is legalism even if the person ultimately determines that the activity in question is not sin.

This fact that both the pious and the permissive can be legalistic illuminates a passage for me that has long confused me, though it is one of my favorites. Paul opens Galatians 5 by condemning those who were telling new converts that they had to be circumcised to be saved. We're free from the Law, Paul notes, so circumcision holds zero value toward salvation. The first twelve verses in the chapter seem to be pretty straightforward, as they state that we aren't bound to follow the Law. Verse thirteen gets a little sticky, though.

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature rather, serve one another in love."

So, I'm free but I'm not supposed to indulge the sinful nature? Doesn't that mean I am still under a legalistic system? Verses 19 through 21 go further and even detail a list of things we're not supposed to do, almost like a set of rules.

"The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

So, how can we reconcile this? Even with what I am about to say I still have trouble reading the acts of the sinful nature from any perspective other than a legalistic perspective. I think the key is in the verses prior to the description of the sinful nature. The following are verses 16 through 18.

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law."

If we focus solely on whether we take a strict or a permissive view of the rules rather than focusing on living by the Spirit we have missed the point. Unfortunately, the passage above is a vague statement that both the strict and the permissive can twist for their own purposes fairly easily. To get around this I turned to another passage that has similarly confused me in the past. In Romans 7 Paul talks about his sinning even though he did not want to, but in Romans 8 he says that those who are controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. The bridge between the two passages that addresses the apparent contradiction is Romans 7:25.

"Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our LORD! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

Our natures are slaves to the law of sin on this world no matter what we do, but we can give our mind to God's law. Legalism asks whether some action is a sin and worthy of punishment or not. This is not the system that God intended. The mind that is truly given over to God is concerned with loving God and neighbor, and through that love knows the right actions without a rule book. It is important to note that the mind will not win every battle with the nature. Paul's didn't. Legalism is not nearly so forgiving. Even with the mistakes, the mind that is truly committed to God is ultimately saved and receives no condemnation.

So legalism and permissiveness, if they both rely on establishing black and white rules, are two futile sides of the same coin. The real question is whether you are willing to make your mind and heart a slave to God. I have discussed in a separate post that this commitment will be painful if it is legitimate, but the pain does lead to a reward.

As I work through this myself I hope to hit more on the topic of what specifically making your mind and heart a slave to God entails. I don't know when I will post this, but I expect that it will reflect on the apparent sinfulness of almost everyone listed in Hebrews 11. Look forward to it.

the more i seek you

The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you

I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe
Feel your heart beat

This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
It's overwhelming- Zach Neese ("The More I Seek You")

I have only twice heard the song with the lyrics above. The first time was in a church service several months back, and when I got home I had to email a few friends to ask them if they were as uncomfortable with the lyrics as I am. The second time was this past Sunday, again in a church service. Simply put, I can't sing the song. If I sing it it sounds like I'm singing to my boyfriend. Since I am a straight man that is a problem. One could argue that if I were a straight woman and felt the same way that would be a problem as well.

I discussed this with a few other friends tonight, and one important point that came up in the discussion is that without knowing that this is supposed to be a worship song most people would conclude that this was a slightly erotic love song. Giving the song context might make it a little better, but my mind simply cannot properly go from the physical relationship that the words imply to true worship.

The point of this post is not really to whine about the song, however, but to pose a few questions to the men and to the women who read this blog. Please note that I am asking because I am trying to understand how a song like this could get past the censors, as it were.

To the women, if you sang these lyrics in a worship service would it be worshipful as to God as God, or would it be worshipful to God as a significant other, or perhaps something else? Do you have any problems with seeing God as a significant other (like a boyfriend or a husband)? Do you find the lyrics above imply a physical or romantic relationship? If you were in a church service and heard that song would it occur to you that a man would be uncomfortable with the song?

To the men, do you agree with me or do you feel like this is not structured to be a romantic song? Could you sing it as a worshipful rather than a romantic song? Are there other songs that make you uncomfortable for the same reason I am uncomfortable with this song?

I am also open to input beyond these questions. Golden made an excellent point that she could sing the song from the perspective of a child/parent relationship with God. I really can see that, though I still can't shake the romantic relationship idea strong enough to sing it in that way. If anyone else has any other insights I would love to hear them.

monster

Cause we're all guilty of the same things
We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through
And I know that I have been forgiven
And I just hope you can forgive me too- Relient K ("Forgiven")

One of the strongest, most foundational themes in the Bible is forgiveness. This is in regard both to the fact that we don't deserve the forgiveness that we freely receive and that we should forgive others. It is important enough that it is nearly impossible for me to imagine someone genuinely being a Christian and harboring unforgiveness without an understanding that this is something that he or she needs to change in his or her life. This potentially represents the most dangerous spiritual obstacle that an otherwise upstanding Christian will face.

Probably the scariest parable Jesus taught was that of the unmerciful servant (Matt 18:21-35). If it were not for the fact that the servant had already had a huge debt forgiven, it would not seem unreasonable to most people for him to take measures to right the financial wrong that his fellow servant committed against him. Maybe in today's modern world we would not condone the severe actions that he took, but we certainly would not fault his sense of justice. It is precisely because the unmerciful servant had required mercy earlier that he was handed over to be tortured until his unpayable debt was repaid. He was not being punished for his unforgiveness, per se, but rather his unforgiveness nullified the forgiveness he otherwise would have received and he was held accountable for his debt. He could not accept forgiveness if he could not give it.

One of the rarest qualities in the world a person can have is the willingness and ability to truly forgive wrongs. Forgiveness with an air of superiority is pride. Forgiveness as a show is vanity. Forgiveness with conditions is an attempt to bargain with God or someone else. True forgiveness is not even necessarily something that needs to be said. It is something that is done in the heart. For as rare as this quality of the heart is, it is something that God absolutely expects.

While there are many things that make forgiveness difficult, I believe that the problem generally boils down to an issue of pride. It is much easier to forgive the monstrous things others do if we really believe that we ourselves are forgiven monsters. I am not saying that this makes forgiveness easy, but it does make forgiveness more possible. I actually think that that the first step of viewing oneself as in as much need of mercy as the people one despises is the nearly impossible step, and forgiveness is a cakewalk in comparison (note that I am speaking relatively here).

For my part my first reaction is not one of forgiveness when someone wrongs me in even a minor way. I know how hard forgiveness is because it is hard for me. I would much rather dream about revenges that I would not ever commit than spend that same effort forgiving the slight. That is just one more thing for which this monster needs to be forgiven.

a poem, i wish

Poetry is pain
Poetry is happy
Poetry is plain
Poetry is snappy

I write by the line
But this is no great feat
I use the best rhyme
But I can't keep a beat

Matching sounds is nice
Matching cadence neater
My rhymes are precise
I just can't use meter

I would if I could
Pen a weighty work now
Still might not be good
With no syllabic count

It would not be cheap
And would be from the heart
I might make it deep
And I'd attempt at smart

For style not substance
Would my verse be undone
Many the instance
Would the beat miss by one

Though the form is low
I still inscribe my thought
Trying to find flow
I have constantly fought

When I write flowery
What most everyone knows
I say poetry
I should really say prose

off the bridge

Week seven: Did you really assume
I'd find some solace from the letter in your room?
Next life, could you kindly refrain
From throwing yourself at the mercy of a train?

Silence all, nobody breathe
How in the world could you just leave?
You promised you would
Silence that evil with good- Newsboys ("Elle G.")

I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
So much pain
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?- Evanescence ("Tourniquet")

This past weekend I watched a documentary entitled Bridge, which is applicable to this site for more than just the name. It is about the people who actually jump off the bridge. The film captures people as they attempt to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Most succeed.

In most of the Christian traditions of which I have some knowledge, suicide has been viewed as a kind of unforgivable sin. Logically, this does appear to make some sense. How can someone be right with God when in their last moments they ended a life?

I have always wondered about the state of the soul of the person who commits suicide. While this does not describe all suicides, I would guess that most frequently it is something reserved to people who are chemically imbalanced. For this and other reasons, I am not convinced that suicide is an unforgivable sin. No one is perfect when they die, so maybe grace can cover suicide.

I have also always wondered about what goes through the head of someone intending to commit suicide. What is the trigger that makes someone think this is the best option available? One man in Bridge said that after he jumped off the bridge he immediately regretted the decision and decided he did not really want to die. Is this regret universal?

What about people who decide to end it all for other reasons? This treads into political waters, but I honestly don't know how I feel about people who are terminally ill who want to end their lives early. Is that death merciful or is it a selfish approach that ignores the importance and value of life? How would I feel if I had to make that decision?

In my mind, if suicide is unforgivable it has to be because it is because it is somehow a selfish or cowardly act. I already know that giving your life for someone else is about the most God-like thing a person can do. Maybe the ultimate selfless act can also be the ultimate selfish act as well once all of the altruism has been removed.

Even though this blog is about me figuratively jumping off the bridge, I cannot even fathom ever being at the point where I would want to literally do so. Not even if everyone else was doing it.

you don't know that?

I am watching the game show 1 vs 100 right now. The game is structured so that one person is asked a series of questions as are a group of one hundred people in the audience. If the person outlasts everyone in this "mob" in the audience he or she gets one million dollars. If they miss a question, the people in the mob who have not yet missed a question split a pot of money.

When I watch a game show I frequently ask how people do not know some bit of information. For example, I thought that everyone knew that in Paul Revere's Ride two lamps meant that the British were coming by sea. Golden thought everyone knew that a white sale was for linens. We both got one of these two "easy" questions wrong.

It is always interesting to hear what people think is information that everyone should know. I have been surprised in the past when intelligent people I knew didn't know information I thought was common. I also know that many times people have reacted the same way to me.

Sometimes it is a little difficult to acknowledge that I don't know something that everyone else does because it might betray that I am not the vault of useless knowledge that I like to be. When it comes to the stuff that a person wants to take pride in knowing I think just about everyone is that way. One person may not feel stupid not knowing who the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation was, but that same person might be embarrassed not to know something about cars, or fashion, or something else. I just have to avoid expecting to know it all.

wide eyed

I have been rediscovering some of the older music that I have because I have been loading some of it onto my Nano. I came across a song that never failed to make me think, even though the music style is not what I typically like.

From "Wide Eyed," by Nicole Nordeman.

When I met him on a sidewalk
He was preaching to a mailbox
Down on 16th Avenue
He told me he was Jesus
Sent from Jupiter to free us
With a bottle of tequila and one shoe
He raged about repentance
He finished every sentence
With a promise that the end was close at hand
I didn't even try to understand
...
Not so long ago, a man from Galilee
Fed thousands with His bread and His theology
And the truth He spoke
Quickly became the joke
Of educated, self-inflated Pharisees like me

There may be a small danger in encouraging people to listen to the guy with a tequila bottle in his hand. I have to say, though, that this is not really one of my problems. My problem is more likely at the opposite end of the spectrum.

I have already documented that I have a tendency to write certain types of people off as wackos. The question that I have to ask myself is whether this tendency would cause me to ignore Jesus if I lived in His day. Would I see him as a drunken lunatic when He spoke to me? Would I think myself too good for God?

the squirrel

This is a poem I wrote for a creative writing club in 1995 when I was much younger. We were supposed to write a poem about Spring, and this is what resulted.

The squirrel, our main character
Had hibernated all winter
Through all the freezing sleet and snow
He was warm in the ground below

He gathered nuts the prior fall
And in the ground he stored them all
Yet not noticing in the least
He put them in a heap of yeast

While he was in hibernation
His horde was in fermentation
So that first nut that he got
Was somewhat like a whiskey shot

Shocked by this taste in his coffer
He liked it so he tried another
Soon drunk on the ground he did lay
Thinking of what his wife would say

He soon dozed off without a fight
And lay like that through all the night
When he finally did awake
He had an Excedrin headache

His sight seemed to dance and hover
This squirrel had a hangover
Half digested nuts were heaved out
As he looked for his part of town

He had never heard such a shout
As the one that his spouse let out
He made this promise to his wife
“No more booze for all my life”

One year later and no smarter
He thinks his stash under water
What he hid them this time in
Is now some nitroglycerine

This poem is dedicated to the squirrel who was the unfortunate victim of an accidental explosion.

a prayer

Now I wake me up from sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die while in my bed
I pray the Lord to rest the dead

Now I step me to the sink
I wash up so as not to stink
And if I die before I dry
Just towel me off where I lie

Now I get me dressed for work
I wear it all pants and shirt
And if I die while half dressed
Leave me there so I can rest

Now I get me out the door
My body pimples every pore
And if I die from the cold
Just stand me up and behold

Now I get me to my car
It's not been scraped yet thus far
And if I die before I'm done
Lie me down beneath the sun

Now I get me through the day
To somehow make it through the fray
And if I die before the dusk
Deal with me without a fuss

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take

the double bind

I hate having to make decisions when all options are less than ideal. I am sure most people are like that. I wrote the following poem in one of my more cynical moments a while back and decided against brightening it up later. It is meant to be pessimistic and it will stay that way. This is not about any specific situation, so don't read too much into it. It's just about bad situations in general.

Cursed if I do
Blocked if I don't
Bad if I will
Worse if I won't

Whatever choice
Whatever plan
I do commit
I show my hand

It will be wrong
Not ever right
Cause that's the lot
I cast tonight

I thought it through
I worked real hard
Doesn't matter
It's in the cards

When I decide
To not decide
It's then I find
That's no free ride

Cursed when I do
Blocked when I don't
Bad when I will
Worse when I won't

eatin' and screamin'

In honor of baby NJ. Much appreciation to Golden for the idea.

Eatin' and screamin'
And poopin' and peein'
Plannin' and dreamin'
Each night of his alarms
That he will get into your arms
So if you're looking
To find love that you can share
All you gotta do is
Hold him and change him and love him
And show him that you care

Show him that you care
And just for him
Do the things that he likes to do
Rock in the chair just for him
Cause you won't calm him
Thinkin' and prayin'
Wishin' and hopin'

Eatin' and screamin'
And poopin' and peein'
Plannin' and dreamin'
His crying will start
That will get him into your heart
So if you're thinkin'
Of how great true sleep is
All you gotta do is
Hold him, and change him
And squeeze him and love him
Just do it
And after you do
He will be yours

Show him that you care
And just for him
Do the things that he likes to do
Rock in the chair just for him
Cause you won't calm him
Thinkin' and prayin'
Wishin' and hopin'

[Original Lyrics]

all you need is love

From All You Need is Love by The Beatles.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

As idealistic as I think the song is, I like it. While I am quite sure this is not what McCartney and Lennon were trying to say, God is love, and I think you can follow the logic of why I like the song from here.

The reason the song has been going through my head, though, is that Chase currently has an advertising campaign using the song as a backdrop to people making purchases with credit cards. Am I the only person who thinks this is the dumbest song a credit card company could pick to encourage people to make purchases with its cards? I have an idea for a minor rewrite so Chase can keep the same tune but the lyrics will be more applicable.

All you need is stuff.
All you need is stuff.
All you need is stuff, more stuff.
Stuff is all you need.

There. That's better.

fire and ice

Fire and Ice by Robert Frost:

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

When I first heard this poem in junior high or high school I thought it was a simple poem about an end of the world scenario. In college I was informed it was an comparison of passion and hatred. The poem does outright mention desire and hate, so I guess that makes sense. Part of me wishes I could hold onto the end of the world scenario, though.

There is something I find morbidly attractive about going through disaster scenarios. I think that I am not alone, because a large percentage of sci-fi and action films get most of their attraction from disaster portrayals. It is my understanding that even the Left Behind series caters to this desire. Not only that, a lot of the programming on the Discovery Channel, Science Channel, and other "educational" channels appeal to that part of me that wants to imagine the scope of large disasters.

The following are just some of the ways that I have heard that could end civilization (or damage it significantly) as we know it from some TV documentary.

• Supervolcano: To hear the documentaries tell it, you're a goner if you live anywhere within a few hundred miles of Yellowstone National Park. If the supervolcano that is there erupts, it could kill millions or billions and affect the world climate for years.
• Mega Tsunami: When the volcano in La Palma in the Canary Islands colapses, it's lights out for every city on the east coast from New York to Miami to Rio de Janeiro.
• Asteroid: A relatively small rock hitting Earth could doom us all either from actually being hit, or being scorched by debris heating up the atmosphere, or being frozen by a sort of nuclear winter, or the famine that will likely also result.

For me this is mostly for entertainment purposes. Even if it is the end of the world as we know it, I feel fine.

teach your parents

From Teach Your Children by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young:

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked,
The one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why,
If they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you.

Given that yesterday was Father's Day, I have been thinking about how Golden and I are going to be raising our new one. There are so many things that I am concerned about with this whole process. I know that each child is unique and so will provide unique challenges, so I am quite sure that we won't know completely how we will deal with a lot of things until we get a better understanding of our son's personality and motives. The following are some of the top concerns that I have, though.

I know that Golden and I are going to work this out together, but I will continually use the word "I" below because these are the concerns that I specifically have. Golden's list would probably be a little different.

1. I know good and intelligent people whom I respect whose kids had problems. I certainly will try to be active enough in my son's life that I hope to avoid this, but I am not so arrogant as to think I won't screw up at times along the way. How do I keep from making the big mistakes?

2. I know that character is developed in hard times and not easy times. Unless my son has hardships I can't expect that he will have character. How do I deal with this?

3. My son will be inquisitive enough that he will question God at some point in his life. It's a question of when rather than if. What can I do so that he will have faith enough to make this a reaffirming experience rather than a rebellious one?

4. In a time when the sins of the day are rooted in either entitlement or avarice, how can a kid be raised to not have either of those? I know that I am prone to avarice, but to gaurd against one opens the opportunity for the other.

5. How do I make sure that he has some freedom and happiness without allowing him to rule the house?

Looking back on my childhood it is easy to point out where I believe my parents did things wrong. They were not perfect. There aren't too many parents who are. I know that in a lot of the important stuff they did things more right than most other parents, though, and they never did anything they didn't believe was for my own good.

I know I will make mistakes. I hope that my son someday realizes that every decision Golden and I make is for his good above all else. I hope.

29.67% of everywhere

I was listening to the song "I've Been Everywhere" the other day and I determined I would try to figure out what percentage of "everywhere" I've been. Twenty-seven out of ninety-one is 29.67%. Of course, it appears that "everywhere" is generally in North America. Have the rest of you been to much of everywhere?

Reno - Nope Chicago - Yep Fargo - Nope Minnesota - Yep Buffalo - Yep Toronto - Nope Winslow - Yep Sarasota - Nope Wichita - Yep Tulsa - Yep Ottawa - Nope Oklahoma - Yep Tampa - Nope Panama - Nope Mattua - Nope LaPaloma - Nope Bangor - Nope Baltimore - Yep Salvador - Nope Amarillo - Yep Tocapillo - Nope Barranquilla - Nope Amperdillo - Nope	Boston - Nope Charleston - Nope Dayton - Nope Louisiana - Nope Washington - Yep Houston - Nope Kingston - Nope Texarkana - Nope Monterey - Nope Fairaday - Nope Santa Fe - Yep Tollaperson - Nope Glen Rock - Nope Black Rock - Nope Little Rock - Nope Oskaloussa - Nope Tennessee - Yep Tinnesay - Nope Chickapee - Nope Spirit Lake - Nope Grand Lake - Nope Devil's Lake - Nope Crater Lake - Nope
Louisville - Yep Nashville - Nope Knoxville - Nope Omerback - Nope Shereville - Nope Jacksonville - Nope Waterville - Yep Costa Rock - Yep Richfield - Yep Springfield - Yep Bakersfield - Nope Shreveport - Nope Hakensack - Nope Cadallic - Nope Fond du Lac - Yep Davenport - Nope Idaho - Yep Jellico - Nope Argentina - Nope Diamondtina - Nope Pasadena - Nope Catalina - Nope	Pittsburgh - Yep Parkersburg - Nope Gravelburg - Nope Colorado - Yep Ellisburg - Nope Rexburg - Nope Vicksburg - Nope Eldorado - Nope Larimore - Nope Adimore - Nope Habastock - Nope Chadanocka - Nope Shasta - Nope Nebraska - Yep Alaska - Nope Opalacka - Nope Baraboo - Nope Waterloo - Nope Kalamazoo - Yep Kansas City - Yep Souix City - Yep Cedar City - Yep Dodge City - Yep

it's only a day

Monday
New beginnings start
I have got too much to do
It's only a day

Tuesday
Dead day of a sort
Still most of my work ahead
Better than Monday

Wednesday
Now over the hump
In the middle of it all
Better than Monday

Thursday
Light seen from afar
Most of the tunnel behind
Better than Monday

Friday
Happiness overwhelms
Dreaming of gleeful nothings
Better than Monday

Saturday
Careless and lazy
Happy there's nothing to do
Better than Monday

Sunday
Silent noise surrounds
Sitting with nothing to do
Better than Monday

ice ice under pressure

duhh duh duhh duh duh duhh duhhh
duhh duh duhh duh duh duhh duhhh

When you hear the familiar bassline do you first think of Ice, Ice Baby or Under Pressure? If you think of Under Pressure do you think of the Queen rendition or the cover by My Chemical Romance?

I have a theory that there are few measures that are more telling about what age a person is than which song a person starts singing when they hear that bassline. For as sheltered as I was growing up, I still recognize it as Vanilla Ice's theme. If Golden or myself hear the bassline for any reason (even if it is for the song Under Pressure) we will start singing "Ice ice baby too cold too cold." I have noticed that people just a little older than myself tend to think more about Queen. I have to assume that someone much younger will only easily remember the recent cover by My Chemical Romance that has gotten a lot of radio playing time.

So which song do you think about and how does that correlate to your age?