I don't swear, and yet I do. I grew up in a family where using specific language was viewed as providing the potential for fiery--um--darnnation. I don't want to make it sound like I was in a police state or anything, but we simply didn't use certain language. I should mention that I don't think there is anything specifically wrong with mere words when separated from context, but I need to establish my history.
I still don't use the language. This is for multiple reasons, none of which have anything to do with the idea that it is sin. First and foremost, I don't want to get in the habit then slip around my parents. That would be a slap in the face to my mom the equivalent of lighting up a bong in front of her or voting with the Green Party (which is roughly synonymous). It just wouldn't be wise. I also have some cultural reasons not to use official cuss words. The final reason I avoid the language, though, is because I was taught that it was a lazy and stupid way to talk. I have thought long and hard regarding this and mostly disagree with this final sentiment. It impacts perception, nonetheless.
Today I use a lot of substitute words. I use crap, darn, freaking, and a few others for emphasis when needed. I know this isn't any different than using the real words, but for the reasons mentioned above I consider them more user friendly, even if a bit cheesy when compared to their counterparts. I used to use them sparsely enough that if I did use them it was more intelligent than when I use them now.
I think that there are effective and less effective ways to swear. I believe that the purpose of the language in the last couple hundred years has been to shock or emphasize. HOWEVER, WHEN A PERSON USES THE SAME SWEAR WORD FIFTY TIMES IN A PARAGRAPH IT IS LIKE LEAVING THE CAPS LOCK KEY ON WHEN HE OR SHE IS TYPING. The shock is eventually dulled, the emphasis is misplaced, and a percentage of the potential audience is left thinking that the individual is crude or dense (regardless as to whether that assessment is true). I know intelligent people who do this, so it isn't stupidity, but I do think this limits the value of the words if and when they are warranted.
Proper use of cussing would be to provide emphasis where emphasis is due. A good example is actually found in the Cotton Patch version of Romans 6:1. Paul needs to put a lot of emphasis in what he is saying, so the minor swearing in this paraphrase of his words actually fits.
I have noticed (and Forrest called me on it) that rather than properly using terms like "darn" and "freaking," I have started placing the terms where they do not belong. I have initially thought that sentences needed the emphasis, when I realized in retrospect that they didn't. This is something that I am resolving to change right now. Darn straight.
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8 comments:
I only called you out on it because I hadn't noticed that filth coming out of your mouth before. :)
I have gone through the same thought process you have about cussing. And I agree, that I cuss a lot. My words though are user friendly and not the capital swear words. But we all know what "shoot" substitutes.
I figured out that I can't swear using the big words even if I wanted to, because I was never trained in that way. In other words, the F-bomb is not the first word the pops in my head when I really messed/screwed/f'ed something up. :)
I have been thinking about the verse in the Bible that says don't sin in your anger. If I say shoot or crap in my anger is that a sin?
I had wanted to call my previous supervisor a female dog to her face. I struggled a lot with that one.
My problem is anger management.
Pues... Tu tiene hormigas ensu culo?
Careful Darwin. Let's keep this blog PG.
I usually save the "capital" cuss words, as Forrest calls them for emphasis in joking moments i.e. when I want to point out how ****ing stupid something is. I still use heck, darn, shoot, p'd, much more freely than I used to along with my new favorite: stink.
Because I know that many folks hearing these words would not be caused to stumble (or think less of my wittness), I'm finding it harder to come up with good reasons for my kids not to say them other than "that's impolite" or people will think you are a rude kid if you talk like that ... or as dust alluded to: people will think you aren't careful with your words and therefore not as smart as you and I know you are.
When I look at the surface of rasing my kids based on what people will think, it sounds pretty shallow and false; on the other hand, as I told C-man the other day. I've had nearly 33 years to learn when a word is or is not appropriate, he's just now figuring them out. When he's the daddy - he can decide wether or not to say "freakin'" on his own.
It's funny being parents. I think it is totally fine for me to say "dang it." But when I heard Goose out of the blue saying it for no apparent reason other than he thought it was funny, "dang it" doesn't seem to be a good word for me to use anymore.
I've thought the not so creative, nonintellectual idea about heavy duty swearers too. I suppose I find it crass too, that's why I use the substitutes. I don't want anyone assuming I'm dumb or crass. Sometimes with a new crowd my substitutes sound harsher than I'm used to.
Then there is the old A/G standbys of "Oh my stars", "Land sakes alive" (where does that really come from?), "Oh dear Jesus", "Heaven help us"...
I go in spurts with the slip-ups...usually depends ALOT on the influence around me. I had never said any 4-ltr words until I worked at the Railroad for 5 months...and when they say "cuss like a sailor"...you can pretty much say "cuss like a railroader"!
Unfortunately, when I slipped up that first time...I had a standing ovation of 150 "railroaders"! :P
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