confession

Today's theme in church seemed to be confession. Forrest opened our class up with an ice breaker to discuss any bad attitudes we had about church. In the main service the title of the sermon was "Confession." This is a very long post, so I don't expect everyone to read through it. As T might say, I have no pictures, so I decided to use a thousand words.

I must confess (and I did confess in class very honestly) that I actually have always disliked going to church. After the way I described my feelings this morning, I feel I need to have a post that more completely explains the cause of those feelings. Someone who didn't know me might have thought I hated everything about church if they heard my "confession."

I was always a little jealous of the people who looked forward to Sunday services, because the day actually filled me with a sort of dread. I always hated dressing up because I didn't really ever see the point, and dressy clothes are uncomfortable. I don't have much of a need for people to look at me and notice my clothes, and that could be the main purpose for dressy clothes. I think, though I am not sure, that a lot of people who say they like to go to church like it because they can show off their clothes. It isn't really a bad or a good reason, but it certainly isn't a motivating factor for me.

People may also enjoy church because they get to talk with friends. This is something that I do like about church. As a kid, though, it was rough because boys don't want to sit around and talk. They want to run around and do things that will destroy the dressy clothes that they are wearing. Any more I wear jeans, so that isn't a problem. :)

Some people like corporate worship. I like it too, kind of. I have found, though, that my worship is very personal, so I tend to block everything and everyone else out in my worship. I could do that at home, but I don't, so it is a good reason to go to church.

I want to address the three reasons beyond dressing up that I have had a bad attitude about church.

First, I hate to see people put on a show that doesn't match up with their real life. This hasn't been a big issue for me lately, because I have noticed that there isn't really such a thing as a person who is 100% genuine and there isn't such a thing as a person who is 100% fake. I just have to work on not being fake myself.

I have also noticed that some characteristics that I thought were fake in other people were actually the furthest thing from fake. I have to be more careful before judging.

The second reason is something that we mentioned in class, which is marketing within the church. Sometimes stuff gets hyped up into something it isn't. Really, that isn't a good reason to have a bad attitude about church, though, so I don't need to focus on that. So long as I am not expected to be a salesperson I'll deal.

The third reason for my bad attitude is the one that has gotten to me the most throughout my life. Within my denomination I have classified three types of preachers: the bad, the good, and the great. I classify them based on the typical sermon content.

The bad preachers focus on what I believe to be neither milk nor meat, but rather spiritual cotton candy. This is very typical for some traveling evangelists who believe that they can substitute Scriptural teaching with half-hour rants about Hollywood or the end times. I am very thankful that my pastor makes it a point to stay away from the cotton candy.

The good preachers teach milk almost exclusively. This isn't really a bad thing, because the milk is the necessities. The author of Hebrews describes the following as milky topics: repentance, faith, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. I certainly don't think any of it is unessential, but these are topics that the mature in faith should not need instruction in.

The great preachers teach milk and meat. Unfortunately, if a preacher only taught meat, half the congregation would probably not be ready for it. Therefore, no relevant preacher can focus only on meat. Based on Hebrews 5, I assume the details of the New Covenant are what best represent meat.

There is very little of the milk topics that I don't already understand, and there is a lot about the meat topics that I don't understand. When I hear a sermon on a topic for the fiftieth or one hundredth time in my life I realize that there are probably people who need to hear that sermon. Maybe I do too and I just don't realize it. I have a hard time with my attitude, nonetheless.

This is going to sound arrogant, but I sometimes feel like the kid in school who already knows what the teacher is going to say. I look forward to and crave the meat that I have never tasted. I feel like I have to go through a lot of milk to get to that meat. I know it's out there. How do I find it?