cheesed

Every once in a while I get sick to my stomach at night and can only get comfortable enough to sleep by -- um -- spending some time in the bathroom. This hasn't happened to me for several months, so I figured it was something that had been temporary and that I was past. That was until a couple of nights ago when it happened again. It was only then that I deduced the root cause.

One of my favorite late night snacks is cheese and crackers. I usually eat colby or cheddar, but I have been known to use cream cheese as well. The crackers have to be saltines. The very thought of a slice of colby between two saltines makes my mouth water.

As my face was hovering over the toilet bowl something occurred to me. Those offerings that I had given to the porcelain altar in the past have always been very similar. Every time I had gotten sick I had eaten saltines and colby cheese shortly before. I was satisfied with that discovery, but it was only an hour and a half later that my stomach was satisfied enough that it would let me go to sleep.

Does this mean that I will not be eating colby and crackers any more? Of course not. It just means I won't gorge myself on half the package of cheese like I did that night.