ambivalent

One of the guys in my office has a word of the day tear-off calendar that contains a word, its definition, and its etymology. Some of the words I have heard of before, but not in relation to the definition provided. For example a mare is a dark area on the moon and lyric can be an adjective (and not just a noun) describing prose that is melodic. The most recent word that I thought I knew that came up was ambivalent.

I have always understood ambivalent to mean indifferent. I have two choices, but I am ambivalent about my options because I don't care all that much. This is inaccurate. To be ambivalent is to care strongly about both options or positions that are available. Ambivalent also describes my current condition pretty well.

Right now, Golden and I are in the middle of waiting for something to happen that will indicate that either she is in labor or she isn't. The signs have been strong in both directions for two days now. Throughout, I have been torn. If it is best for this process to go slowly, then that is what I want. However, I don't know how much more of this waiting game we can take.

As Golden pointed out, we were in the hospital for four to five hours Thursday night through Friday morning. Given the frequency and strength of her contractions, I figured that was proof that we were going to have June 30th baby. I was excited about the prospect, but bummed that I would be so very short on sleep when the event occurred. After they sent us home and I got some sleep I was still convinced the baby would arrive on the 30th because Golden still appeared to be in labor.

Now it is July 1, and no matter how much Golden walks or sits or sleeps or stays awake, we still don't have a clue when this is going to occur. She is having consistent contractions again like she had before which we are monitoring, but with as many false starts as we have had I just don't know what to think.

Hopefully, I will have better information the next time I update this site. The best news would be that we have a healthy baby boy. That is something that I am not ambivalent about.