teach your parents

From Teach Your Children by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young:

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked,
The one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why,
If they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you.

Given that yesterday was Father's Day, I have been thinking about how Golden and I are going to be raising our new one. There are so many things that I am concerned about with this whole process. I know that each child is unique and so will provide unique challenges, so I am quite sure that we won't know completely how we will deal with a lot of things until we get a better understanding of our son's personality and motives. The following are some of the top concerns that I have, though.

I know that Golden and I are going to work this out together, but I will continually use the word "I" below because these are the concerns that I specifically have. Golden's list would probably be a little different.

1. I know good and intelligent people whom I respect whose kids had problems. I certainly will try to be active enough in my son's life that I hope to avoid this, but I am not so arrogant as to think I won't screw up at times along the way. How do I keep from making the big mistakes?

2. I know that character is developed in hard times and not easy times. Unless my son has hardships I can't expect that he will have character. How do I deal with this?

3. My son will be inquisitive enough that he will question God at some point in his life. It's a question of when rather than if. What can I do so that he will have faith enough to make this a reaffirming experience rather than a rebellious one?

4. In a time when the sins of the day are rooted in either entitlement or avarice, how can a kid be raised to not have either of those? I know that I am prone to avarice, but to gaurd against one opens the opportunity for the other.

5. How do I make sure that he has some freedom and happiness without allowing him to rule the house?

Looking back on my childhood it is easy to point out where I believe my parents did things wrong. They were not perfect. There aren't too many parents who are. I know that in a lot of the important stuff they did things more right than most other parents, though, and they never did anything they didn't believe was for my own good.

I know I will make mistakes. I hope that my son someday realizes that every decision Golden and I make is for his good above all else. I hope.