Beast Switches to Unlisted Number
NEW JERSEY, June 12, 2006 (OTB)--Less than a week after the hoopla surrounding the day 06/06/06, the Beast has decided to change his number to an unlisted one. "At first I thought having a number that everyone knew about was cool," noted the Beast, "but the continual publicity of being associated with 666 is real distracting. Here I am trying to plan total domination of mankind and figure out how to convince people to insert microchips into the most bony parts of their bodies, but all anyone cares about is that my number happens to be 666."
When the Beast initially selected his number he was careful to keep it to himself and close friends. Once John the Apostle got hold of it, though, the Beast found that the secret would not stay hidden. "I thought he would keep the number tight to his chest," recalled the Beast. "Boy, was I wrong."
The Beast has yet to select a new number, but he has considered 90210. "I was a real Shannon Doherty fan in the nineties," he commented. "I think she was a fan of me as well. That may just be me wishfully buying into her persona, though."
One thing is sure. The Beast will be careful who he shares his new number with this time around. "I'm keeping the new number away from that blabbermouth John at all costs. He gets under my skin, not unlike my microchips."
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12 comments:
What will all the heavy metal bands do for album cover art? Now how are they going to scare parents?
I thought that was what the 'PARENTAL ADVISORY' labels were for nowadays?
I told Dust that he should submit this to Lark News.
Wait, did Dust write this?
Did you seriously think I would copy and paste without citing a source? :)
Yeah, I wrote it.
Yeah, I've got his number! :)
John.
Was there no source? I wasn't looking for one.
At first, I thought you wrote it, because the writing flowed like a Dust story, but then I forgot about my initial thought.
Just "OTB." Guess what that stands for. :)
So what is the OTB? I want to know! I have my guesses...but I'd rather not give them! :)
Site name. :)
Fantastic authorship! Thoroughly enjoyed reading that...and was ready to Google the original...LOL!
Funny!
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