the clothing fairy

Every work morning after my shower I find that the clothing fairy has laid out what I am supposed to wear for the day. This is really convenient for me because she makes sure the clothes I wear do not clash too horribly. She also assures that I don't wear the same shirt three days in a row. Thankfully, she allows for the clothes that I like to be placed in the mix.

Interestingly, the clothing fairy has laid out my clothes constantly since around August of 2000. I have often been concerned that Golden may be jealous of the fairy's influence over my life, but to this point she has acted content with the situation. It's good Golden isn't the type to display any jealousy.

The clothing fairy does not tend to work very much on Saturdays, though I think this is so that I appreciate her work on the other days of the week. The process to get ready on Saturdays is noticeably longer.

The fairy has not requested any payment yet in return for her services, but I am genuinely concerned that she is slowly making me more and more helpless to do this myself so that she has the upper hand in future negotiations. Then, she can demand the world from me and probably get it.

I would like to get a glimpse of the clothing fairy some day because I would like to know who it is who has such an influence on my daily appearance. Has anyone ever seen Golden and the fairy in the same room? I ask because I am just a little bit suspicious.

messing up my schedule

Golden has already pointed out that we are in a waiting game right now with the pregnancy. The doctor seemed to indicate that Golden could go into labor this week, but that it is not guaranteed.

I was pointing out to someone at work how not knowing when this will occur is kind of frustrating. He commented that I might have to learn to not be married to a schedule with kids. I think I have a better idea. I'm going to try hanging a calendar and day timer in the little one's crib when we bring him home. It's better to learn how this home is structured sooner rather than later.

approachable

Golden and I are both blessed and cursed with being relatively approachable. I don't know that we are approachable to all people, but we both have our share of strangers who just start conversations with us out of nowhere.

On Saturday we were walking through the parking lot at Wal-Mart and some lady walking in the opposite direction pointed out to us that the storms that were approaching were going to ruin her plans for that night, then she slowed down and detailed her plans.

I think part of the reason that we are approachable is that we both have an appearance of being normal mainstream people, but we both have something about us that is not normal. I have noticed this most when I have worked with people who did not grow up in American culture or who don't perfectly fit in with the group for one reason or another. Since I don't fully seem like I fit in, but I can kind of look like I do, I tend to be friends with these types. I kind of get the feeling that in some cases these people befriend me to help themselves fit in a little more, not realizing that I can't do them much good.

I guess being approachable because I don't fit in is better than being seen as too snobby or pretentious to be approached. I wouldn't mind being a round peg in a round hole occasionally as well, though.

my past two days

Thursday:

The manager over our group visited the office for the first time in two years. We visited Copelands, because cajun food was a consensus favorite.

Also, like the last time he came out, we decided to do laser tag. In our first game a team of ten-year-olds kicked our butts. We figured ahead of time that a team of kids would be rough, and this isn't the first time it happened, but I would've preferred to win that game. I attribute that to the fact that my gun was broken. After getting a working gun and switching our team color to one that could be distinguished more clearly, my team took first place twice.

Around 9PM I was still getting ready to go to Homers when BB called to see if anyone would be there that night. Apparently I wasn't the only person running late. BB was the only one there yet. Coffee night was fun, but shorter than usual since I got there kind of late (or latte if I want to play with the pun).

Friday:

I went to the dentist right before lunch time. I scheduled the appointment then because I forgot that I would get a novocaine shot and not be able to eat for a few hours. It was 2PM before I was able to eat lunch and it was 4PM before I could fully feel my lower lip.

The movie for the evening was the second Underworld flick. I liked it except that it ended in a way that I know there is going to be a third movie.

the whole tooth

I visited the dentist last Friday for the first time in three years. While things were mostly in order, two cavities were discovered that I will have to have filled tomorrow.

A lot of people dislike going to the dentist. I don't really mind. I dealt with four years of braces, about ten pulled teeth, and a root canal, so there isn't much left that a dentist can do that would bother me. What does bother me is that a lot of dentists are kind of aggressive about getting the teeth perfect. I don't want to have to visit the dentist three times a year just to get my teeth cleaned.

Golden and I are going to a new dentist that is closer to our house than our last dentist. I think I like this guy more because he is not real aggressive in recommending that work be done. Our last dentist pushed a lot of work through, but this new dentist seemed a bit more laid back. I haven't experienced this dentist in action yet, though. I think I'll know how I feel about him tomorrow.

the bulge

Top Ten
Reasons Dust has gained weight in the last year.

10. Lunch, Afternoon snack, Supper, Early evening snack, evening snack, midnight snack and everything in between. 9. Genetics. 8. If one Junior Whopper for ninety-nine cents is a good deal, two must be even better. 7. The trifecta: Blockbuster Online, PVR, and Cable. 6. Learned trick of getting into pants with waist sizes that are now too small from Golden as she went through second term of pregnancy. 5. Free pop and junk food at work + No willpower = Happy Dust. 4. "Gym? What's a gym?" 3. Strangely, Golden no longer wants to take long strolls around the neighborhood. 2. Survivor, Lost, The Amazing Race, The Apprentice, The Office, Scrubs, Whose Line is it Anyway, Mythbusters... 1. Sympathy cravings.

teach your parents

From Teach Your Children by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young:

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked,
The one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why,
If they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you.

Given that yesterday was Father's Day, I have been thinking about how Golden and I are going to be raising our new one. There are so many things that I am concerned about with this whole process. I know that each child is unique and so will provide unique challenges, so I am quite sure that we won't know completely how we will deal with a lot of things until we get a better understanding of our son's personality and motives. The following are some of the top concerns that I have, though.

I know that Golden and I are going to work this out together, but I will continually use the word "I" below because these are the concerns that I specifically have. Golden's list would probably be a little different.

1. I know good and intelligent people whom I respect whose kids had problems. I certainly will try to be active enough in my son's life that I hope to avoid this, but I am not so arrogant as to think I won't screw up at times along the way. How do I keep from making the big mistakes?

2. I know that character is developed in hard times and not easy times. Unless my son has hardships I can't expect that he will have character. How do I deal with this?

3. My son will be inquisitive enough that he will question God at some point in his life. It's a question of when rather than if. What can I do so that he will have faith enough to make this a reaffirming experience rather than a rebellious one?

4. In a time when the sins of the day are rooted in either entitlement or avarice, how can a kid be raised to not have either of those? I know that I am prone to avarice, but to gaurd against one opens the opportunity for the other.

5. How do I make sure that he has some freedom and happiness without allowing him to rule the house?

Looking back on my childhood it is easy to point out where I believe my parents did things wrong. They were not perfect. There aren't too many parents who are. I know that in a lot of the important stuff they did things more right than most other parents, though, and they never did anything they didn't believe was for my own good.

I know I will make mistakes. I hope that my son someday realizes that every decision Golden and I make is for his good above all else. I hope.

pull tabs

I really can't stand misinformation. I think this is because I believe most of the ills of the world have some root in misinformation, even if it is less than direct.

This week someone at work sent an email around asking us to drop the pull tops from any cans of pop we drink in a container he would be submitting for a charity. I, in my infinite knowledge, asked how the tabs would be redeemed because I know that most charities cannot get any use out of pop tabs. It turned out to be a legitimate charity drive, so I ended up feeling a little stupid for asking.

I am sensitive about pull tabs because an experience I had as a kid. When I was in fifth grade my teacher heard about someone with either cancer or leukemia (it was sixteen years ago, so I am fuzzy on the details). If we could collect enough pop tabs they could be turned in to pay for treatments or medical devices or something of that nature. Our class collected several large jars of pop and beer tabs, and for every jar we collected we got to have a pop party.

Near the end of the year we were trying to fill the jar one more time when one kid realized a few minutes before class that he forgot to bring his collection of tabs. He quickly borrowed a classmate's bike and headed home to retrieve it.

After that student hadn't returned for a half hour or so after class started, our teacher told our class that Jeremiah had been hit by a car and she didn't know what his condition was. By the end of the day we learned that he had died. While I really know that the accident was due to things like the fact that this kid was not very cautious on his bike and that there was a blind spot created by shrubs where he was hit, I still know that collecting the pop tabs indirectly caused his death.

Later in life I found out that most pull tab collections are more or less meaningless in helping those who are ill, it reaffirmed my distaste for misinformation. As I said before, I know the connection between the two is indirect, but there was still an impact.

all i do is work

For the past few days I have been a busier than usual at the office. That's life and this sort of thing happens. Me doing a little extra work is not what this is about really. The real issue is that for some reason I don't seem to be capable of doing the extra work without pointing it out to other people.

For example, if I get off a particularly frustrating phone call that required more effort than I think it should have and someone happens to be walking by, I grab that person and spout off about the phone call or how much work I have to do in general. If someone isn't walking by, I sometimes go walking around looking for someone to bellyache to. The casual observer might conclude that I can't go above and beyond unless someone else knows I am going above and beyond. Pity those whose desks are close to mine.

I have noticed that some other people like to do this as well, but I don't think I have worked with anyone who quite reaches my level. I have reached a point that is almost legendary.

I am not sure why I do this. Is it some deep insecurity that I am subconsciously trying to address? Is it my competitive nature to make a big deal about what I do? Do I just want an excuse to be doing something other than work? My vote is on all of the above.

the one and only

My name, the one I go by at least, is not real common. I think my real name (Andust) is more common than the name I go by. I have actually enjoyed the fact that my name isn't too common as I always know that if I hear my name, I am the person being referenced.

A couple of days ago someone started work in my office with the same name as myself. At this point I am not sure how to respond to that because I don't really know what it is like to have someone else around with the same name. There has been a little confusion in communications getting sent to the wrong person, and I have cracked some jokes about the dual names, but I still don't know if it is good or bad.

If it gets bad, I or him may have to go by something a little different. I am fine with this so long as I get to choose my new title. I'm thinking, "High and Mighty Grand Lord Kingpin." It has a nice ring to it. Of course with my luck my title would be "Assistant to the High and Mighty Grand Lord Kingpin." Maybe I'll just go by Dust.

beast changes number

Beast Switches to Unlisted Number

NEW JERSEY, June 12, 2006 (OTB)--Less than a week after the hoopla surrounding the day 06/06/06, the Beast has decided to change his number to an unlisted one. "At first I thought having a number that everyone knew about was cool," noted the Beast, "but the continual publicity of being associated with 666 is real distracting. Here I am trying to plan total domination of mankind and figure out how to convince people to insert microchips into the most bony parts of their bodies, but all anyone cares about is that my number happens to be 666."

When the Beast initially selected his number he was careful to keep it to himself and close friends. Once John the Apostle got hold of it, though, the Beast found that the secret would not stay hidden. "I thought he would keep the number tight to his chest," recalled the Beast. "Boy, was I wrong."

The Beast has yet to select a new number, but he has considered 90210. "I was a real Shannon Doherty fan in the nineties," he commented. "I think she was a fan of me as well. That may just be me wishfully buying into her persona, though."

One thing is sure. The Beast will be careful who he shares his new number with this time around. "I'm keeping the new number away from that blabbermouth John at all costs. He gets under my skin, not unlike my microchips."

cream of the cut

For a few weeks I have known that I was running low on shaving cream, but I didn't know how low. On Thursday I ran out. It used to be that I would simply find a sample can of shaving cream that I picked up in past years and use that until I could buy another can. This time that didn't work.

Friday and today I couldn't find any other shaving cream except Golden's Skintimate shave gel so I used that. It did the trick except that I smelled like lavender and it caused more nicks than usual.

This morning (actually afternoon) just after I completed my flowery and bloody duty Golden found some spare shaving cream in a travel bag. Seemed kind of pointless at that point. I bought some more shaving cream today, though, so I won't smell like lavender tomorrow.

false start

Golden will be posting on this shortly from her perspective. I will leave many of the details to her. On Tuesday she found out from the doctor that what she thought was the baby pushing with his feet or butt was actually Braxton Hicks contractions. For those without kids, these are apparently contractions that train the uterus for labor.

Since her appointment on Tuesday, though, those contractions started happening very frequently. When Golden called in the morning she found that her doctor is out of the office until Monday, so she talked to a nurse who thought that this was just Braxton Hicks and not real labor. She did eventually get an appointment, though.

At the appointment, it was determined that they could not be assured that this was not premature labor, so Golden went to the hospital for monitoring. When I headed toward the hospital I found that we did not have the hospital bags packed yet. With some help from a call to Golden I wadded enough stuff into the bag to feel useful and went to the hospital.

Golden was hooked up to an IV, a fetus monitor, and one of those things that clip onto the finger to get a pulse. After she had been monitored for a few hours, the nurse reported Golden's condition to her doctor and the decision was made that this was a false labor.

Golden was forbidden to go into work until she can see her doctor on Monday, and she is generally staying off her feet. She has been told that she can do light things around the house like make supper. :) She needs to drink fluids very frequently to stay hydrated, though. Otherwise, we may be doomed to repeat yesterday's events.

blockbuster or netflix

Just about anyone who has had more than one conversation with me in the past ten months knows that Golden and I are signed up for Blockbuster online. For the past couple of years I have thought that subscribing to an online service would be cool because I could catch up on the ton of movies that I have been meaning to see for a while. When Blockbuster and Netflix started competing on price last year and Blockbuster started issuing free rental coupons to online subscribers I knew that was my time to act. I truly believe we save money now on entertainment because we don't have to go out as much to be entertained.

For the longest time my greatest concern was that Netflix customers would see that Blockbuster offered an obviously better deal (three movies out at a time plus in store rentals) and move en masse to Blockbuster. To my knowledge, Blockbuster doesn't practice slamming, which is giving heavy users of the service lower priority for high demand movies, either. This would do in Netflix, I figured, and Blockbuster could either raise rates or get rid of online features. This is the only reason I initially waffled on whether to go with Blockbuster or with Netflix.

Based on news I am hearing, though, the opposite is really true. Netflix is turning profits with three to four times more customers than Blockbuster, and Blockbuster is hardly making any money on its online service. What I don't fully understand yet is why Netflix customers have remained loyal to Netflix. I know several people who use Netflix, and at least a few are very loyal customers.

I am realizing that Netflix users are kind of like Mac users. They signed up for the original service that came out, were generally happy with the experience, and now talking about a Netflix queue is kind of the same as talking about the songs on an iPod. I think because I jumped into the services a little late I chose more from a cost analysis perspective. My overall experience with Blockbuster online is very positive, though, so I hope it hangs around a while.

free help

Golden's family visited this weekend and they went to work on our house. Besides some cleaning, Golden's dad replaced the ballast on the fluorescent lights in the kitchen, replaced receptacles in the baby's room with tamper resistant ones, and hooked up water to the icemaker on our refrigerator, and Golden's mom decorated the receptacle plates in the baby's room.

As I have said before, I am not much of a handyman around the house, so it is nice to have this sort of thing taken care of. I am starting to realize that I should probably go ahead and attempt to work out some of this stuff myself, though, because most of it isn't all that complicated. I also realized that some materials aren't all that expensive, either.

My concern about fixing things around the house is always what do I do if things go wrong. If I do something wrong with the plumbing and we can't take a shower for three days or if I somehow damage our electronics when flipping a breaker, I don't know what I'll do. So, rather than take any risks, I just don't do anything.

So I'll probably wait to do anything else around the house until my dad comes in July. I wonder if he wouldn't mind helping with my gutters.

street legal

My Kansas driver's license expires at the end of next month so I have to go in and have it renewed some time in the next few weeks. I don't know if this is something new, but I have to take a test for the privilege of renewing the license. I actually understand this because I have seen enough idiots on the road, but the way the test is administered has me wondering whether it is worth the effort.

The test that I received in the mail this past week includes twenty-four questions, none of which are horribly difficult, that I can fill in at my leisure and bring to the DMV with me when I renew. I understand that the point isn't to eliminate licenses but to encourage people to become better acquainted with Kansas traffic laws. Still, the way this is structured feels more like busy work than a process to force knowledge of the rules of the road.

For all my talk I just know I will fill the form out wrong and be marked as failing the test. If you see Golden driving me around town you can assume that happened.

i've got sole

On Memorial Day Golden was planning to go shopping. I figured that was fine. I would sleep in and she would go shopping. Since J.C. Penny had a sale on shoes she recommended that I come along, though, to pick up a couple of pair. I haven't gotten tennis shoes in a year and a half and anything resembling a casual dressy shoe in six years.

It used to be that I liked new shoes for the look but hated them for the feel. I would want to show off the shoes around friends, but I often got blisters along the heel until the shoes were worn to fit me.

Now I like new shoes for the feel and don't always care for the look. This is especially the case with new white shoes. People are asking me about the new shoes for the next week until I can succeed in getting a little dirt on them. The pairs I got this time around aren't quite as obvious as some of my past shoes, but they still look new.

Far as feel, the new tennis shoes that I have been wearing were real comfortable from the start. No need to wear them in. The only problem is that the soles are a little thicker than my previous shoes, so I have had to adjust my car seat because the gas pedal felt a little weird. Other than that, everything is great.

What I love most about buying new shoes, though, is that I won't have to go shoe shopping for a while now. Maybe I can stretch it to two years this time.