monster

Cause we're all guilty of the same things
We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through
And I know that I have been forgiven
And I just hope you can forgive me too- Relient K ("Forgiven")

One of the strongest, most foundational themes in the Bible is forgiveness. This is in regard both to the fact that we don't deserve the forgiveness that we freely receive and that we should forgive others. It is important enough that it is nearly impossible for me to imagine someone genuinely being a Christian and harboring unforgiveness without an understanding that this is something that he or she needs to change in his or her life. This potentially represents the most dangerous spiritual obstacle that an otherwise upstanding Christian will face.

Probably the scariest parable Jesus taught was that of the unmerciful servant (Matt 18:21-35). If it were not for the fact that the servant had already had a huge debt forgiven, it would not seem unreasonable to most people for him to take measures to right the financial wrong that his fellow servant committed against him. Maybe in today's modern world we would not condone the severe actions that he took, but we certainly would not fault his sense of justice. It is precisely because the unmerciful servant had required mercy earlier that he was handed over to be tortured until his unpayable debt was repaid. He was not being punished for his unforgiveness, per se, but rather his unforgiveness nullified the forgiveness he otherwise would have received and he was held accountable for his debt. He could not accept forgiveness if he could not give it.

One of the rarest qualities in the world a person can have is the willingness and ability to truly forgive wrongs. Forgiveness with an air of superiority is pride. Forgiveness as a show is vanity. Forgiveness with conditions is an attempt to bargain with God or someone else. True forgiveness is not even necessarily something that needs to be said. It is something that is done in the heart. For as rare as this quality of the heart is, it is something that God absolutely expects.

While there are many things that make forgiveness difficult, I believe that the problem generally boils down to an issue of pride. It is much easier to forgive the monstrous things others do if we really believe that we ourselves are forgiven monsters. I am not saying that this makes forgiveness easy, but it does make forgiveness more possible. I actually think that that the first step of viewing oneself as in as much need of mercy as the people one despises is the nearly impossible step, and forgiveness is a cakewalk in comparison (note that I am speaking relatively here).

For my part my first reaction is not one of forgiveness when someone wrongs me in even a minor way. I know how hard forgiveness is because it is hard for me. I would much rather dream about revenges that I would not ever commit than spend that same effort forgiving the slight. That is just one more thing for which this monster needs to be forgiven.