The more I seek youI have only twice heard the song with the lyrics above. The first time was in a church service several months back, and when I got home I had to email a few friends to ask them if they were as uncomfortable with the lyrics as I am. The second time was this past Sunday, again in a church service. Simply put, I can't sing the song. If I sing it it sounds like I'm singing to my boyfriend. Since I am a straight man that is a problem. One could argue that if I were a straight woman and felt the same way that would be a problem as well.
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you
I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe
Feel your heart beat
This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
It's overwhelming- Zach Neese ("The More I Seek You")
I discussed this with a few other friends tonight, and one important point that came up in the discussion is that without knowing that this is supposed to be a worship song most people would conclude that this was a slightly erotic love song. Giving the song context might make it a little better, but my mind simply cannot properly go from the physical relationship that the words imply to true worship.
The point of this post is not really to whine about the song, however, but to pose a few questions to the men and to the women who read this blog. Please note that I am asking because I am trying to understand how a song like this could get past the censors, as it were.
To the women, if you sang these lyrics in a worship service would it be worshipful as to God as God, or would it be worshipful to God as a significant other, or perhaps something else? Do you have any problems with seeing God as a significant other (like a boyfriend or a husband)? Do you find the lyrics above imply a physical or romantic relationship? If you were in a church service and heard that song would it occur to you that a man would be uncomfortable with the song?
To the men, do you agree with me or do you feel like this is not structured to be a romantic song? Could you sing it as a worshipful rather than a romantic song? Are there other songs that make you uncomfortable for the same reason I am uncomfortable with this song?
I am also open to input beyond these questions. Golden made an excellent point that she could sing the song from the perspective of a child/parent relationship with God. I really can see that, though I still can't shake the romantic relationship idea strong enough to sing it in that way. If anyone else has any other insights I would love to hear them.
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Reminds me a little of a song by Faith Hill...
I can feel the magic floating in the air | Being with you gets me that way | I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've | Never been this swept away
All my thoughts just seem to | settle on the breeze | When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms | The whole world just fades away | The only thing I hear | Is the beating of your heart
'Cause I can feel you breathe | It's washing over me | Suddenly I'm melting into you | There's nothing left to prove | Baby all we need is just to be | Caught up in the touch | The slow and steady rush | Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be | I can feel you breathe | Just breathe
But it also reminds me of the apostle John, as a very young man, reclining against Jesus' chest at the Last Supper. There is an intimacy there that a modern homophobic society can't accept. (Jews were as much opposed to homosexuality as the most conservative of Americans, but not inclined to infer it from every occasion of affection between two males.)
All said, I think we need to get over our fear of intimacy in general, and especially when it comes to God. Nevertheless, the song in question is not phrased in such a way to help us bridge that gap. Ultimately, it just sounds like a re-purposed Mariah Carey ballad.
To the men, do you agree with me or do you feel like this is not structured to be a romantic song?
I agree that it does seem to have a romantic feel to it, and that does make me a bit uncomfortable. Is it because I have a natural aversion to male intimacy because it's not my thing? Probably. Do I need to get over my fear of intimacy as The Coreman said? Maybe. I just think the main problem is that evokes a different kind of love (eros) than what I want to have with God (agape). So that incongruity strikes me as a bit unsettling, as it's different from what I'm used to in the thousands of other praise songs I've sung/heard.
Could you sing it as a worshipful rather than a romantic song?
I could. Although what's discussed above does come to mind, I could push that away and then sing it as a worship song, possibly by thinking of it as the parent/child relationship that Golden mentioned.
Are there other songs that make you uncomfortable for the same reason I am uncomfortable with this song?
None that come to mind. This is the first time I've ever really thought about this before.
Thanks, this is the type of insight I was looking for!
Something that really sticks out to me in both the song I presented and the song you presented are a few key words and ideas: Being in a close embrace, feeling a heart beat, melting (especially melting), etc. Even accounting for cultural differences between now and Jesus' time I have a hard time with the song.
I have to look a bit closer at the passage about John. I think something does need to be said about the fact that if you have a lot of people reclining on the floor that that by nature leads to more physical closeness than sitting in chairs. Perhaps a millenium of sitting in chairs around tables has made modern people less physically close.
Also, while some songs feel inappropriate due to the cultural context (it's assumed in modern days that singing about being physically close to a guy implies a sexual relationship), I don't think it's wise to ignore those cultural mores. If I feel that singing that song would be about a sexual relationship for cultural reaasons, I still can't sing it because I think I am singing about a sexual relationship.
Regarding intimacy with God, do you think it is best to think of that intimacy in physical terms? I don't really think of it in those terms, but that could be an interesting discussion.
Jason, the agape/eros disconnect is exactly what is bothering me. The problem I have is that an intimate physical relationship immediately implies eros to me.
Yes, the melting is the biggest thing that pushes it over the edge. That term is most commonly used by girls talking about how a particular guy makes them feel. It's what takes the song from "Eh, there's some physical intimacy described here, but that's to be expected in describing a close relationship with God" to "Hmm. Melting? These lyrics are different/interesting/questionable/odd enough that it's worth discussing with others".
I am disturbed by this song and I don't have those feelings for Jesus. I don't think being intimate I would have to lay on his chest and listen to his heart beat.
So, should I ask what your opinion of Song of Solomon is? :)
I'm fine with Song of Solomon. I don't believe it is about God and the Church like some people have believed, but rather an expression of physical love between two betrothed lovers.
My issue with the song isn't regarding prudishness. My issue is regarding the idea of my relationship with God being romantic or (further yet) sexual. :)
Hello! Wow! I cannot believe this song has been out that long?
I see the date of this thread as 2010! Yet here we are in 2022 and I just heard it for the first time two weeks ago in worship at my church! (And I’ve been a regular worshiper for years)!
I immediately felt hugely uncomfortable singing those words! Just so you know, I’m a woman with a very deep love relationship with my God!
The words to this song are too physical and have that sexual connotation! So I just stand there and wait or sing other words in place!
One thing of importance to note is that worship leaders are accountable for the words they “put” in the mouths of their congregations! Most worshippers have NO idea what they’re really saying in 80% of the songs they sing! For example, are you actually willing to lay down your life and follow Him wherever? Most people are not but sing words to that effect in church without knowing that’s what they’re declaring!
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