My parents currently live with my grandmother and great aunt to care for them, as they both need close supervision. Since that is where my parents are, that is where Golden and I went for part of our Christmas break.
Living with older people is nothing like living with younger people. Both women have lost a lot of their hearing ability and short term memory. You can have the same conversation with them five times in a day and not really be sure if the repetition is due to them not hearing you the first four times or if they just forgot the four previous times you talked to them about whatever you are talking about.
My grandmother and great aunt were the only siblings in their family when they were growing up and so they formed a sort of symbiotic relationship. Even when my grandmother married, the relationship did not break down. In fact my great aunt has lived in my grandmother's house for nearly the past twenty years. My grandmother has a very passive personality and my great aunt has a more controlling personality. Each has enabled and grown the other's personality for the last eighty years, so each is pretty strongly set in her role.
The main problem with this arrangement is that my great aunt, with her more controlling and brash personality that she has been enabled to cultivate and grow for her entire life, has a habit of saying and doing the wrong things at the wrong times. She thinks nothing of telling other relatives that they are fat (even if they really are not fat). She occasionally tries to manipulate the workings of the house to get what she wants. She tends to be nosy about everyone in the family's business. She also has acquired the belief that she is has been taking care of my grandmother much more than my parents.
In short, my great aunt can be dealt with in small doses, but to be around her for extended periods of time can be a challenge unless you have formed a symbiotic relationship with her. My parents will probably be taking care of her until around May and I don't envy them. I can't fully blame my aunt, because people are naturally selfish, so everyone will eventually become unbearable if certain aspects are not removed from their personalities. It doesn't make the situation easier, though.
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4 comments:
That is funny, I have a grandma in SD who doesn't have a filter. She also likes to tell relatives how fat they have gotten when we see her once every 3-5 years. She lives alone now and her days revolve around gameshows and TBN.
whoa nelly!
I don't envy your parents, but I admire them. I've seen what my parents have gone through trying to help their parents who don't live with them. To take on a parent and an aunt would be a challenge.
I love my sisters, but if we were to ever live together again we'd have to find a balance in the whole personality thing. We all have over powering personalities, but because I'm the youngest of us I tend to let them have their way when I'm around them. My kids would think I had a labotomy if I was in the environment all the time! I don't change who I am around them, I just don't reveal all of me sometimes. It's easier that way when we're in our "moods!" But then other times all is fair in love and war!
My favorite part of our time with Dust's great aunt was when Dust's mother slipped her a tylenol pm without her knowing it. Great aunt slept almost all afternoon and evening. I thought it was hilarious.
That IS TOO FUNNY, Golden...I remember trying something similar with children's benedryl when the boys were toddlers...(remember this one...you might find it helpful someday)
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