just $74! (after $25 mail-in rebate)

I hate rebates. I wish a law existed that outlawed the extensive usage of rebates. I always get very cynical when I fill out rebate forms because it is so obvious that the companies involved do everything legally possible to keep me from actually completing the rebate process. Since we just purchased quite a bit of electronics, I just filled out and sent three rebates a couple of days ago. A typical rebate form reads something like this.

To complete this rebate send in the following information:

1. The attached form filled out in capital letters with an electric blue pen between midnight and 1 AM on the third Wednesday of the month.
2. Your one and only receipt.
3. The UPC from the packaging, which is located at the most difficult place for scissors to access on the box.
4. The serial number, which is only located in one location in tiny print on the back of the product.
5. Your signature, which removes our responsibility regarding the quality of this product and/or the receipt of your rebate.
6. Your email address so that we can add your name to every mailing list that we can think of.
7. Your phone number, which we absolutely promise not to use or sell to our affiliates unless you signed the form as requested in step 5.
8. Your social security number and all bank account numbers for no reason whatsoever.
9. A sample of your blood. (This step has been made easier by the sharp edges of our packaging. Just drip some blood from the paper cuts you inevitably received onto the aforementioned form.)

Please note that no rebate will be sent unless all of the above requested information is included. Even if it is, we may claim we did not receive your receipt or UPC so we do not have to bother sending the rebate.

Send to:
90395TE54 87777 Reb Ret 83929403
PO Box 837294553
Anycity, US 99999

Rebate must be postmarked yesterday. Please allow 4 to 6 months processing time.