La La Land by All Star United:
I've got my prayer cloth collection in a Jesus jar
I've got the Holy Ghost ridin' in the back of my car
Sometimes He gives a little tickle I go "hardee har har"
Ain't it grand, when you're livin' in a la la land
My Jesus decal does quite a trick
Right above my dashboard I stick it
A good luck charm
It keeps me from harm
And saves me from speeding tickets
I can't stand seeing shlock marketed to me because of my personal beliefs about God. Walk into any Christian bookstore and you see the products that I am talking about. Stuff you would never take for free being sold at incredible markups because they contain a Bible verse. Here are some favorites:
- Bible Bars: In case you were concerned that your candy bars weren't Scriptural enough buy Bible Bars. They are completely kosher and contain products from God's chosen land. (Psst... don't bother researching whether this concept is actually Biblical.)
- Testamints: Why? Because Altoids and Certs don't have Bible verses on the labels.
- Christian Car Sign: People will understand why you cut them off when they read this.
- Cheesy T-Shirts: It's hard to pick one to link to.
- Jabez Stuff: If you buy this bear God will expand your territory.
- Apocalyptic Books: I have heard several people point out that the Left Behind series is seriously lacking from a literary standpoint. I have also had people encourage me to read the books because they are about the rapture. I should be careful about my judgments because I haven't read the books, but did there really have to be ten of them?
I think I may need to tone down my cynicism a notch or two. People like being around optimists more.
7 comments:
I hear you on most of these, but did you HAVE to pick on the testamints? I think every church should be armed with them at every door. Ushers should shake hands with people and give them a testamint! NOT only is it reading material while you are waiting between services, it benefits those around you too! Think about it! They could have it with the sign in sheets in every pew, please sign your name and take a testamint! I think I have some valid ideas here!
i still think it would be funny to wear a WWJDFAKB t-shirt.
what would jesus do for a klondike bar?
Perhaps Testamints would be good to hand out ina church. Never thought about that. :)
Do they have WWJDFAKB shirts? That sounds familiar, but I don't know if that is just something we joked about on a Thursday night or what.
No! Testamints is not a good idea. ever! If they are worried about bad breath tic-tacs or certs will work just fine.
Yes, those shirts are real, but you won't find them at a xian store.
I am proud to say that I have not read one "Left Behind" book.
I wouldn't mind a free breath mint. They should sit them beside the coffee in S.S. class.
I wholeheartedly agree with you...and on this subject, I don't think you can tone it down! LOL!
As far as the prophecy stuff goes....I have been force-fed so much that has not been real...I just take a "When that time comes, that time comes" approach. Besides, if we have accepted Christ personally....why should we fear the end of the world?
The reference to ASU made me go listen to that album again. Good stuff, lots of memories there.
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