cat crap fever

Now that Golden is pregnant I have taken on the responsibility of cleaning the cat's litter box. Actually, it might be more accurate to say the responsibility was forced on me due to Golden pointing out to me the possible complications that a pregnant woman can have if she is exposed to used kitty litter.

Up until this point I was dealing with the cat decently. I didn't mess with her and she didn't mess with me. Now I am messing with her messes. There are a couple of reasons why that isn't any fun.

First, I would like to know how the digestive system of such a small cat (she was the runt of the litter) can process so much waste. Either she is eating and drinking too much or she is passing major organs every couple of days. I am sure I saw a kidney yesterday.

Second, the cat's urine doesn't smell great when it is in the litter box, but to scoop the stuff out is to release an odor on that area of the house that feels more like a curse than a smell. The throat heaves, the eyes water, and the face uncontrollably grimaces when that foul concoction spreads.

I don't remember this smell and I don't remember all the waste before I was cleaning her litter box, so I am convinced she can control it and is out to get me. It isn't paranoia if it's true.

tyra banks in a fat suit

A few weeks ago I was flipping through channels and I came across the Tyra Banks show. Generally, this is not a show that would hold my interest for more than three seconds, but the description of this episode kept me watching. Apparently Ms. Banks was going to put on a fat suit that was going to make her look 200 pounds heavier in a less-than-flattering way and walk around in a few public places. I must confess that I expected some morbid pleasure out of seeing a former supermodel treated less than fairly. A very evil side of me figured that Tyra would get her just desserts for helping to propogate an unhealthy image of what beauty is.

Within a few seconds of her walking down the street the camera showed three women chuckling condescendingly as they passed her. As she walked into a store she generally got equally bad treatment. The cameras then followed her on three blind dates where two guys had a hard time being geniunely congenial, but a third was at least outwardly kind.

Tyra's reaction to her treatment was pretty harsh. She railed against some of the comments that were made and she cried with some of her guests about the treatment that she received. She also displayed shock about some of what she saw and experienced.

I must confess that I am not always perfect. I sometimes treat people badly for stupid reasons. I think everyone does, but that is hardly a good excuse. I have even made negative comments about others' appearances before, but appearance never had anything to do with why I made the comments (as if that mattered). I have never been able to understand why some people mistreat others specifically because of their appearance. In watching Tyra's show, though, I think I have come to understand the meanness a little more.

The key to my confusion has always been empathy. How can people be so heartless when they see how much they hurt others? In some cases, I know that certain evil people really do get some sick pleasure out of hurting others, but this has to be a minority of the cases. I think the majority of it is that people are generally only as nice as their empathy demands. It is easy to be kind to people when you can put yourself in their shoes but if you can't the natural reaction is to think less of the person who isn't like you. Tyra was shocked by the behavior simply because she had not yet tried to walk in a larger person's shoes. Had she gone through similar torment for other stupid reasons earlier in life I don't think that she would have been so surprised. Likewise, had the people who laughed at her been able to empathize with the pain they might cause perhaps they would have reacted differently.

I think could be part of what Jesus was talking about when he said that even tax collectors love those who love them. It makes me wonder if I can't fully understand the love I am expected to portray until I do something like what Tyra did. Should I keep from grooming myself for a week to understand with humility how people treat the homeless? Should I don a fat suit as well to understand with humility how someone 200 pounds heavier than myself would be treated? I hope and pray that I am not so vain that such steps are necessary. God will have to help me figure that out.

crosseyed

I kniht I tog pu no eht gnorw edis fo eht deb yadot. Ti yam evah neeb woh etal ti saw erofeb I tnew ot peels tsal thgin. Ti yam eb ym sessalc gnissem htiw ym eludehcs. Ti yam eb taht I t'nod ekil Yraunaj. Revetahw ti si, I tsuj t'nod leef ekil I evah ym sgniraeb thgiarts.

Od uoy reve leef ekil Ecila retfa ehs tnew hguorht eht gnikool ssalg eht tsrif emit (dna ton nehw ehs emac kcab tuo)? Taht si tahw yadot si ekil. I epoh taht ecno I teg emos enieffac ni em sgniht lliw egnahc a tib. Ro it dluoc tsuj ekam em erom ekawa dna llits dedaeh ni eht gnorw noitcerid. I t'nod kniht I nac peek siht pu os Ll'i pots gniyrt.

so it begins

On Monday I had my first official class at an official school for an official degree in over five years. Ironically, I expect this process will last another five years. The first two will probably be worse than the following three. The learning has already started on the first day, though. Here's what I learned first-hand so far:

• Double-check which building the class is in next time. I didn't.
• When reaching into an attaché assume that there is a rogue paper laying in wait to slice open a finger. I got a serious paper cut fifteen minutes before class. Blood all down my hand.
• KU Edwards classrooms double as meat freezers when they are not in use. I'm not kidding. It's cold.
• Make sure not to drink too much before a three and a half hour long class. Even with a rest break midway through the class it is hard to pay attention when you feel like you're going to explode.
• Speaking of three and a half hours. That's a loooong time to listen to a lecture on managerial economics.
• When I think about something like school a lot, it is about all I can talk about on my blog.
• When buying a textbook from half.com, send a message to the seller to make sure they got the shipment request. The person I bought my book from didn't. They sent it priority mail on Monday. I had an online quiz on the first two chapters due today. I was fortunate that someone else in the class was willing to scan the first two chapters of the book for me to study before I receive my book.
• I should have done this long ago.

a must have for every christian

La La Land by All Star United:

I've got my prayer cloth collection in a Jesus jar
I've got the Holy Ghost ridin' in the back of my car
Sometimes He gives a little tickle I go "hardee har har"
Ain't it grand, when you're livin' in a la la land

My Jesus decal does quite a trick
Right above my dashboard I stick it
A good luck charm
It keeps me from harm
And saves me from speeding tickets

I can't stand seeing shlock marketed to me because of my personal beliefs about God. Walk into any Christian bookstore and you see the products that I am talking about. Stuff you would never take for free being sold at incredible markups because they contain a Bible verse. Here are some favorites:

• Bible Bars: In case you were concerned that your candy bars weren't Scriptural enough buy Bible Bars. They are completely kosher and contain products from God's chosen land. (Psst... don't bother researching whether this concept is actually Biblical.)
• Testamints: Why? Because Altoids and Certs don't have Bible verses on the labels.
• Christian Car Sign: People will understand why you cut them off when they read this.
• Cheesy T-Shirts: It's hard to pick one to link to.
• Jabez Stuff: If you buy this bear God will expand your territory.
• Apocalyptic Books: I have heard several people point out that the Left Behind series is seriously lacking from a literary standpoint. I have also had people encourage me to read the books because they are about the rapture. I should be careful about my judgments because I haven't read the books, but did there really have to be ten of them?

I think I may need to tone down my cynicism a notch or two. People like being around optimists more.

home owners' gestapo

When we purchased our house, I didn't view our home owner's association as a big deal. There were several houses in the neighborhood in poor repair, so I believed that the association had little power. I was also impressed that for less than $200 a year we got spectacular garbage service.

Today I still believe everything above. I also think, though, that home owner's associations can breed stupid rules. We got a letter a couple of days ago commenting that people should not park on the street in our neighborhood. This is supposed to assist fire trucks, ambulances, and snow plows. I understand this to some extent for the emergency vehicles, but our street doesn't get plowed until a day after any major snow storm on average, anyway, so the plows are more or less meaningless to me.

The main complication with not parking on the street is that the majority of the houses in my neighborhood don't have large garages or driveways. Even after the letter went out most everyone on my street still parks on the road, including myself. I'll be careful to leave enough room for emergency vehicles, but it is too inconvenient to always park in the driveway. It blocks Golden's car in the garage.

Here are some other rules that I have seen my neighbors flagrantly violate.

• Peeling paint
• High grass/weeds
• Animal waste left in yard
• Trash bags/cans left outside house on a day other than trash day
• Fence in poor repair (most of the fences in my neighborhood are rather old, including my own)
• Inoperable car left on property

Also, something that I haven't looked for, but my neighbor across the street probably violates is that we are not supposed to have vehicles with expired tags on our property. He lives alone and has four cars in front of his house at all times. He is in his seventies and I think that he simply accumulated the cars over the past twenty years or so and didn't want to get rid of them.

Interestingly, there are no rules that I have seen about ugly yard ornaments. I think it is time to purchase some plastic flamingos.

four days to go

I start classes on Monday. This is the first time that I am officially a student in over five years.

Yesterday I paid my tuition for the first semester. I think that was the first indication to me how serious this is. When I got home and checked my personal email I had an email from one of my professors saying that an assignment for the first day's class is on a blackboard at the school. That was the second indication that this is serious. I don't know why he didn't bother emailing the assignment instead of only having it put up at the school. The next indication will be when I receive the textbook that I ordered two weeks ago but haven't received yet.

As I said before, I know that this is something that I am supposed to do. I don't know why I know it. I just do. As the responsibility of school approaches and I still have work, family, and church to consider, I am starting to feel my schedule being a little closed in. I know I am going to need God's and Golden's support. I am also probably going to need reminded every once in a while that I am supposed to be doing that. I'll leave that part in God's hands.

searching for don knows what

In the past week I just finished two books by Don Miller--Blue Like Jazz and Searching For God Knows What. I have mentioned several of the concepts in the first book on this site already because that has been what we have been using in Sunday School. The second of the two books does have some equally interesting points.

The point of the book seems simply to point out and illustrate that Christianity is a relationship and not a formula. This disagrees with much of Christian pop culture, but lines up with what the Bible indicates. We don't arbitrarily pray a certain way to have God expand our territory. We approach God as a son or a bride in love and reverence.

As an illustration of formula versus relationship Miller mentioned a Reed College student who read the majority of the Bible for a religion class and approached him with questions about Christianity. This student was trying to compare a tract he had to what he found in Scripture and was confused about how the tract reduced the book of Romans to five bullet points, while there seemed to be much more to the book than what the tract indicated. How were people without that tract supposed to understand that there were five important truths literally hidden in the book? Paul should've underlined them or something.

Going deeper into the relationship description, Miller explained that Christ appealed to those who had little on earth because a relationship with Christ means giving up everything. At least one of his stories about someone who had nothing (a bucktoothed kid everyone picked on at his school) hit me in the gut like some songs hit Golden.

In short, this book joins Mere Christianity and The Great Divorce on my list of books that have had the greatest impact of my understanding of my relationship with God. It's worth a read.

just $74! (after $25 mail-in rebate)

I hate rebates. I wish a law existed that outlawed the extensive usage of rebates. I always get very cynical when I fill out rebate forms because it is so obvious that the companies involved do everything legally possible to keep me from actually completing the rebate process. Since we just purchased quite a bit of electronics, I just filled out and sent three rebates a couple of days ago. A typical rebate form reads something like this.

To complete this rebate send in the following information:

1. The attached form filled out in capital letters with an electric blue pen between midnight and 1 AM on the third Wednesday of the month.
2. Your one and only receipt.
3. The UPC from the packaging, which is located at the most difficult place for scissors to access on the box.
4. The serial number, which is only located in one location in tiny print on the back of the product.
5. Your signature, which removes our responsibility regarding the quality of this product and/or the receipt of your rebate.
6. Your email address so that we can add your name to every mailing list that we can think of.
7. Your phone number, which we absolutely promise not to use or sell to our affiliates unless you signed the form as requested in step 5.
8. Your social security number and all bank account numbers for no reason whatsoever.
9. A sample of your blood. (This step has been made easier by the sharp edges of our packaging. Just drip some blood from the paper cuts you inevitably received onto the aforementioned form.)

Please note that no rebate will be sent unless all of the above requested information is included. Even if it is, we may claim we did not receive your receipt or UPC so we do not have to bother sending the rebate.

Send to:
90395TE54 87777 Reb Ret 83929403
PO Box 837294553
Anycity, US 99999

Rebate must be postmarked yesterday. Please allow 4 to 6 months processing time.

the spendthrift tightwad

This is the first post that I have typed on our new laptop. It actually probably surprises people who know me well that I am willing to spend the money on a laptop since I can be incredibly tight with my money. This behavior mostly grew out of my deep understanding growing up that once I have spent my money I no longer have that money. It is a very simple concept that people only seem to learn when they have no other choice. I am sure that had I grown up in a family that allowed me to spend more I would have problems with the concept too.

In the face of my thrifty ways, though, I am still willing to make occasional large purchases. I think this comes from the fact that I like to get something worthwhile out of the money that I have. I don't have many habits that require frequently spending money (smoking, Starbucks, etc), but I like to be able to take advantage of some of the money that I save by not having these habits.

The main reason that we bought the laptop, though, is that it will probably come in handy as I am taking classes over the next few years. If I am going to be away for a weekend, I want to still be able to work on papers and do online research. Also, Golden and I were clashing over the home PC. It was getting hard for both of us to get time to update our blogs.

This could be my last big purchase for a while, though. I hear babies are expensive.

everybody farts

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this gas, well hang on
Don't let yourself go,
'Cause everybody cuts and everybody farts sometimes

Sometimes everything smells wrong. It's not time to rip along
When your day is not alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much holding in,
Well hang on

'Cause everybody farts. Don't take comfort in your wind
Everybody farts. Don't throw your wind. Oh, no.
Don't throw your wind
If you fart like you're alone, now, now, now, you are alone

When you're on your own with this wind,
The days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this gas to hang on

Well, everybody farts sometimes,
Everybody cuts. And everybody farts sometimes
And everybody farts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody farts. Now you are alone

[Original Lyrics - site contains popups]

checked

After every event on my mom's side of the family there is some attempted exchange of money. It used to be that my grandmother would try to give my mom money for something (like doing her hair) or for no reason at all. It was always a relatively small amount, but an amount that was still significant to give away (like $20). The attempted cash handoff usually started a small debate where each person would try to shove the money into the other's hand. Both were persistent and often the person who ended up with the money didn't realize it at first because it was slipped into her purse, or behind an item on her dresser, or underneath the decanter of her coffeemaker.

This tradition has now been passed on to me and my sister. When we visit our parents they pay for too much while we are there and try to give us money as we leave. I don't think it would bother me if my parents were rich, but they aren't.

This leads me to a discussion I had with my mom this past weekend. She gave both myself and my sister checks for the same amount over Christmas. I told my mom over the phone that I was going to shred mine. She told me that she would be upset at me if I did this. That is not what I am concerned about, though. I know that once she finds out that I have shredded the check that she will mail me a new one, which will make this even more of an expense on her time and money. My conscience is keeping me from wanting to cash the check, though.

I think I am going to have to find out what my sister did so that we have some consistency in our actions. If she can find a way around this maybe I can too.

annual review

It is annual review time where I work. In years past I had to fill out page after page of how I thought I ranked in specific skills and abilities. This year I just had to provide three lists similar to what I have included below.

Accomplishments During 2005

• Single-handedly saved the company $25 million in ways that are impossible to verify
• Posted 159 original and not-so-original thoughts on my blog
• Mastered the art of using a lot of words without saying a whole lot
• Worked with a group that performed almost daily system and network stress tests (played Quake III)
• Learned to accept myself the way I am (and not not strive for anything greater)
• Kept up with something like 15 TV shows without the aid of a DVR
• Didn't get fired, laid off, or quit

Summary of Strengths

• Can now bench press 35 pounds
• Can whip out a wicked pun in no time
• Can figure out which side is my left in just two tries
• Can walk and chew gum (just not at the same time)
• Always honest (except right now)
• Laid back
• Uptight
• Loyal (this is actually one I used)

Areas for Improvement

• Check with Golden (someone at work gave me that idea)
• Need to stop using wicked puns
• Nunchucks skills
• Bowhunting skills
• Computer hacking skills
• Most importantly, I need to figure out how to raise a kid

the peanut gallery

This could probably be a "Christmas pt 5" post, but enough is enough.

When Golden and I flew to and from Pittsburgh over the holiday we had layovers both ways. This isn't ideal, but I figured that it wouldn't be a big issue. There were no major snags, but there was one unexpected consequence. We are now completely stocked with small packets of peanuts.

I would like to know how airlines determine what snacks to include on a flight. Southwest used to provide a box of snacks, but now they hand out peanuts. Last I flew United and US Air they both provided pretzels. Midwest gave me a cookie when I flew with them. I am never really sure if I should be thankful for the snack or note to the stewardess that upgrading to an entire can of Coke is worth a couple of bags of peanuts to me.

I also think it is funny that Midwest advertises the cookie they give on flights in their commercials like that is a good reason to buy a ticket with them. A cookie is better than pretzels or peanuts, but I buy tickets based on price and time of the flight and not on a $2 cookie. There are probably people who buy tickets because of the cookie.

Anyway, Golden now has one more source of protein for her snacking. She'll be sick of peanuts shortly if she isn't already.

sidetracked - christmas pt 4

On Wednesday between Christmas and New Year's we went to the mall with my cousin, my sister, and her boyfriend. Most of the time at the mall was spent eating rather than shopping, though.

The discussion got into the strength and relevance of individual churches to relay truth, or at least that is my interpretation of where the conversation went. I enjoyed the conversation, but I did notice that I occasionally lost track of what I was trying to say when I spoke. Because of this I discovered something about myself that I did not like, but that Golden enthusiastically verified. I have a horrible tendency to ramble and go down irrelevant paths in my conversations when I don't know the right words to relay my point. I didn't totally dominate the conversations, but I probably spoke the most of anyone there due of this problem.

As a stupid example, if someone asked me whether I like reality shows I might say something like the following.

"Yes, I do. Well, not all of them. I like reality shows because they give insight into how people think. Some don't though. I like trying to figure out how people think because I don't tend to think like most other people, so their logic doesn't follow the same steps that mine does. Oh yeah, back to whether I like reality shows. I like the Amazing Race because it tests people's abilities more than popularity. That is the problem that I have with Survivor. I do like Survivor too, though, because people's personalities come out in that show. I don't usually watch Wife Swap or Fear Factor, but I don't know all the reasons why. I can explain my feelings about American Idol more clearly, though. I think... "

Exhausted yet?

sisters - christmas pt 3

My parents currently live with my grandmother and great aunt to care for them, as they both need close supervision. Since that is where my parents are, that is where Golden and I went for part of our Christmas break.

Living with older people is nothing like living with younger people. Both women have lost a lot of their hearing ability and short term memory. You can have the same conversation with them five times in a day and not really be sure if the repetition is due to them not hearing you the first four times or if they just forgot the four previous times you talked to them about whatever you are talking about.

My grandmother and great aunt were the only siblings in their family when they were growing up and so they formed a sort of symbiotic relationship. Even when my grandmother married, the relationship did not break down. In fact my great aunt has lived in my grandmother's house for nearly the past twenty years. My grandmother has a very passive personality and my great aunt has a more controlling personality. Each has enabled and grown the other's personality for the last eighty years, so each is pretty strongly set in her role.

The main problem with this arrangement is that my great aunt, with her more controlling and brash personality that she has been enabled to cultivate and grow for her entire life, has a habit of saying and doing the wrong things at the wrong times. She thinks nothing of telling other relatives that they are fat (even if they really are not fat). She occasionally tries to manipulate the workings of the house to get what she wants. She tends to be nosy about everyone in the family's business. She also has acquired the belief that she is has been taking care of my grandmother much more than my parents.

In short, my great aunt can be dealt with in small doses, but to be around her for extended periods of time can be a challenge unless you have formed a symbiotic relationship with her. My parents will probably be taking care of her until around May and I don't envy them. I can't fully blame my aunt, because people are naturally selfish, so everyone will eventually become unbearable if certain aspects are not removed from their personalities. It doesn't make the situation easier, though.

narnia - christmas pt 2

Before we went to Pittsburgh to visit my family we visited Golden's family south of Springfield. As vacation trips go it was relatively uneventful, but one thing that we did do was go to see The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Ever since I first read the series in sixth grade I have been a big fan. None of the books are really epics, but that is mostly because they are written for kids. They are all very creative and I do think that a lot of the parallels to real life in C. S. Lewis' writing in the series illustrate some powerful points.

For as much as I like the series, I have never been incredibly fond of the first book in the series. I think this is due to the fact that this book was written without the intention of being part of a series and so it feels a little incongruous from most of the rest of the Narnia books.

The book The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe does have the distinction of being the only book that I can recall ever made me cry. I don't ever cry over problems that a fictional character goes through, but when Aslan is killed I am very able to see myself as the Edmund for whom the sacrifice is required. The parallel that Lewis drew there is very strong to me. I didn't cry in the movie, but I will honestly say that I had to fight it a little.

Going into the movie I was concerned that there might be problems making a children's fantasy not look too childish for moviegoers who saw The Lord of the Rings in the past couple of years. I was impressed with the quality of the movie, though, and I thought it stayed reasonably true to the books. Of course, I'm not the expert on that. Dash will have to weigh in once he has seen the movie.

the airport - christmas pt 1

I am going to post a few observations from my Christmas break over the next week or so. I thought about doing this in chronological order, but I decided against that since the airport incidents are freshest in my mind right now.

Golden and I flew Southwest to and from Pittsburgh. Southwest has a policy that the first third of the people to get boarding passes get an A on their pass. The next third get a B and the next third get a C. People with an A get to board first and get the first pick of seats. People with a B go on next and people with a C get the last choice of seats. If you are in a group and you all have C tickets your group will almost certainly be broken up.

Both the flights there and back went through the Chicago Midway airport. Of the four legs we flew (KC to Chicago, Chicago to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh to Chicago, and Chicago to KC) only on the stretch from Chicago to Pittsburgh did we get A tickets. This seemed stupid because I printed the tickets out ahead of time online. There were several people that I spoke with in the B lines we were in that said this was the first time they ever got a B when printing online. It turned out not to matter much because we got the same exact seats on every flight without trouble. I do think, though, that the ability to print your boarding passes ahead of time really screws this up because I got B tickets for the return flights the day before we left. If you don't happen to be near an online connection with a printer exactly 24 hours before your flight you are screwed.

After spending most of yesterday either on a flight or in the B line waiting for a flight we got into Kansas City in the late afternoon. When we waited for our bags, though, only one of the two made it onto the carousel.

When we went to the baggage claim desk to file a complaint we got to hear a conversation between the lady at the desk and the woman directly in front of us in line. Apparently the woman in front of us in line was missing clothing, makeup, paperwork, and gifts that were important to her. She rudely made the point that these were important to her I guess under the assumption that making the lady at the desk feel bad would make the luggage miraculously appear. I wanted to point out to the person in front of me that everyone in that line was missing something important, but most of us know that being a jerk about it doesn't help anyone. I wanted to, but I didn't.

We filed a report for our luggage and were given a paper with a phone number to call if we didn't receive our bag in five days. That length of time made me a little nervous, but there was nothing else that could be done. Around 11 PM we got a call saying that the bag would be dropped off between 1 AM and 3 AM. If we didn't want them to knock at the door we would have to leave a note asking them to leave the bag outside. At six this morning I saw the bag on the porch and rolled it in. I am so happy that I can now brush my teeth.