Recently at our young adult group at church we were asked to think of a time when we had an "Aha!" moment about knowing God loves us. Immediately, a guy pointed out that he never really needed an "Aha!" moment because he never really worried that God did not love him. This did not get a good reaction in the group, but as I thought about it I really understood what he was talking about.
There have not been many times in my life when I worried whether anyone loved me. There may not have been any. I think part of this is that I have always known that there are people who love me. I think a much bigger part of this is that I do not have as strong a need to be loved as many other people do. Though I am sure there are exceptions, I think this is generally a gender issue where women are more likely to want to know that God loves them than men do.
I noticed that when guys in the group talked about when they determined that God loved them, it was not really about love. It had more to do with God having their back than anything else. If I had provided any examples, I would have provided one of these typical guy responses. I really felt like the men and women in the room were answering two different questions when they discussed how they knew that God loved them.
I think this can be enlightening regarding some of the general differences between men and women. I would probably never have even thought to ask the question of when did you determine that God loves you. To some others it may be the most important question in the world.
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5 comments:
I think you have a good point. I know i feel God's love when I feel he's got my back.
"This did not get a good reaction in the group,"
This did not get a good reaction from the group, because it was said in a high and mighty way, that questioned ones faith if they ever struggled with feeling God's love.
This bothered me because I have a friend dealing with these issues right now and I don't think playing the "I'm more spiritual than you" card will help his situation.
"...it was not really about love. It had more to do with God having their back than anything else."
...so are you saying that this is not a valid form of love. Loyalty, support, and encouragement (aka "having one's back")I think is one way that I show love to people I care about. Isn't that what a father does with his sons? Is it not a breakthrough when we experience that love from our Heavenly Father?
I'll be straight. While it sounded high and mighty, I actually don't think it was meant that way. The person who said it has a habit of sounding high and mighty, but I am starting to think that he doesn't always mean it.
"so are you saying that this is not a valid form of love."
No, but it is not the meaning of love that I felt was implied in the question. I may be wrong, but I took the question to bit more touchy-feely than that.
My point is really that I thought there were two different definitions of love being used and I was not getting the vibe that anyone else had the same perception.
I think the definition of love will vary from one person to the next. Not every woman sees loves in the same way either, although they tend to see it in a similar fashion, compared to men.
want to clarify something. I don't think anyone misinterpreted me, but there is that possibility.
I am definitely not saying that all men are a certain way and the all women are another way. I am saying that there are statistically significant differences in how most individuals from each sex view love and also in their need for love.
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