eleven

Top Ten

Reasons eleven is not the smallest positive whole number

10. Ten 9. Nine 8. Eight 7. Seven 6. Six

5. Five 4. Four 3. Three 2. Two 1. One

coke vs pepsi

Most people seem to have a preference between Coke and Pepsi. I used to think I did too. When I was growing up I thought I liked Coke (and Dr. Pepper) the most of all soft drinks. For a period after I graduated college I determined that maybe I liked Pepsi more. Now I think it is a draw.

I think that I have mentioned before that I get free pop at work. For lunch I usually have a cola (either Coke or Pepsi) which I pick based on what I am thirsty for. I had noticed that I would go through periods where I wanted Coke and periods where I wanted Pepsi, and I couldn't make sense of my changing tastes.

After much soul searching I found a correlation with what I am craving and what is available to me in my home fridge. When Golden has stocked the kitchen with Coke, I drink Pepsi at work. When Golden has purchased Pepsi, I drink Coke.

When I was growing up, I craved Coke because my mom bought more Pepsi than Coke. She bought no Dr. Pepper, so that made me think I liked it the most. Golden has gone through Coke and Pepsi periods, and during an extended time when she got mostly Coke, I had determined I liked Pepsi more. Now I know that my cravings are based more on the theory of the grass being greener on the other side than on my actual tastes. It kind of makes me question a lot of the preferences I think I have. Maybe I am not the person I think I am.

blockbusted

Last Friday Golden and I were in the middle of one of our Blockbuster online movies when we started to get some skipping on the disc. By now I know that this sometimes means there is a smudge on the disc rather than a scratch so I pulled it out and inspected it a little closer. At this point I knew we wouldn't be finishing the movie that night because the disc literally had a dent in it where someone had obviously set something on top of the disc. As frustrating as this is, it's a fact of life and we can live with it every once in a while. We submitted the notification to Blockbuster that we had a damaged or unplayable disc, requested the same movie back, and sent the movie in.

Fast forward to yesterday. Golden checked the mail and realized that we had two movies in the mail from Blockbuster, one of which was the one we had tried to watch last weekend. Upon further inspection, though, we found that Blockbuster sent us the EXACT SAME DISC that we had mailed back last weekend. Up to this point I have been very careful about notifying Blockbuster when a disc is damaged because I thought they would automatically remove it from circulation (because it doesn't make sense to send a damaged disc to a customer and get the customer unhappy with your service), but now I am not so sure.

I submitted a request to Blockbuster online asking how I can avoid these issues in the future. The response I got back was to put a note in the mailer when I send the disc back that states that the disc is damaged. I am still very happy with the overall service that Blockbuster provides and I will be sending notes about future damaged discs, but there has got to be a better way.

If I get the same disc in the mail a third time after doing this my opinions of the service may change a bit.

what's-his-name

My mind plays tricks on me in many different ways, but perhaps the most frustrating is that it does not allow me to quickly recall names. Sometimes it doesn't allow me to recall names at all. I am not just talking about people I have met only once. I am talking about people I have known for years. This combined with my inability to remember scheduled events can put me in sensitive situations. The conversation below used to be pretty common.

Person whose name I can't recall: Hi, Dust. How are you?
Me: Fine... you. Um, how are you doing?
Person whose name I can't recall: Great.
Me: So, how is that thing you were going to do?
Person whose name I can't recall: Thing? Are you being sarcastic? I am getting married today. That is why I am wearing a tux.
Me: (Noticing the tux for the first time) Of course I am being sarcastic. HA, HA, HA! Maybe we should continue this conversation through email. What's your address?
Person whose name I can't recall: My first name at my last name dot com.

I used to get into conversations like that. Now I just ignore people. It works pretty well, too, like in the following example.

Person whose name I can't recall: Hi, Dust. How are you?
Me:
Person whose name I can't recall: Fine. Be that way, jerk.

Actually, my real defense mechanism that I have formed is to not use people's names in short conversations unless it is necessary so I don't set myself up for the awkward pause when I inevitably forget someone's name.

As another side effect of my condition I have the hardest time remembering actor and actress names for quiz games. For example, I have a hard time remembering Christopher Walken's name, but I can remember that he has similar features to Jon Voight. When referencing Christopher Walken, I typically call him "that guy that kind of looks like Jon Voight." Don't ask how I can remember Jon Voight's name better than Christopher Walken's, but I can. Apparently few others see the resemblance because that tactic has yet to work.

So, when you call me by name, don't be surprised if I don't respond in kind. If it offends you, then be that way, jerk.

[Addendum: 4/25/06]

I am providing links for Mr. Walken and Mr. Voight below, because the links I added in the comments open within the small window.

• Christopher Walken
• Jon Voight

it's only a day

Monday
New beginnings start
I have got too much to do
It's only a day

Tuesday
Dead day of a sort
Still most of my work ahead
Better than Monday

Wednesday
Now over the hump
In the middle of it all
Better than Monday

Thursday
Light seen from afar
Most of the tunnel behind
Better than Monday

Friday
Happiness overwhelms
Dreaming of gleeful nothings
Better than Monday

Saturday
Careless and lazy
Happy there's nothing to do
Better than Monday

Sunday
Silent noise surrounds
Sitting with nothing to do
Better than Monday

my own little world

Being a guy, I can usually segment my life into pieces. I have my work piece, my school piece, my at home watching TV piece, etc. Usually I can keep each of these portions of my life from bleeding into each other. There are some exceptions to this, though.

The past few days I have not been able to keep up with my responsibilities at work because people have been out, and I have been trying to figure when I am going to find time to write my next paper for school. Over some time, this means that I have been having some stress spill over into my at home life.

Golden can usually tell when this is happening. When I shore myself in my recliner and resist any suggestion to do something outside the house, that means that I am trying to retreat into my home world away from the junk that is happening elsewhere. The big problem is that I can't hide out forever. I eventually have to go back to work and school and making myself comfortable at home makes the process more difficult.

I think this is part of why I have always had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Bed represents safety and lack of responsibility. When I get up I have to be responsible, on my toes, and accept the possibility of failing at what I do. Sometimes, even a nightmare feels safer than that.

achoo

For most of last week I felt like I had the flu. It wasn't because I had the flu or a cold, but because I mowed the lawn that Sunday.

For as long as I can remember I have had allergy problems in the Spring. It isn't as bad as it used to be, but there are certain things that set my allergies off. One is getting up close and personal with the tree in the backyard when it is blossoming.

On Monday last week I was genuinely concerned that maybe I had come down with something because my muscles were sore due to me doing such a workout in such bad shape. This wasn't the worst of it, though. It was Friday (and I finally was nowhere near the tree) by the time I got past the head cold symptoms that the pollen from that tree ignited.

It could be worse, though. The blossoms could be out longer than a week or two.

the capital

Golden and I visited Topeka for a short vacation over a long weekend. My impression of the city is it is a good place to visit for three days, but a person would probably have trouble filling a week there. Good thing we weren't there for a week. It was really a good place for us to get away without getting too far away.

We arrived at the Ramada on Thursday night and finalized our plans for the weekend. The view wasn't the greatest from the room because we faced away from the city. I didn't expect much of a view anyway, though, and most everything else about the hotel was good.

The next morning we headed for the capitol building. We entered from the garage underneath the building because this is the visitor entry. We had to go through a literal maze of hallways below the building to get into it. At some points I thought we wandered into some abandoned basement room. I cannot believe much thought went into the design of that entryway.


We started a tour but skipped out on it as an entire elementary class was on the tour. That was for the best, as we saw pretty much everything we wanted to see.


That afternoon after a turkey sandwich lunch at the Sunflower Bakery we went to the Kansas History Museum. The first section of the museum was a display of Kansas in the movies. Apparently the last time Kansas was in real movie was in the 50s. It was a lot of Westerns. The rest of the museum was dedicated either to the history of the formation of the state or artifacts from the times since the state's creation. There was also a train that we could walk through, but only through one of the cars.


On Saturday the weather report called for severe but occasional thunderstorms. Fortunately, we didn't run into any during the day. Our first stop was at the zoo. Golden covered the zoo on her site, so if you can check that out there. Here are some pictures of that, though. I will say that the zoo is rather small and quaint, but we enjoyed it quite a bit.


For lunch we went to Johnny Corino's. We liked the Italian cuisine, but found out that there is one less than two miles from our house. I figured we were trying something that we wouldn't be getting around home. I was wrong.

After lunch we visited the Combat Air Museum. It was fun, but I don't think it was designed for Golden. She put up with it, though. There were two hangars of planes and three veterans who liked to talk about the importance of the planes in the hangars.


Saturday night we decided to go to Lane's Barbecue, only it was closed. So we decided to go to Hanover Pancake House. Also closed. It seems half of downtown Topeka shuts down on Saturday evenings. We eventually went to Wendy's.

Sunday morning on the way out of town we swung by Monroe Elementary, which I believe was one of the first racially integrated elementary schools in the country. We didn't actually go in because we were more than anxious to get home, but it was nice to see one more site before we left Topeka.

It was relaxing to get away and the decision to go was very worth it. Now, back to the grindstone.

voiced concerns

I recently had to interview someone about a large purchase he made that said something about him for class. Mostly out of convenience and the fact that I work with someone who recently purchased an XBox 360 I interviewed a coworker over lunch and recorded the interview.

While I was listening to the recording I remembered that I don't like the sound of my own voice. When I hear my voice it is a little weird because I don't sound that way to myself. I don't think my voice sounds nearly as cheesy as it really does until I hear it externally. Then I am reminded that it sounds eerily like that of a geek or nerd.

When I was young we would crowd myself, my mom, and my sister around a tape recorder and have discussions. I remember thinking then how squeaky my voice was. It has deepened a little since then, but there is still a weird quality that makes it not quite right. I am not sure if it is the tone of my voice, the speed of my voice, the pausing of my voice or all of the above. One thing is for sure, it will be like this for a while. I'm no ventriloquist.

i don't believe you

From a Joaquin Pheonix fan site.

Sam Phillips: "I'm sorry, I can't market gospel no more."
John: "So nothing?"
Sam Phillips: "I don't record material that doesn't sell, Mr. Cash, and gospel...like that... doesn't sell..."
John: "Is it the gospel or the way I sing it?"
Sam Phillips: "Both."
John: "What's wrong with the way I sing?"
Sam Phillips: "I don't believe you."
John: "You want to say I don't believe in God?"
Marshall: "Come on, J.R., let's go!"
John: "No. I don't understand, I mean, we come down here, we play for a minute, and he tells me I don't believe in God."
Sam Phillips: "You know exactly what I'm telling you. We've already heard that song, a hundred times. Just like that, just like how you sang that."
John: "You didn't let us bring it home."
Sam Phillips: "Bring it home? Alright let's bring it home. If you was hit by a truck, and you were lying there in that gutter dying, and you had time to sing one song. Huh? One song people would remember before you're dirt, one song that would let God know how you felt about your time here on earth. One song that would sum you up. You're telling me that's the song you'd sing? That same Jimmy Davis tune we hear on the radio, all day. About your peace within, and how it's real and how you're gonna shout it. Or ... would you sing something different, something real, something you felt. Because I'm telling you right now, that's the kind of song people want to hear, that's the kind of song that truly saves people. It got nothing to do with believing in God, Mr. Cash. It has to do with believing in yourself."
John: "Well, I wrote a few songs in the Air Force. Have you got something against the Air Force, Mr. Phillips?"
Sam Phillips: "No..."
John: "I do."

For those who have seen it, the above discussion is between Johnny Cash and someone who works for a record company in Walk the Line. The movie was hardly a happy-go-lucky film, but of everything in the movie this felt the most honest (besides the believing in yourself politically correct trash that wouldn't have even been uttered in those days). I have begun to really enjoy Johnny Cash's lyrics even in his songs that I don't enjoy as much musically because they feel brutally honest.

Being that I have grown up in the church culture I am so used to the appearances. People learn to use Christian words because it identifies who they are. People learn to talk victoriously because Christians shouldn't feel defeated. People learn that the perceived sin is worse than the real sin. I don't want to say that perceptions aren't important, because they are. What I want to say is that there are specific situations when appearances matter (like when doing something makes you look like a hypocrite) and many when they don't.

I hate using Christian words and phrases and I hate hearing them because they are a mental flag that whatever is being said has no substance. I know I have heard the phrase "praise the Lord" used in many situations where I questioned whether the speaker really understood what the phrase is supposed to mean. I have been in services where people who normally speak regular American English start speaking and praying in Olde English I presume because it sounds holier.

Cash probably hits the other extreme, but because of his cold honesty his message hits home to me a lot quicker than traveling evangelists ever do. I just wish that more Christians understood that. Twould encourage thine heart greatly.

the web

In the past I have been informed that including a picture of my foot on this blog is a little gross. This is why today's picture is small. It does illustrate my topic well, though.

Ever since I was born the second and third toes on both of my feet have been attached. When I was really young I figured this was normal. As I grew up and noticed other people at the pool I realized it wasn't normal. Apparently most people don't have webbed feet.

When my mom first found out that I had some webbed toes she asked the doctor if there was anything he could do to separate them. He pointed out that this really wasn't a serious issue and said that the toes might grow back together if he separated them anyway. She was uncomfortable about this, but figured there was not much to be done.

Some might assume that I don't go barefoot much because I am embarrassed about my toes. Rest assured that if this were the case I wouldn't have a picture of my toes on this site. I don't think about my toes 99.9% of the time, so if I am going to have weird quirks with my body this might as well be one of them.

marketing shmarketing

Since a couple of weeks ago when I penned an ode to how easy my Marketing class would be, it appears that I have created a nice batch of crow to dine on. I am sure T will love this.

My first paper in the class got me a 7.5 out of 12 which, if you can do the math, adds up to a very bad score. When I first saw the grade I started to think that maybe I hadn't figured this marketing thing out. Now that I see what I was marked off on I think it means that I haven't figured this professor out.

Each paper we hand in is actually a detailed response to questions about a test case that we must analyze. The first paper had four questions, but all the rest have three.

First and foremost I was marked off because I put too many words in my paper. The very first comment on my paper stated that I took too long to get to a point. I'll accept that and be short and to the point from now on. I only wrote in the form I did because my OB professor dinged me for not having proper introductions and conclusions and for not including enough material from the book for my papers in that class.

The second thing, though, kind of bothers me. I got marked off in a couple places because I included information that was not in the case. I am not saying I introduced facts. I am saying that I provided speculation in my paper that did not come directly from the case. This is Marketing. It is supposed to be open-ended.

What is weird is the only question that I got a perfect score on was the one that I more or less copied the information from the case. It was the last question and I was tired and not thinking clearly, so I kind of took the easy way out and reworded what was already in the case. I was convinced that my professor would see through the fact that no thinking had gone into my responses for this question and I would be graded down at that point.

So, now I have been obsessing about my next paper as I have been typing it today because I can't make sense of how my last paper was graded. I have stopped providing much insight, but rather just copying information from the case, since I have to surmise that this is what he wants. I don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work.

anniversary and birth

First, I want to note that today is the one year anniversary for this site. I did a two-hundredth post comment not too long ago, so it probably isn't worth having another milestone post. I will note that in my first comment I promised to relay some deep thoughts. I'll get around to that some time.

More on topic, on Tuesday Golden and I went to our first childbirth class. When we got there we learned that there would only be two other couples in the class. Of the other people there, two formerly worked for Accenture (like me), one is a software engineer at Sprint (which is what I did with Accenture), and one is an Economics professor at KU, where I am taking business classes. Not only did I have some connection with everyone else there, they also were all rather left-brained individuals. Also, I think one of the fathers there is more of a nervous person than I am. I didn't think that was possible.

The class itself was a lecture about the beginning stages of delivery. The person teaching the class said that the rest of the classes will not have as much lecturing like that. It was a little rough after going to class on Monday night for three and a half hours. It will probably be nice to have gone through the class when Golden really is delivering the baby, though, so that I will have an idea of what is going on.

One thing the teacher did cover and dwell on for a while is that a woman in labor will tend to use the right side of the brain a lot more than the left. She emphasized that the logic centers of the brain don't get as much blood, so trying to reason with Golden about something while she is in labor may not be wise.

At the end of class we went through a relaxing exercise. At first I thought it was kind of cheesy, but I was able to get quite relaxed. Toward the end I couldn't even feel my arms.

Next week we will be discussing the "pushing" stage of delivery. That should be fun.

prized

Last week we had a small poker tournament in my office. Without belaboring the details I finished second. Definitely better than last time when I didn't even get into the final round. This year, the top three positions got prizes from ThinkGeek.com. Mine was this lighted gaming mousepad. It lights up in six different colors which I distinguish as either blue-like or yellow-like.

The first and third place prizes were a Swiss memory keychain (256MB flash drive) and an airzooka.

What's really funny, though, is that the runner up gets the box that the prizes came in. The person who took the runner up position last time put the box on his wall. It has provided an occasional smile whenever I walked into his office over the past few months.

As we were playing several of us noted how humorous it would be if the same person won the box two tournaments in a row. Without further ado, I present his office wall. :)

spring forward

I am not good with schedules. I don't believe I ever have been. I can remember things that I do as a routine day in an day out, but I can't remember unique events. Whenever anyone asks whether I want to or whether I am able to do something on a given day I almost always have to check with Golden. This isn't just because I am whipped. It is also because she has this weird ability to remember and recall our schedules, our church's schedules, and some extended family schedules for weeks out. I am doing good to remember whether I wore the jeans I am currently putting on the previous day.

Due to my incredible ability to forget anything important on my schedule I rely on Golden to make sure that I remember to attend important events. This usually works without fail. On Saturday night, however, we were both too busy to take time to remember to set the clocks around the house ahead an hour. Actually, Golden was too busy. I wouldn't have remembered to change the clocks if I didn't have a thing to do.

So on Sunday morning I was thinking about how I would delay getting up for another ten minutes when I heard Golden say, "Oh no, it's 9:30." We missed Sunday School, but I did enjoy the extra hour of sleep.

working late

For the past few months I have been kind of spoiled. It used to be that if I left the office before 6PM that was a good day, but I have not had to stay late very much in quite a while. A couple of the guys in the office are continually there until 6 or 7, but have I counted myself among the lucky ones who usually doesn't have extremely pressing work left to do at 5. Well, that was until Thursday.

On Thursday I got on a conference call at 3:30 that lasted until 7:30. I don't like that but if it happens once in a blue moon I can usually deal (and complain). On Friday I was gearing up for the weekend when I found out another issue had been assigned to me at 4:30 that someone needed to deal with. Again, I complained, but I hung around until 6:30 to take care of it.

I was in a bad mood until 7:40. At that time I got a call from a coworker from his cell phone. He wanted to let me know that while I had been unfortunate to have to stay until 6:30, he was just then leaving the office. I guess I had nothing to complain about after all.

I snapped the pictures below on the way home Thursday night. If this is what the drive home from work looks like and it isn't December 21, this is the sign of a bad day at the office.