As Golden mentioned in her blog, she was kept from getting toilet paper on Saturday due to some technical difficulties. Because this wondrous invention has been on my mind as I watch our valuable stash dwindle, I thought I would share some random thoughts about toilet paper.
When I worked in a grocery store I used to be confused about the people who bought toilet paper one roll at a time. This isn't a major purchase. Live large and get the four-pack.
Speaking of the four-pack, this is the size that Golden would prefer to buy. I prefer the 48-roll jumbo package. We usually compromise with a 12- or 24-roll package.
If I am sitting on the john in my house the odds are good that there are no more than three squares of toilet paper left on the roll in use. Two will be usable and one will be that square that is glued to the cardboard tube.
I remember seeing an old ad for toilet paper that said something like, "Now with no splinters." Ouch!
A recent ad I saw for toilet paper claimed that since the paper was thicker you would use less of it. That is about the worst logic in the world, unless you are replacing one-ply with two-ply.
I would like to shake the hand of the person who invented two-ply. I would like to wash the hand of the person who invented one-ply.
I have never figured out the purpose in not perforating the large, industrial-sized toilet paper rolls that are placed in public bathrooms and are supposed to be torn on teeth on the dispenser. I have a hint for the people who designed that system. It doesn't work!
Few things confuse me more than trying to tear off a sheet of toilet paper from a roll where the end is on the bottom rather than the top.
Here's to toilet paper. It sure beats trying to use the Sears catalogue.
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Is it possible to describe a personal blog without it sounding self-absorbed?
The title Off the Bridge is to reflect that I created this blog in part due to peer pressure. When I created and named it I did not anticipate still using it years down the road.
I generally post my thoughts on topics that have been floating around in my head in the previous days. I hope you find something interesting. In any case, thanks for stopping by.
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14 comments:
Funny thoughts. I laughed.
Does anyone actually buy one-ply? The bathrooms at my work only have one-ply. Maybe businesses buy it because it is cheaper.
Buying the right toilet paper and the right amount is an art in and of itself. My mom has convinced me that Scott's TP lasts longer and does not clog the toilet. EVERYTIME I have tried a different brand we've had to get the plunger out!
As for how much. Growing up I had to use WAY too many napkins and klenex's while we waited for the next trip to the store. I refuse to buy less then a 12 pack. Dash learned about this the hard way, when I sent him to the store and he brought back a 4 pack!
BTW the napkins were usually cut in 1/2 so that they didn't get wasted or clog the toilet!
I saw a very disturbing commercial on TV advertising a new moist wipe.
The woman squeezed a line of toothpaste on the backside of her hand and proceeded to wipe it with a standard dry TP and it smeared badly, causing repeated wipes. (the visual inferred that you imagine other place that get smeared and needed repeated wipes.) Then the women demonstrated the same thing with a moist wipe and I do not believed it smeared.
Dust, can you lay low on the (sitting on the John) visuals for a while, because I saw something that I am trying to erase from my mind.
Bad image huh?
Would you prefer I use the word "can" or "throne"?
It's not the words you are using, that the bears are coming out of the cave or anything like that. It's that you are describing yourself on the stool, and we all see you sitting with your pants down and skid marks on your tightie whities.
this whole conversation is just... wrong.
Scary, man, real scary. You could always go Army and just wear brown underwear....would not reveal your racing stripes
The last time we went to the store, I had T's permission to "only get a 4 pack" since we would be doing the real shopping later that week.
When I proudly showed back up the card with an amazing deal, I was sent back to buy the scots 4 pack so the toilet would remain clog free. .49 cents to keep from having to plunge - I'll buy that .. not sure it's true - but I trust her,
I don't know that dust is a tighty whitey guy, and I can see how it is scarry to admit that I know. But it is just a hunch. I could be dead wrong. He just seems like a brief guy.
Dust, Golden, do you wish to enlighten?
Today in the "too much information" department:
Tighty whiteys are good for sports. Otherwise, boxers are best.
Do you really want to wash the hand of the 1 ply person? Why not let them wash their own poopy hands?
Heres a test that you can do at home to see how good of a job your toilet paper does at cleaning you. Just wipe with tp and then wipe with a wet wipe and see how much still comes off. You will be surprised. I always use wet wipes now. The little kid kind.
Wet wipes are wonderful. Once you try them, there's no going back.
I'm going to go throw up now, thank you.
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