the demon tree

We have five trees in our yard. Two are maple, two are elm, and one is out to get me. I don't know what specific type of tree the fifth one is. I do know that it flowers in early May, it looks a lot like a cherry or crabapple tree, and it intentionally takes swipes at me when I am mowing.

Yesterday afternoon I decided it was about time to mow the yard. Never mind that the heat of the day was pretty intense. I just knew that if I didn't do it yesterday I would have to waste one of my weekday evenings on it. When I mow my yard, the easiest section to do is the front yard because it is the smallest patch of grass and there isn't much to get in my way. I always have a small cloud of doom hanging over me, though, due to the fact that I know I will be having to fight the possessed tree in just a few minutes. As all clouds of doom go, it is too small to even provide shade to an overheated person pushing a mower.

In the past when I have attempted to mow under the tree it has taken swings at my arms. I even have a light but visible five-inch scar on my right arm from where it scraped me good about two months ago. If the tree isn't successful in stopping me with it's branches it usually resorts to kicking up dust (not Dust) under its canopy and driving my allergies crazy. Yesterday, I was unusually fortunate until I was almost done mowing under this tree. One or two passes away from freedom and a branch about five and a half feet from the ground whipped around and slapped me in the mouth. I am just happy it didn't leave a mark.

If anyone needs firewood any time soon, I may have some available. That is if the tree doesn't get me first.