second announcement

If you haven't seen Golden's site yet you probably don't know the news yet. So, in case you do not already know, we have a second child on the way. Golden is due at the very end of November.

Golden and I have both long believed that having two kids is the ideal number for us. If something happens that causes us to have more, we will enjoy it and love all our kids the same. However, since we both know life with one sibling the best, and since we both doubt that we could retain what little sanity currently have with more than two kids, that number just seems right.

I have asked many parents already how different it is to have two kids rather than just one, and I am amazed that there does not appear to be a consensus on whether a second child adds just a little extra effort or exponentially more effort than the first. In case you haven't figured out, I am hoping that for us having two kids is not much more challenging than having one. I actually think that how NJ interacts with his new sibling is going to have the biggest of any influence on this.

Finally, we do intend on finding out the sex of the baby when we can, but that will probably not happen until some time in June according to my math. I can't wait to find out.

vote for genocide

Every once in a while I get something in the mail asking me to submit a vote for my holdings in some mutual fund or stock. This happens the most with my 401(k) holdings, and I would assume this is the way it is for most people.

A few days ago I got a packet from one of the mutual funds that are in my 401(k) with following thing to vote on. Since the proposal is written vaguely, it is not clear what counts as substantially contributing to genocide. Even so, it's hard not to be a bit cynical about the mutual fund company when I read this.

The Board of Trustees Recommends a Vote AGAINST the Following:

Shareholder proposal for [list of mutual funds] concerning Board oversight procedures to screen out investments in companies that substantially contribute to genocide.

I will assume at this point that the reason the board of trustees is asking for the vote to not go through is they they believe that such screening procedures will not actually reduce genocide and will noticeably reduce earnings for those funds. Who in good conscience could actually vote against it, though? I am voting my miniscule number of shares for it.

purse of happiness

When I was ten my favorite TV show by far was the old Batman series with Adam West and Burt Ward. There were a lot of reasons for me to like the show, and since I was pretty young, none of them had anything to do with its satirical or ironic nature. The episodes were purposely ridiculous, but I thoroughly enjoyed every one of them in spite of the ridiculousness rather than due to the ridiculousness.One thing that I remember liking very much about Batman, and wishing that I could emulate in some practical way, was his utility belt. There wasn't anything that wasn't on that belt. I used to think it would be the coolest thing in the world to be able to have such ready access to anything I could practically need.

For a short while, I used a fanny pack so that I could have access to the stuff that I would need. I did like the fanny pack, but it never made sense to me why I was supposed to wear it with the pouch on my backside, as that made it more difficult to access the stuff that I wanted ready access to. Because of this, I shunned society's rules and wore the pouch near my stomach rather than near my butt. However, since fanny packs faded in 1992, that is about the same time I last used one.As I have gained more things to carry around, I have started to envy previous ages when men could carry bags without the perception that they were carrying purses. As my history indicates, I appreciate practicality in transporting my possessions. I would prefer to not have to use my pockets to carry a cell phone, two sets of keys, a wallet, an iPod, spare change, and whatever else I might need, but there really is not a good alternative. The male fashions to address this are all considered outdated, nerdy, effeminate, or they are generally impractical for everyday life.

This is one area in life where I actually wish I had baggage.

typical white guy

Not long ago someone at work commented that I have a very white personality. This is true to the extent that I probably don't act like I am from any other race, but I don't think that I am stereotypically white if there is such a thing. If there is a standard white way to be, and I am that way, I think I should constantly find that I think the same way as most other white people and have the same types of life experiences. I am more struck by how little this happens than by how much it happens.

Recently, I found satirical a website called Stuff White People Like^* that purports to relay to people who are not white the things that white people like so that they can benefit more from their relationships with white people. While it is a very funny website, by the standard of the site, I am not very white. This is largely because the standard for being white is apparently to be privileged, liberal, snobby, and status-conscious. People who are not rich, not liberal, or have unrefined tastes evidently don't count as white.

I have given quite a bit of thought to how much a person's ethnicity, gender, and so forth should define him or her. While stereotypes usually have to originate with a grain of truth, it does seem a bit unfair and lazy to rely on them. I want to believe that the less a person fits whatever should be the obvious stereotype for him or her, the more intelligent or self-aware that person is. In theory the idea makes sense, but in practice it is very hard to know how stereotypical anyone really is.

^* I just want to give some fair warning. As is typically the case with web-based satire, there are elements to this site that some people could find offensive. I wouldn't add a link, though, if I thought it was overly offensive.

church appeal

I have believed for a while that church is structured to appeal more to feminine tastes and needs than masculine tastes and needs. I am not saying that church is entirely feminine, but rather it leans that way. I am also do not want anyone to think I am griping about this right now. It is just something that is on my mind.

There are a few examples that I see. The music in a church service tends to be more targeted to women. The focus of a service is on sitting quietly for periods of time to listen to teaching or preaching. The socialization aspect of church seems more feminine than masculine. Even the motivations for going to church are more feminine, as a lot of women feel the need to bring their families to church for reasons that would not concern most men.

I know that a typical response to this is that it is easier for men to get into leadership in church, so the main influence in the church is masculine. My current concern has more to do with the user experience than with church leadership, however. It is possible that the official leadership is all or mostly male while the appeal of the church remains feminine.

When I mentioned this to my mom this past weekend her response was to ask, if church is more slanted to the feminine, what would make it more masculine. I am ashamed to say that I have no idea. Because I do not know, I would like to pose the question to my readers. Do you agree that church structure has more feminine than masculine appeal? If you agree with me, what is an acceptable means of adding masculinity to church? If you disagree with me, can you elaborate on why?

the surgery

Since I have wasted a lot of time talking about my gallbladder over the last couple of months, it would be remiss for me not to post on the actual surgery. So you don't have to read the entire post to know how everything went, I am doing fine. They actually sent me home from the hospital early since it was determined that nothing could be gained by keeping me there.

This morning, Golden and I got up a little after five to prepare for the hospital and be there for my appointment at six. This is not generally the way I like to start my day. As I have mentioned, though, I have actually been looking forward to the surgery more than dreading it, so that made it easier to get up and moving.

Around 6:30 I was called into a preparation room where I had to change into my entirely-too-immodest hospital gown, have some strange leggings put on me (to reduce the potential for a blood clot), and have my IV put in. They did not let Golden go back with me until I was almost completely done with this process. I am not sure why they didn't want her back there until then, but that's the way it was.

One thing that was frustrating was that, since I am a relatively physically private person, the very personal things that had to be done to me prior to and after the surgery are a little bothersome. I understand that there is no way around this and I understand that women have it worse, but it is still worth mentioning since I am no exhibitionist.

Just before 7:30 I was wheeled to surgery. As this was happening the anesthesiologist shot some stuff in me that she said would make me more comfortable but would not knock me out. Someone I work with who has had this surgery told me that when they did this to him he did not remember anything after getting the shot and that his wife told him that he started joking around with everyone without inhibition. Golden did not see me after I got the shot, so she doesn't know if I did anything embarrassing. I hope I didn't.

Around 10:00 I woke from what felt like a very long dream. I was incredibly groggy, so I don't remember much of what happened. I wasn't in any pain and this was roughly when they asked whether I wanted to stay at the hospital or go home. I decided that I would go home when I could, but I was not really in the strongest mental position to make such a decision.

Golden came back to see me periodically as I recovered from the surgery. She also was dealing with NJ in the waiting room, so her effort today was very noble.

Golden mentioned that a couple of people from church came to pray for me before the surgery, but were under the impression they could do so at 7:30. Since that is when I went into surgery that was not possible. They hung around and spoke with my mom until 10:30 when decision was official that I would not be staying at the hospital.

Golden also told me that the surgeon told her that he has never seen so many gallstones in someone so young. He mentioned that this had actually caused damage to my gallbladder. This is something that bothered my mom, but it made me very happy. It justifies the griping that I have been doing for the past couple of months and it validates the decision to have surgery.

While my stomach hurts some from the surgery, it is actually not a big deal. I expected the pain to be significantly worse. The one bad thing is that I have been nauseated for most of the day, and this has been much worse than lingering pain from my incisions. I expect that to pass by tomorrow given my past experience, though.

Probably the most difficult part of this surgery is that for the next two weeks I can't pick up NJ. One of the things that we both like is for me to swing him around, and that will not happen for a little while. Also, this means that Golden is going to have to hold him more, which is physically draining on her.

My assessment at this point is that the surgery really was a success. I had no real complications that I am aware of, and I am already noticeably recovering. The benefit I will get out of the surgery once my body adjusts to not having a gallbladder far outweighs the drawbacks of keeping it.

have to die

Zed: "May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die."
James: "Well, she's the only one that seemed dangerous at the time, sir."
Zed: "How'd you come to that conclusion?"
James: "...I saw little Tiffany. I'm thinking, you know, eight-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters, this time of night with quantum physics books. She's about to start some [stuff], Zed."

In the case that someone reading this has actually not seen Men in Black, this scene is available on YouTube at the following location (mild language warning). In the scene, Will Smith's character (James Edwards) has just shot a cardboard cutout of a little girl at a firing range after passing over more dangerous looking alien cutouts. At first blush the shot looks like a mistake, but the movie goes on to illustrate that appearances can be deceiving.

One question that I always pose in my mind at this time of year is why did Jesus have to die in the way He did. When this question arises, I typically recall the scene in Men in Black about little Tiffany having to die. In both situations, it is very understandable to ask why death is necessary. Also, in both situations, the answer to why is difficult to accept regardless as to how valid it might in reality be.

Few people who have seen The Passion of the Christ would pretend to believe that thirty-nine lashes and crucifixion is an easy way to die. I remember that one of the biggest impressions the movie had on me was that the whole process seemed arbitrary. Was there a reason that Christ had to die in this way rather than in a more humane fashion? Did the cross impart something that the guillotine couldn't?

These questions bothered me for a while. I do not like my foundational beliefs to seem arbitrary, and this seemed very much so. It didn't threaten my faith, but it was certainly an obvious irritant to my faith for a few days.

After I gave it some thought, I determined that the purpose of Jesus' death having to come through crucifixion could not be known without understanding why death was necessary in the first place. The keys to me are that sin demands a sacrifice (Romans 3:21-26) and that Christ's sacrifice is the ultimate expression of love (Romans 5:6-8).

To address my concerns I now believe that there is much more to the Crucifixion than is humanly understandable. I will never fully comprehend why sin has to be atoned because my understanding is physical rather than spiritual. If a sacrifice is demanded for the spiritual shortcomings of humanity, one physical sacrifice (significant as it is) does not seem enough. Using a physical sacrifice to pay a spiritual debt simply feels inadequate. Using a spiritual sacrifice to pay a spiritual debt makes a lot more sense. Even so, that spiritual sacrifice would have to be far more horrific than any physical sacrifice could ever be.

I personally believe that the reason that Christ had to physically die on the cross was that most any other death would not relay to us the enormity of His spiritual sacrifice. If his death was quick and painless, we would not understand how beyond valuable the gift of salvation is. We may not even believe that the sacrifice that was made was and is enough to cover all sin. We certainly would not understand the volume of love behind that sacrifice.

I do not expect that everyone is going to agree with me about this. Some might note that Isaiah seems to imply that it is Christ's physical torment that provides us salvation (Isaiah 53:4-5), though this is obviously not how I interpret Isaiah. Whether we agree on this is not important, though. How Christ covers sin is less vital than the fact that He does cover sin.


Update (12/16/14):

You will note that I have struck through a few specific sentences in the text above.  I left them in place, but marked out, because I wanted to properly illustrate my modified stance on what is ultimately a very important issue.

When Christ was on this earth he was 100% man, but he was and still is still 100% God, and as a result 100% spiritual.  In the sense of his nature being spiritual, Christ's sacrifice was indeed spiritual.  In the sense that Jesus descended into the grave before his resurrection, the process was spiritual.  However, I regretfully discounted too much the value of the physical sacrifice.  I now take Isaiah more literally to understand that we are actually healed by Christ's wounds.

I will say that the whole idea of sacrifice as an atonement for sins is still a confusing concept for me.  I do not understand the requirement for blood in the same way that people of that era would have understood it.  I do not understand the requirement of a violent death as payment for sin.  I get the drive for justice, but I do not fully understand the means (even though it is explained in Hebrews 9:16-24).  The idea of a covenant is foreign to my mind, so the idea of violent enforcement of a covenant is also foreign.

I apologize to anyone whom I confused or misled by what I wrote in error.

600

"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: 'Mankind.' Basically, it's made up of two separate words—'mank' and 'ind'. What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."- Jack Handy

This is my six hundredth post. A while back I decided that I would post something about the post number every hundred posts. I didn't consider how difficult it is finding a topic about six hundred, though. The number really does not have much significance. However, the book of Revelation describes the six as the number for man, so this is a post about the topic of how I perceive mankind.

Probably what interests me the most about humanity in general are the unexpected similarities and the unexpected differences among people throughout the world. I think the similarities can best be seen in the stories that come from different cultures. Universally, people appreciate heroic traits and traits of self-sacrifice. That may make some sense in that those two traits should prolong the existence of a specific culture. This could also explain the fact that the Crucifixion story has been accepted in cultures worldwide.

Another similarity that C.S. Lewis noted in Mere Christianity was that most cultures have an inherent sense of right and wrong. While a lot of the details regarding this sense may differ, there are more similarities than differences. Again, it could be argued that any culture without a sense of right or wrong would eventually destroy itself in selfish chaos, but there should at least be some record of them if they existed.

I am convinced that most differences between cultures are learned differences and not natural differences. Even so, it is amazing how foundational ways of thinking can differ. Americans tend to be very individualistic. In some Asian cultures there is not really such a thing as individual success, but rather group or family success. It is probably a reflection of American selfishness, but I cannot fathom not approaching life individualistically.

I think that for all of the differences, though, you will still find people of all personality types no matter where you go. If someone described themselves as American, French, Japanese, or Mexican, that still shouldn't tell you too much about their personality outside of the cultural rules by which they play.

One of the biggest questions that perplexes me, because it is something that I cannot know for certain, is whether there is a universal human experience or whether all people are totally unique in the way they experience life. Everything else about the nature of people in general and individually has to flow from that.

happy pi day

I just have a few random things to cover tonight.

Today at work someone sent an email around stating that there was some free apple pie in the office kitchen as celebration of Pi Day. I resisted the urge to get the pie because someone else could get more enjoyment out of it than I could. However, I was struck by the fact that there is a geek holiday that I have never heard of. It is always nice to find evidence that I am not the biggest geek around.

On Thursday I finished my last class for the first half of the semester. This is important because I have anticipated that the first half of the semester would be much more stressful than the second half. I am hopeful that I can put more time into doing things around the house and even into this blog now that my worst class is over.

Finally, my schedule this week is going to be kind of weird, so I may not maintain my typical posting schedule. Check here as usual, but don't be surprised if my posts are at weird times or if they aren't as frequent.

been through this before

Since I have been to two doctor's offices, one surgeon's office, and twice to the hospital all in the last couple of months I am starting to get used to the questions that I get asked everywhere. "Yes, I have a family history of heart problems." "No, I haven't had any kidney stones." "Yes, I am taking medications, but only because the last doctor who saw me put me on them." "I may not look it but I really am six-foot-three." Okay, I didn't say the last one.

I wish there was a way of answering all of these questions once and just having them routed to the relevant people. For example, if there was a standard Word document with all the necessary information that I could print out a few copies to give to the different doctor's office receptions I have spoken with, life would be great.

When a lady from the hospital called me yesterday and went through this series of questions again over the phone it went relatively quickly. This was because I didn't need to stop and think for most of the questions. I only had to stop and think about one, but there were two questions that got me thinking.

First, she asked what my religious preference was. I hesitated before saying Christian. Would it have been better to be specific? Was there a real reason for the question? Do Protestants, Jews, and Hindus each get different treatment? Since the question is taboo in a lot of settings, it always sticks out when someone asks about religious beliefs.

Second, she asked if I have ever had adverse effects to anesthesia. Since I always get nauseated from it, I informed her of this. The question got me thinking. The day of the surgery may not be a very good day. I have been almost looking forward to going under the knife since I will be unconscious for the surgery and will get to lie in bed all day and recover. If I am fighting the urge to hurl at the same time that I am supposed to be relaxing my abdominal muscles, though, I could have a problem.

I'll just have to be hopeful that it isn't a big deal. I already know that the hospital has some relatively effective pain killers.

spring forward

In our house it is very rare for all of the clocks to get changed at once on the switchoff between Daylight Savings and Daylight Standard Time and vice versa. It is not uncommon for the next few days to be a little confusing as to what time it really is as I try to remember whether the specific clock that I am looking at has been changed yet or not. Any more, though, it is not the clocks in the house that get me. It is the clock in Golden's car.

Twice a year I change the time in that car and twice a year I forget exactly how it is done. The last time I was trying to figure out how to change the time I was driving through town in the evening. I am sure I was not the most responsible driver as I weaved back and forth in my glances between the road and the dashboard controls. It took about five minutes before I found the right buttons because they are not intuitively set up.

This year I think I'll leave Golden's clock the way it is. That way, if we drive her car somewhere it will look like we are fifty minutes early rather than ten minutes late. That's called turning lemons into lemonade.

taking stock

A lot of what I see on television is stock footage. I know this. It is just filler because there is no other video to play for what is being said. For it's popularity, two things that I have heard of or noticed in the last couple of days show the perils of stock footage.

Recently, Hillary Clinton's campaign made news with a commercial that shows kids sleeping in bed while a phone rings. The voiceover says that something is going wrong somewhere in the world and asks the viewer to contemplate who they would want in the White House to answer the phone. The implication, of course, is that Obama is not experienced enough to handle such a situation.

What was funny about the situation is that the campaign used stock footage of the children in bed from several years ago, and one of the kids (who is now an seventeen) has spoken out that she is an Obama supporter. Probably not what the Clinton campaign hoped for.

I started thinking about stock footage as I was watching a special on global temperatures last night. Just about all of the video was of ice melting, flyovers of cold locales, and the things that people think of as causing global temperatures to increase. The documentary editor must have been short on footage, because the same videos were used multiple times.

The most humorous aspect of the documentary's use of stock footage was that the person who set it up obviously does not understand the sources of carbon emissions. Along with shots of busy highways and shots of power lines there were several stock shots of nuclear power plants. The reason to use nuclear power plants is simple. Images of nuclear power stir thoughts of pollution and nuclear waste, which a lot of people equate to carbon emissions.

In reality, nuclear power may have it's problems, but it is actually considered by many to be a part of the solution to reducing carbon emissions when it is compared with current forms of generating power. It is one of the methods, however controversial, that Canada is officially using to reduce its national carbon footprint. That video screw-up sounds minor, but it is quite a gaffe on a scientific documentary, in my opinion.

I may not be in a position where I can make a decision to use or not to use stock footage in the future. I will, however, get some enjoyment out of paying attention for it from now on.

saturday evening post

This is a little later in the weekend than I usually post, and it's just going to be an update of what is going on.

On Thursday I was supposed to pick up my car at the shop. I left work early to pick it up, then the guy I have been working with noticed a sound from the power steering and told me he'd prefer to keep the car one more day to make sure this wasn't a serious issue. I am thankful that he was willing to check on it, but I was very frustrated that I had to drive out to pick it up again.

On Friday the crew who were to replace the furnace and A/C showed up at the house. I was not there for any of that, so if there are details to share, Golden will have to share them.

Also on Friday I went to see the surgeon who will be performing my gallbladder removal (for those who don't know, I am having my gallbladder removed). He said the test results showed that my gallbladder was "filled with" gall stones. I can apparently rest assured that surgery is the best course of action. I am scheduled to go under the knife early in the morning on March 20th.

A final thing that happened on Friday was that I actually picked up my car after the mechanic bled the power steering lines and determined that there was nothing with my power steering. What was weird was that when I got my Honda Accord loaner I was not entirely comfortable in the car because the blind spots were in different locations and it handled a bit differently. I even mentioned to my sister that I still preferred my car. After driving a recent model car, though, mine feels a bit old. I still plan on holding onto it for several more years, though.

Today we travelled to Springfield to celebrate Golden's mom's birthday. The entertainment for the day has mostly come from NJ.

what's your frequency

Since I am in a rental car I do not want to have one of my CDs in the car, because I don't want to forget it when I return the car. Also, my Nano has been getting repaired, so I have been listening to the radio.

Generally speaking, I do not like listening to the radio. I do not like the typical song selection and most radio personalities simply don't appeal to me. As I was flipping through stations I found a Christian station and decided to stay on it for one reason or another. This has gotten me thinking recently.

There are Christian radio songs I can enjoy. This is why I never changed the station. The Christian radio personalities irritate me, though. I am not sure if this is just my problem or if this is something that I have in common with a lot of other people. I have two theories on this.

First, I think that men are not the target audience. It's hard to pin down the exact reason, but most of the discussions on this station seem to lack a male touch. The conversations are almost all about family topics and there are a lot of indescribable things that make the conversations feel absent of masculinity.

Second, the theme of the station is about how positive they are. I almost always interpret that as being less than genuine. I am sure I am being unfair in my assessment, but when something is advertised as positive it just does not feel real. I eventually get tired of happy voices, too, if I do not feel that they are real.

On the plus side, I do like some of the songs the station plays. I must since I never saw fit to turn the radio off.

if you can't stand the heater

When we made an offer on our house five years ago the guy who did the inspection told us that we should get a maintenance plan for the furnace because of its age. So, I did the easiest thing possible. I called the number of the HVAC company whose sticker was placed on our furnace since I figured they must know about our specific furnace.

Until last year we have had a maintenance contract with this heating and air conditioning company. The company is essentially the owner of the company and one or two associates as far as I can tell. I say until last year because we did not renew our contract this year. The guy who owns the company and who typically does the maintenance work did not mesh well with Golden, and since she has to handle a lot of this stuff while I am at work, how she feels is kind of important.

I stayed with the guy for a while because I like to have some loyalty to whoever I am doing business with. I wanted to believe that the issues we had with this guy were just due to it being a bad day when the furnace was being maintained. Since her opinion did not change, and since she is usually tolerant of different personalities, I finally got the hint.

On Monday our furnace started making noise, so we called a different heating company to fix it. Given the cost of repair, we are planning to go ahead and replace the furnace. Since the cost of replacing a furnace is relatively high I cannot help but consider that our old furnace guy just lost out on significant business due to something as simple as a personality weakness. It just shows that having a friendly personality can really pay off.

in like a lion

Since I moved to Kansas I have heard several people relay to me that if I don't like the weather here I should just wait and it will change. Most of the places I have lived have been this way, but people issue the statement here more than anywhere else I have been.

Another saying that I have heard quite a bit is that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. I haven't really known that to be true, but I remember it when February turns to March every year. Do people in Hawaii have a saying too? "March comes in like July and goes out like July," maybe?

Most people who know me know one of the things I dislike about Kansas is that it gets cold weather. There are colder places to live, for certain, but we get our fair share of winter weather. Not only that, but the winter weather arrives almost without warning.

Yesterday while it was windy and in the seventies I started wondering when the warm weather would end. I was hoping that we would have some warm weather for a few more days. So, I went to Weather.com and typed in my zip code. The following is what came up.I said that I couldn't wait for March earlier. I am starting to think that it might be good to hold out for April.