I have included some of the least complicated and most questionable stories below with what I think they teach the audience. I am actually somewhat serious about this. I do not particularly like the lessons from a lot of fairy tales.
Cinderella
A beautiful woman is forced into slave labor by her stepmother and her ugly stepsisters are given preferential treatment. All the women want to land the rich and handsome, yet somehow not spoiled, prince. Cinderella gets the prince's attention through a series of magical steps, but must leave at midnight. He finds her shoe and is then able to track her down because no other woman's foot in the entire kingdom fits in the shoe.
What we learn from Cinderella:
- Beautiful women are selfless and ugly woman are self-centered.
- Men who are born into immense money and power and who have good looks are by default good-natured and looking for a monogamous relationship.
- Fairy godmothers' magic requires that there are serious strings attached.
- If your life is rotten, getting married to someone rich and attractive turns things around.
A beautiful princess finds a frog who makes a deal to find her golden ball if she will befriend him. She welshes on the deal, so the frog stalks her. When her father finds out about the deal he forces her to eat with the frog. Eventually, the frog sleeps on the princess' pillow and he returns to his rightful form as a prince. They marry and live happily ever after.
What we learn from The Frog Prince:
- No matter what a guy is like, he can be changed.
- It is best to wait until someone gets attractive before committing to a serious relationship.
- Doing a good deed negates any evil deeds you may have done.
- A prince and princess who barely know each other are good candidates for marriage.
A man and wife live in a cabin where she makes a gingerbread man. He comes to life, realizes his predicament, and flees. At this time he is chased by the couple, a pig, a cow, and a horse who all want to eat him. He reaches a river and cannot cross without help. A fox offers to help and uses the gingerbread man's trusting nature as an opportunity to eat him.
What we learn from The Gingerbread Man:
- If you are made out of gingerbread, give up. You're screwed.
Hansel and Gretal's mom convince their dad to dump them off in the middle of the forest to reduce the grocery bill. The kids then find a gingerbread house inhabited by a witch who imprisons them with the intent of eating them. Gretal tricks the witch into climbing into her own oven, which allows the kids to escape. They eventually find their way back home where they learn that their mom died. They live happily ever after with their dad.
What we learn from Hansel and Gretal:
- Witches who live in gingerbread houses would rather cook and eat kids than eat gingerbread.
- Witches have IQs that rank them somewhere between tapioca pudding and an intelligent head of lettuce.
- A dad who leaves his kids in a forest because his wife told him to deserves a second chance.
A piper is hired to rid the town of rats. He plays his pipe and leads the rats out of town and into a river where they drown. When the townspeople decide not to pay the piper he plays his pipe and leads the town's children out of town, and they are never seen again.
What we learn from The Pied Piper of Hamelin:
- If you are going to stick it to your pest control guy, invest in earplugs at the very least.
A queen decides that she should find a real princess to marry her son. To prove that the woman she found is a princess, she places a pea under twenty-something mattresses and has the candidate sleep on top. The woman is proved a princess because the lump the pea creates in her mattress keeps her up all night.
What we learn from The Princess and the Pea:
- Princesses are the ultimate divas.
- Even a princess will do anything to marry a prince.
- Don't let your mom develop the criteria for how to find a spouse.
A mother duck notices that one of the birds who hatched from her eggs is different from the rest. She tries to accept him, but no one else does. He is harassed and decides to leave. After a rough winter where he almost dies, he finds that he is accepted by a group of swans. Only later does he realize that he is a swan.
What we learn from The Ugly Duckling:
- Kicking the ugly duckling out of the family will ultimately lead him to discovering his true self.
- Only people who look like each other can accept each other (passive segregation).
- The class you are born into is your class for life.
8 comments:
Great blog! I have to admit that I haven't read all those fables and frankly Woogy isn't very interseted in them either. Thank's to your blog, I'll think twice about reading them to him.
My favorite kids books were the ones with dumb rhymes in them and numbers! I liked 1 little 2 little 3 little Indians! Dash says that it's not appropriate either! :) Maybe we should just give up and read the newspaper to the kids these days!
Wasn't "Fractured Fairy Tales" a skit on the Underdog cartoon show? Did you violate copyright laws? : )
More likely trademark laws. :)
BTW, I don't have a real problem with reading fairy tails to NJ. Golden or I may make changes, though, that remove or modify the troublesome elements.
Those are some hilarious thoughts on fairy tales. Someone gave us a book of traditional fairy tales for Woogy when he was little, but he hated them. He loved Thomas and Dr. Seuss for the longest time though. Nibbles will only read Dora the Explorer books, and maybe Clifford the big red dog. NJ will like to read whatever he is into.
It is funny that is what you took from it. I would have never come to those conclusions, and I still don't. I can see how that is what you read into it, because it is in line with your personal beliefs of how a person fits into society.
Sorry, I had time to read only the cinderella take. It seems like a very surface level assessment and I don't think any kids would come to your conclusions.
BTW, it true, all beautiful women are selfless and the ugly ones are self-centered. Now how do you define beauty?
BB, only take this with a grain of salt. Read them yourself and come to your own conclusions.
Forrest, first, you will note that some of the observations are tongue-in-cheek.
Second, I'm going to have to disagree with you on the assessment (surprise). I believe that the only reason you have room to disagree with me is that my assessments are not surface level. I think the influences of these stories can be subtle, but real.
Cinderella is actually one that I believe affects more girls than boys, so I feel a little out of place picking on that one specifically without addressing any others. That said, I think that story in particular (along with stories like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Rapunzel) encourages girls to look for a "prince" to rescue them, rather than learn to deal with issues on their own. It also reinforces to girls and boys that attractive people are good and unattractive people are not good. Finally, as in many fairy tales, it presents marriage as the ultimate path to living happily ever after.
Yeah, I know so many girls waiting for their prince charming. We don't live in that world anymore.
I think you are the only one who connects attractive with good and unattractive with not good. The rest of us understand the literary technique of a metaphor and don't apply it to the real world, henceforth the term "fairy tales."
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