Last night at church I sat next to a visitor. We discussed a few things, but there was a lot of dead air. It was the kind of dead air that hovers around people who aren't necessarily trying to talk. I don't think he minded too much, because he said that he would be back next week. It probably is a mistake for me to sit next to new people, though.
I don't necessarily think it is a problem that needs to be worked out, but I very frequently do not feel like talking so I just don't. If I don't feel that I have anything to add to a conversation and there is nothing worth talking about on my mind, you won't hear much of anything out of me. Silence is also Golden, so when we were dating she used to point out that very few couples would be as comfortable just sitting in silence as we were.
I don't think this is an issue of shyness. If anything, for me it is an issue of laziness. If I have to work to come up with something to say it doesn't seem worth it. When I do try to force conversation, it usually exhausts me more than anything else.
Having said that, I would bet that some people who know me have a hard time believing there are times when I am quiet. I can sometimes have the opposite tendency of hijacking the conversation. That's a story for a different post, though.
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2 comments:
I am glad that we are both comfortable with silence. I have empathy for new visitors so I feel sometimes God leading me to talk to new people. I may not be an exciting person to talk to but at least the visitor won't feel ignored.
I think silence is a good thing in a lot of instances. I am sure if you said hi and were polite that was enough, like you said "he didn't seem to mind." But at least he had someone there to say hi and be polite. Nothing worse then visiting a church and being completely ignored.
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