selfish

Last weekend I was in a session where the audience was all couples when the person leading the session noted that selfishness is the thing that causes the most problems in marriage. She noted that she thought that fact was strange until she got married. Now it makes a lot of sense. I have to concur.

Everyone is a bit selfish, and I am not talking about that specifically. The people I am referring to are those who don't really aren't too concerned about what other people may want.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to be married to someone who is entirely self-absorbed. I obviously don't know that sort of life first-hand, but it must be rough. The person you are married to is so important to every aspect of your life that being in a marital commitment with someone who only cares about meeting his or her needs would be prison. Bad habits can be undone. Differences of opinion can be tolerated. For those who want to go that route, even physical issues can be addressed. How do you put up with someone who is only concerned about his or her own self over the long haul, though?

I wonder if this is why God uses the marriage metaphor so much in the Bible. Israel was the unfaithful wife, like Gomer to Hosea. The Church is Christ's bride. God fulfills our needs, so our commitment is not unsatisfying. When Israel or the Church turns away from Him, though, is it somehow unsatisfying for Him?

What I don't understand, though, is what kind of needs God could have. Everyone who goes into marriage does so with the understanding that the person he or she is marrying is there to fulfill something that is lacking in his or her life. I do not think of God as needing anything, though, so why introduce a metaphor like this that requires me to think of God in this merely human way? Is there some value in the metaphor that I am missing? Does God willingly force Himself to need the Church even though vulnerability like that seems like it should contradict His nature?

For Golden and for God, I still need to work on reducing my level of selfishness.