One situation to illustrate this occurred earlier this week. I knew that one specific person in my class needed a textbook and I happened to know one person who had an old textbook. I had a need to attempt to set up a deal. I put the two of them in contact. While I don't know if a deal went through, it would have bothered me not to do so.
This may seem like a good thing, but there is a dark side to this tendency. If I am not careful, I can be manipulated. To keep from being manipulated, you have to be able to identify it when people are manipulating you. I can sometimes do this, but it is definitely not something at which I excel. Combine this with my desire to assist others and I am an easy mark. My only defense is that I am sometimes in too lazy a mood to be properly manipulated into doing something.
I want to get to the point where I am not easy to manipulate, but I don't see a real good plan. I don't think I could be good at identifying attempts to manipulate unless I think like the people who manipulate, and that is something that I don't want to do. I also don't want to assume that any time certain people (or certain types of people) are nice to me that they are trying to get something out of me. Maybe I should, though.
My question is, how do you recognize if someone is attempting to manipulate you? How do you handle it? How should I?
Updated (6/15/08):
I feel that I should note that I don't actually interact with too many manipulative people. At least I don't think that I do. The biggest problem I have is that I doubt I would be able to identify people who were manipulating me even under the condition that I did know many manipulative people.
I ordered the book In Sheep's Clothing today to see if that can provide me with better insight. Of all of the books that I investigated, this appears to be the one that is the most focused on the information that I am seeking.
4 comments:
I think the important thing to do is to be sure of the reasons you are helping someone. If you feel the need to help someone and it is for their benefit and not your own, then it doesn’t matter is someone was wanting to manipulate you or not. If you feel no need but simply help because you feel pressured or guilty, I think that is when you need to worry about being manipulated.
Whoever he is, The Blurker is right on that score. I usually feel that I can tell if I am being manipulated, sometimes this happens at work even. Most of the people that I call friends are not manipulative, but I have relatives who are. Unfortunately, the people who try to manipulate me most are my children. Just wait until NJ is a little older.
I work with kids all the time, so I'm pretty used to being manipulated.
The blurker had good comments. Don't do anything because you feel guilty or pressured. All you need to be concerned with is if you feel God is wanting you to do something.
Post a Comment