for men only

About two years ago Golden read through For Women Only: The Inner Lives of Men and posted on it. The book did present some opportunities for her to understand me, so I appreciated the fact that she read through it.

After coming across the book again a few weeks ago I started wondering if there was a For Men Only companion. When I found that the men's version existed (and still exists) I ordered it. I wanted Golden to get the benefits that I got from her book. Plus, I was curious what this new book had to say.

I already knew quite a bit of what I read, but there were things I didn't. Here are some things I did not already know.

• If a wife is acting like she is trying to drive her husband away, she is probably trying to get him to reassure her of his love. Golden has not ever done this to me, so I have not had to give this too much thought. I would never have figured it out on my own if Golden did do this, though.
• Many women have issues pop up in their minds like computer windows that they cannot easily close. There are often many more windows than just one open. Even if I can put something out of my mind, that does not mean that Golden can. I actually kind of knew this, but it was described in better detail in the book than I understood.
• Emotional security is more important than financial security to most women and most women will tolerate financial turmoil to get emotional security.
• The scenario I described last January about a husband trying to solve his wife's problems was slightly lacking. I did not mention that what Jane needed out of the conversation was for John to validate the emotions that she was feeling. I did not mention this because this is something else I learned from this book, so I was clueless in January.
• "Does this dress look good enough for the party," usually has nothing to do with being properly dressed for the party.

Probably some of this seems obvious. It wasn't to me.

There are a lot of things in For Men Only that I already knew when I read the book, but that I did not know seven years ago when Golden and I married. As a result, I think that For Men Only and For Women Only are probably good wedding gifts, if only so husbands and wives don't have to learn everything about each other the hard way.