put a cap on it

I understand most common etiquette. Generally, it's a good thing, because it allows for interaction between people who might not be able to do so otherwise. It also is a means of shielding your true feelings about a situation, which I have heard lauded and denounced. I think etiquette is generally motr og a good thing a bad thing. There are some individual manners issues that I simply don't understand, though.

Two issues I have already discussed are holding the door open for others and tipping. In both of these cases the issue is that the standards for how to deal with those situations are not standard enough. Today's issue is wearing hats indoors, which is more an issue of me not knowing why it matters.

My hair has a very peculiar nature. If I get within a few feet of a hat it spontaneously gets hat head. It could take the form of a yamaka shaped ring on my head or it could take the form of an Alfalfa-type tuft of hair sticking up for the world to see. In some cases what about my hear has changed is not immediately obvious, to me at least, except that something in general just doesn't look right.

There is actually video of me at my college graduation that perfectly illustrates what I am describing. When I put my mortarboard on I knew something was not quite right, but I did not figure that it mattered. However, at some point during the ceremony there was a prayer where the men were expected to remove their mortarboards. At that moment my mom focused the camcorder on my head. There was one tuft of hair that was pointing the wrong direction and it seriously looks like I had a bald spot there in the video.

Because I am so prone to hat head, I have long avoided wearing any kind of hat. There is no use putting one on if I am going to have to take it off indoors and have everyone find out what my hair decided to look like today. Really, in the last fifteen years I have only worn hats with any frequency in two specific situations. The first was to minimize sunburn when I worked for a general contractor in high school and the second has been to keep from freezing when scraping off my car on frosty or snowy mornings.

If hats were not considered a faux pas for men to wear indoors, I might sport one more often. For example, in the winter I could wear a functional hat outside, like a tuque, and I could wear a less sweltering and more stylish hat indoors to hide the hat head, like a fedora. I know that I would be more likely to wear a cap in the summer months as well if I didn't think I was violating some social rule by wearing it indoors. As it is, I don't own any baseball caps that I am aware of because I wouldn't wear them.

I should look at the positive side of things, though. This rule in etiquette is saving me all of the money that I would otherwise be spending on caps and fedoras. Some day I really should calculate how much I would have saved by not buying hats and invest it in a company that makes head gear. If nothing else, it's would be something mildly interesting to talk about.