contentment

Last week I completed a six month read through the Bible which ate up more of my spare time than I anticipated it would.  This has been enlightening, but it has solidified my belief in something that causes me a great deal of concern.  God promises a lot of things in the life to come, but in this life we are promised little more than fulfillment and faith.

What I am talking about is illustrated in the context of the very popular verse, Philippians 4:13.  That specific verse is the one many quote which indicates that Paul can do all things through Christ's strength.  Ignoring context, it sounds heroic.  In context, it is challenging.

"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles."- Philippians 4:10-14

To summarize, Paul understood relative wealth and poverty. In all of these circumstances he had learned the secret to contentment. The implication is that this is found in the Lord. The challenge to my faith lies in the fact that we are not promised easy lives.  We are only promised that Christ's strength can give us contentment in the middle of difficult times.

I have long been careful not to tie my faith to comfort and claim that my belief in God is based on His caring for my needs and the needs of my family, because what happens when our needs conflict with God's purposes?  God is more than willing to undo me for His purposes.  If that were to occur, what value would faith be that says, "I trust you God because I believe you will always provide what I think I need?"  That so-called faith would be sorely tested, then eventually destroyed.

I know that this passage is intended to be encouraging, that even when things are bad contentment can be found.  I am seeing the limits of my faith in this passage, however.  I have a great deal of difficulty trusting the true promise of this passage, that God provides contentment in truly bad circumstances.  I see what other people have had to deal with—loss of spouses or children, loss of jobs, serious medical issues, divorce, etc.—and I honestly wonder how God could provide contentment in those situations.  This is not a question of doubting God's ability, but rather doubting His willingness to hand out contentment.  Even that is probably an inappropriate doubt, however.

Through my doubts I do still believe, however.  I do still believe.