I frankly don't know precisely where boundaries should be drawn in my life. I never have. In college I became overly active in classwork, student government, work, and maintaining a relationship with Golden and nearly burned out mid-way through my third semester. A few times in my adult life I have swung the opposite direction and purposefully shut down nearly all offers for social activities beyond what was absolutely necessary.
I'm somehow guarded and over-sharing at the same time in my friendships. In my close relationships I don't usually know what reasonable and unreasonable expectations are. Do I expect too much or too little? Do I sacrifice too much or too little? Again, I think it's paradoxically both, but I usually cannot identify the specifics of what needs to change.
In social situations I frequently miss social cues, though I also notice people who miss them much more than I do. Some people seem to be able to feel out others in a way that I can only dream. Other people seem to miss what I think are obvious signs that whatever they are doing violates whatever the local social mores are.
The thing is, the more I think about this, the more I think this describes most people. There is definitely a small group of people who seem to get where all of the social and personal boundaries are or should be, and there is a small group of people who have no clue. In the middle, though, I think everyone relies on others' reactions to figure out the grey areas. What happens, though, when the people we use for reference have it wrong?
Friday, May 04, 2012
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