formality

Today was the first day that our church went back to one service from the previous setup of two services. There are good and bad things about it. On the good side, it puts less of a strain on church workers and it encourages people who would otherwise be going to different services to get to know each other. On the bad side, it strains the church's facilities and forces me to get out of bed on Sunday morning earlier than I have been. There is one other thing that I mark as a negative even though it probably is not a big deal. I have really enjoyed the casual nature of the service that I was attending, and I feel a little awkward now that I am ushering in something less formal than a three-piece suit.

I have made no bones about the fact that I like a casual environment more than a formal environment, but since I know a lot of people who disagree with this I have invested some thought and observation into this. I believe that most people are either in the category of those who get serious pleasure out of being in a formal setting (or having letters after their name, or something like that) or they are in the category where they are seriously uncomfortable in that sort of setting (or with listing PhD after their name). I could be wrong, but I think the group of people who are indifferent about this are in the minority.

In my analysis (well, that is what I am calling it) I am excluding the people who just like to wear nice clothes every once in a while to be seen in what they are wearing. For example, girls who look forward to wearing a new dress to the prom are probably less interested in formality than they are in people noticing them. My main focus is on comparing those who see real value in formality to those who see formality as a waste of time or worse. Since my main clashes with those with whom I have disagreed were generally that of receiving a bit of judgment for a lack of respect, I responded by also being judgmental for a while. I used to believe that those who like formality desire it for its ability to act as a tool to discriminate against less civilized inferiors. While there is no doubt that formality has been used in this manner (a lot), it was certainly an improper judgment for me to make because it probably does not describe most people drawn to the formal. As a bit of a confession, I still struggle against this line of judgment.

I now think that there is something different in foundations of the mind between those who strongly favor formality and those who disdain it. I am sure that environment plays a role, but I think the urge is more basic. My best guess at this point is that someone is more likely to appreciate formality if he or she more comfortable with cultural norms that have an appearance of being arbitrary, regardless as to whether they are. For example, to accept that a tie should be worn with a suit without much explanation because it does look better in the ensemble appears to require an acceptance of a social norm. Someone who does not accept the norm will appeal to how arbitrary that article of clothing seems because its only apparent purpose is to limit blood flow to the head. As another example, my experience is that people who believe that formality is important will often point to the importance of respect or dignity or something else like that while people who do not believe that formality is important will respond with the question of whether formality truly adds respect or dignity or whatever. Since it the subject matter is subjective, no headway will have been made in that debate.

The only way I can really get a feel for what makes someone like or dislike formality is to ask. How do you feel about formality? Are there specific reasons that you like or dislike it? Do you believe my line of reasoning is flawed?