yankees, go home

I mentioned earlier that I have been a Detroit Tiger fan for a while. As a result, I haven't watched many postseason baseball games with much interest in my short lifetime. Not only have I watched my team decline from bad to worse over the years, I have also watched as some teams amassed all-star lineups for big bucks to essentially buy the World Series.

All this combined to make the past weekend, when the Tigers literally stunned and annihilated the Yankees, a very good weekend for me. The Yankees have a team payroll of just under $200 million dollars. The Red Sox, who are second on the list of how much teams spend, have a payroll nearly $80 million less than this. Because the Yankees have seemed so set on buying the World Series I have viewed the organization as the personification of evil in baseball.

Fortunately, of the top ten spending teams, only the Mets (number five on the list) have not already been eliminated. I'd like to see them go soon as well.

Now that the Yankee players don't have the postseason to keep them busy, here's a list of the top ten things they can do with the $200 million they made this past year.

10. Buy thousands of tokens for the batting cages at the local putt putt place to improve follow through.

9. Keep cable payments up to date so that they can watch the remaining postseason games that show on ESPN.

8. Pool together resources to hire a hit man to take out the pitching staff for whoever next year's postseason opponent is.

7. Increase payments to BALCO.

6. Start an advertising campaign to encourage Steinbrenner to spend $300 million next year.

5. Create own periodical so there will be at least one local newspaper that isn't calling for A-Rod's head.

4. Buy an endless supply of glasses with fake noses so as not to be recognized on the street.

3. Purchase the Detroit Tigers organization and rename it to "The Yankees" to have some playoff wins on the record.

2. Blow it on meaningless junk that will never make anyone happy.

1. Buy tickets to Mets games.