buhhh dee

When I was younger I remember adults using nicknames for me like "champ" or "sport" or "bud" or something of that nature. This did two things. First, I assume the names were meant to be somewhat endearing. Second, and most important, the names asserted that I held a diminutive role in that relationship. This was not a big deal when I was a kid. In fact, I use "kiddo" with NJ now because my dad used that phrase with me. That name didn't bother me, so I figure it won't bother NJ. As I have grown up, though, I have become more and more annoyed at the people who use these terms with me. It does not happen real often, but there are not many situations where it doesn't bother me when it does occur.

I have noticed that people who are significantly taller or more athletic than me are likely to refer to me with a name like "bud." I should probably consider that a good thing, since it is short for "buddy," but I always get the feeling that the word is meant to be used in a mildly patronizing way. I can't think of a scenario where guys who see each other as equals refer to each other as "bud" so long as that is not one of their first names. Maybe "dude," but not "bud."

A few months ago some girl cashier who couldn't have been older than me referred to me as "hon" in the same way I might expect a woman in her sixties to do so. Again, this bothered me a little because to me that is a term that in my mind is used in a grandmotherly or motherly manner. It is not something I expect to hear from a cashier who is my age. I know it's a minor issue, but it stuck out.

Let me clarify that most of my frustration comes from the fact that I simply dislike people whom I consider equals using terms that I think put the speaker on some sort of higher plane from the audience (me). Generally speaking, the terms are fine for people much older than me because they have more life experience, wisdom, etc. I just don't like being called "champ" by someone who graduated after I did.

I am also a little uncomfortable with terms that put people at a lower level than me, such as "sir." That is a little different, though, because the person choosing to use the word is not putting himself or herself on a higher level than someone else. Most of the reason I even care about this is that I have this feeling that the people who like to be called "sir" are the ones who really do believe they are better than those who are serving them.

I can already hear the first question people are likely to ask. What should people call me if they forget my name, or don't know it, for whatever reason? I have always responded to, "Hey you!" Failing that, though, you can call me Dust Prime.

medicine head

I took some Benadryl last night to alleviate my allergies and it left me groggy for the entire night. I napped for a little bit and my mind was in a fog for the rest of the night. Golden recommended I try something that wouldn't knock me out, but I did not figure it would have the impact that it did on me.

If I don't expect to go to bed early on a given day or night, there is very little more annoying than when my mind is not working properly. I can go through the motions of reading and hearing words or seeing things, but my mind has to work very hard to process them. It's almost like the words aren't there. It is sometimes bad enough that I cannot meanfully interact with my environment. Eventually I get tired, give up, and go to bed.

Sometimes I can combat the grogginess by walking around or getting a cold drink of water, and that can help me gather my thoughts temporarily. Eventually, I return to my previous state, though.

When I am tired and foggy the quality of my work suffers too. I don't spend the time on it that it deserves, so mistakes get through and the end result is often incomplete. Kind of like this post.

angel's advocate

Someone pointed out at work last week that I like to take a contrarian position a lot, but it is often to make excuses for other people. If someone complains about someone else, I am likely to point out some possibility that could excuse the problem behavior. For example, if someone complains that someone else from a different time zone scheduled a meeting during lunch I will note that maybe this is the only time they have available. Because of this tendency, I was informed that I should be called an angel's advocate rather than a devil's advocate.

At first, this sounds great. It sounds like I am an open-minded person who wants to give people a fair shake. After I started thinking about it, though, this is probably not as true as I would like. I make flash judgments and gripe about other people doing inconsiderate things as much as anyone else. This makes me doubt that my angel's advocate tendencies are completely noble.

I have a few theories about why I like to make excuses for other people. The truth is probably some combination of my theories.

• I might be psychologically trying to atone for the times that I prejudge others' motives. If I can convince myself that I go out of my way to verify motives before making a judgment, then I can forgive myself easier in those times when I quickly judge someone as a jerk.
• I may be trying to encourage other people to not judge me too quickly.
• It might be that I am an objective person if I am not the person who feels like he is getting screwed.
• I might have some serious psychological issue whereby I feel I have to disagree with people.
• I may be trying to prove to other people that I can consider all possible scenarios in a confusing situation. In other words, I might be trying to prove that I am intelligent person who doesn't succumb to knee-jerk responses.
• I might just have an inability to avoid saying whatever random things enter my head around certain people.

At the very least, this has allowed me an opportunity to grow. If I am not playing the angel's advocate for the right reasons, I might ought to stop playing that role so often.

finally better

Just about every time there is a cold going around I seem to get it. This last bout actually started with NJ over two weeks ago, then went to Golden, then went to me. I am just now getting over it.

NJ has been sick before, so this wasn't the first time we've dealt with illness as parents, but since the whole process of someone in the house not feeling good has stretched out for so long and because this was more powerful than the typical cold, it has felt like the last two weeks was training for all the future illnesses that he will bring into the house. I know from watching other families with kids that sickness is common if not nearly constant in a lot of homes.

I don't have anything deeper than this, especially because I don't expect that most people will be checking blogs over Memorial Day weekend. In case you need something further, below are some pictures of NJ from the last couple of months.

what do you want?

Throughout the past couple of years I have tried several different types of posts. Some have been successful and some haven't. A lot of this has been influenced by the amount of time that I might have at any given point to devote to a post and by trends in the blogs. In spite of this, I figure I may be able to increase the proportion of successful posts if I get some feedback.

This is a call out to anyone who reads this with any regularity. I am more than happy to hear what types of posts you do and don't like. What would you like to see that you haven't and what are you sick of seeing?

The reason I am asking is that I have found that I am not spectacular at predicting the specifics of what other people like. The response that I have received from specific posts in the past has not necessarily lined up with how I would have ranked them on my own. It is important to note that this is not meant to provide me a pat on the back, so you can be brutally honest about what you don't like.

Obviously, this is just a request for those who want to provide feedback. I am not trying to obligate anyone, just get an idea of what people like and dislike the most. In the end I am going to post what I like and know, but I am more likely to devote real time to a post that I know somebody will probably like than to one that I am unsure about.

the worst

BB did something like this recently, but I would like to think this is a slightly different take. RottenTomatoes.com recently created a list of the one hundred worst movies that they have ranked. These are generally movies from the last eight to ten years and the rankings are based on tallies from movie reviewers, so this is not by any means a definitive list.

I have not seen most of the movies in the list, but I have included my opinions of some that I have seen below.

Elektra (89 of 100)
We actually got Elektra because Golden wanted to see it. I was hesitant because I knew the word on the street was that it was pretty bad. Actually, it was quite entertaining if somewhat shallow. I might be saying that because I never read the Elektra comic books, though, so I didn't have expectations.

Darkness Falls (87 of 100)
Darkness Falls wasn't absolutely horrible, but it was incredibly predictable. The main appeal to me of horror movies is not the scariness involved, but the fact that I have to try to figure out what is going on. Predictable horror movies take that appeal away.

The final scene where the main character must face down the object of his lifelong fear is rather cool. It's just easy to tell what is going to happen.

The New Guy (69 of 100)
The New Guy was genuinely bad. It was everything that is bad about a typical teen movie. The concept of the movie, that a nerd could learn how to be cool and start a new life at a new high school, had promise, but the actual story was dumb, dumb, dumb.

I will say that I have probably seen dumber kiddie-teen movies. I can't think of any right now, but I must have.

Ultraviolet (63 of 100)
I went into Ultraviolet expecting it to be unrealistic. I don't think it ever had the pretense of being a serious movie. Since I got the idea that the movie was not taking itself seriously I didn't take it seriously and just enjoyed the ridiculously unrealistic fight scenes. I think it is easier to enjoy a bad movie when it seemingly acknowledges its badness rather than tries to take itself too seriously.

Stay Alive (60 of 100)
Formulaic. Could tell when everyone was going to die. Didn't make complete sense. Very cheesy. I would have watched it anyway had I had it to do over again, though, because I enjoyed the idea of people getting sucked into a video game world. It didn't hurt that I thought that the video game world they were sucked into was cool.

Envy (54 of 100)
Envy was another of Golden's picks that I was leery about. My concern was that I would see too much of myself in Ben Stiller's character. When I actually watched the movie I found that my concerns were unfounded. The humor in the movie was not the least bit subtle, but it probably doesn't deserve to be on a "Worst" list. Instead, put it on a "Stereotypical Ben Stiller or Jack Black Movie" list.

The Fog (42 of 100)
I had a hard time caring enough about The Fog to follow it. I do not plan on watching the original, though I hear it is a little more interesting than this one.

Fear Dot Com (23 of 100)
I knew better than to watch this insipid movie. The main appeal of Fear Dot Com was the haunting cover art on the DVD case. This is an unbelievably stupid reason to watch a movie under normal circumstances. When the DVD is mailed to me without a case it borders on lunacy. The movie made absolutely no sense, so I learned my lesson for at least a couple of months.

Battlefield Earth (14 of 100)
I know this is a brainless science fiction movie strongly influenced by L. Ron Hubbard's beliefs, but it is first and foremost a brainless science fiction movie. I will not be watching it again, but I do not regret making the choice to rent it when I did. It was widely canned and derided, so I don't feel like my watching it somehow helped Scientology in any way.

The Master of Disguise (9 of 100)
When even the commercial for a "comedy" doesn't contain anything particularly funny that is a bad sign. As we were leaving the theater (yes, we saw this in a theater) I heard someone say that it was the worst movie he had ever seen. I wouldn't say that. I would say that it was the worst comedy I had ever seen. That still says a lot.

Alone in the Dark (2 of 100)
I did not realize that Alone in the Dark was going to be such a bad movie. I did not investigate the movie, though, so had I realized that Tara Reid was cast as a scientist, this may have tipped me off. I have been waffling between whether I have seen worse movies or not. There are movies that were more unpleasant to watch, but those were still nearly all higher quality than this movie. Regardless, this movie does deserve to be where it is on the list.

I won't say what movie was ranked at number one, but you can find it here. I haven't seen that movie and I don't really intend to.

I have a few thoughts about this list (meaning the complete list and not the one above). There were a few actors who showed up quite a bit on the list. For example Tim Allen, Freddie Prinze, and Cuba Gooding Jr. are prominently featured. The first two I understand, but I would have thought that Mr. Gooding Jr. would be able to get better roles.

Also, I have been watching The Day After Tomorrow as I have been typing this. Politics aside, that movie belongs on the list as much as several of the ones above. The only thing saving it is the spectacular special effects. At least that is the one thing that supporters of the movie keep pointing to. It is possible that the movie is intended to be campy, but the campiness feels unintentional to me.

What about you? Do you see movies on the list that you agree or disagree with? Are there movies you think should be on the list, especially from the last ten years?

bless you, here's a pranky

On Saturday one of the letters I got in the mail had the following printed on the envelope. I would find out later at church that I was not the only one who received the letter, and that my impression of the letter was more or less the same as most everyone else.

"God's Holy Spirit instructed us to loan you this to start turning things around for you. So, here it is."

I had two immediate thoughts. First, I thought that this should be entertaining. Second, I concluded that I didn't need to think any more about what I would be posting on Monday. My opinion is that for most people this will either be very entertaining because of how crazy it is or it will be incredibly boring.

When I opened the envelope looking for some hokey stuff the contents did not disappoint. The first thing I saw was a blurry picture of Jesus in clouds, arms outstretched, next to text that informed me that I should not read the sealed prophecies until I returned a "prayer page" and "prayer handkerchief" (henceforth called the "pranky") in the envelope that was enclosed.

The instructions on the prayer page made several references to Acts 19:11-12 as proof that God wanted the recipient (in this case, me) to send back the pranky. The steps I was to follow were quite a bit more specific than the passage in Acts, but I was assured that this is what the Holy Spirit had instructed.

• I was to write my name and the name of someone who needs God's assistance in the middle of the pranky.
• I was to open my Bible to the passage in Acts.
• I was to lay the pranky on that passage. God apparently works by osmosis.
• I was to leave my Bible and pranky under the side of my bed for the night. I guess the smell of old shoes doesn't impact the process.
• I was to mail the pranky back immediately in the morning with the letter containing a list of things that I might like God to do for me and a line stating what type of "seed gift" I am giving to "God's work."
• I was to wait until I mailed all this stuff before I read my sealed prophecy.
• This was not technically a step, but both Matthew 9:29 and Mark 10:27 were both quoted to add extra assurance that this is what God wanted me to do.

I cheated and opened the sealed prophecies. The general points are listed below and my comments are italicized.

• The prophetic words are from the Holy Spirit Himself. Of course, this assertion is a large part of why I am being merciless with this mailer.
• I have a greater purpose than I have discovered. I agree. Care to elaborate, though?
• I am currently facing a decision. I am always facing a decision. Actually, of all the times in the last fifteen years my life, this is probably one of the ones where I am facing the fewest major, life-altering decisions.
• I need to set new goals in life because I am apathetic. I would guess this describes most people, but this is probably accurate.
• I have the power in me to speak blessings into my life. This sounds more like something Shirley McClaine might say than the Holy Spirit. God blesses. I don't.
• I may feel inner power growing because of my closeness to the Holy Spirit. Okay, this is about as big and bright as a red flag gets. I don't believe the Holy Spirit ever needs to use the word "may" unless He is describing a month.
• God will direct my steps. True, but I shouldn't need to mail any prankies anywhere for that to happen.


• I will be blessed as I am faithful in sowing seed into God's kingdom. Send money.

I know everyone reading this is intelligent enough to see through this charade, but I do want to detail what bothers me about this mailer.

• The "ministry" consists of a post office box, two phone numbers, and a millionaire in California. I am sure he got his money because he sent a pranky to someone else.
• Anyone who claims to relay what the Holy Spirit is saying better truly be relaying what the Holy Spirit is saying. I will go out on a limb and say that this church-cliché-ridden mass mailer is not word for word from the Holy Spirit.
• Apparently, this "ministry" targets—I mean, blesses—poor people.
• Rather than do something that draws people toward God, this "ministry" essentially pushes two groups of people away from God. First, those who believe in what this mailer is saying are encouraged to believe that God expects a defined set of steps to be closer to Him. God wants a relationship with people, not an instruction manual. Second, cynics who see Christianity as the realm of scammers and idiots have to get that idea from somewhere.
• I believe that the furthest you can be from God is to exploit through falsehoods others' desire to have faith for your own personal gain. I don't know how all sins stack up, but I cannot imagine many being much worse.