danita

NJ is 139 days old today. That doesn't sound like much of a milestone. It isn't a round number, and only in a baby's first couple of weeks does anyone measure age in days. It is a very serious milestone for me, though.

When people ask me how many siblings I have I always answer that I have one sister. This is not completely true. Less than two months before my second birthday my mom gave birth to my sister Danita. Danita had a lot of medical problems, but I think most of them had to do with her skeletal structure. I do not know many details about that, though. Most of the questions I have asked about her were when I was too young to get into great medical detail.

I don't remember much about Danita. In fact there is a possibility that the memories I do have are somewhat concocted from the few pictures that exist of her. I think the memories are real, but they are too foggy to be sure. I do know that I did not have too much trouble understanding when she died. I think I was too young for the gravity of the situation to bother me.

Danita passed away October 23, 1981, just 139 days after her birth, due to a case pneumonia that the pediatrician was slow to respond to. I have always known that the experience was difficult for my parents, but I never completely thought through how old 139 days really is. Since this is still the infant stage, it doesn't sound like a lot of time to get involved in a child's life. Now that I have NJ I can honestly say that I don't know how I would deal if something similar happened to him.

A little over a year after Danita died my youngest sister was born. She received the middle name "Joy" because my parents didn't know if they would have another child after Danita. For the first time in my life, I think I can appreciate why.