control

I have been realizing lately that I need to start addressing my control issues. I don't really have problems with controlling others. My problem is that I cannot stand other people controlling me.

I have always had issues when I thought others were trying to manipulate me. I think that is partly just personality and partly comes from some past experiences where I didn't feel like I had any control in my life. No matter where it comes from, the end result is that I take a lot of steps to make sure that I control my fate, so to say. I keep our family budget in line largely because not doing so would leave me at the mercy (and in the control) of others. I am very cautious around people who like to control others because I don't want them meddling in my life. I try very hard to have an understanding of surroundings and predict what is likely to happen so I can avoid being blindsided. I simply do a lot so I don't lose control.

There are a lot of problems with this, not the least of which is that I have a more passive personality. Some probably see that as an invitation to try to control me. Also, the steps I take can sometimes hamper my interactions in life. Finally, nobody is ever in control of 100% of their life, so I'll always be getting irritated at something that is out of my hands. I just can't control that. I'll try to, though.